Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Betcha won'drin' where all of the hotcha new indie singles are comin' from these days, hunh? Y'know, all of those wild spinners recorded by tantrum'd teens in their living rooms while mom was pilled out of her mind in the bedroom and dad was out working at the salt mines? The ones with the spiffy covers and low-fidelity pressings that really used to brighten up your day because they seemed so much more exciting than real records? Well, wonder on, because none of these platters can hold a candle to "Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo" or "Agitated" although  they sure can...well, read on 'n see for yourself!

Fooskashuta-"Goin' My Way?"/"Jack It Up" (Thrill-a-Minnit, 1322 Fifth Avenue, Megalopolis, PA 15100)

First up on today's litany of obscure post-post-music 45's this weirditie that originally came out on the now defunct Pubic Bust label in Japan. Fooskashuta (whose name loosely translates into "Sumo Wrestler Jockstrap Skidmark") are definitely part of the neo-gutter rock scene now making an indent on these shores, and a stateside release is more than welcome considering how most of the Japanese press run had tragically been melted down in order to make phony phalluses for a Tokyo-based Spring Fertilization Festival that unfortunately did not have enough dongs to spare. The music seems to be a tribute to early-eighties Japanese hardcore rompers the Stalin, though def. refs. to such late-eighties heroes as the Boredoms can be discerned if you listen ever-so-slightly. Vocals are typically crazed and not only off-the-wall but running over the other side screaming, though I find their English to be about as good as any heard on your typical East Bloc hardcore rant. With some luck, I might be able to get $1.50 in trade.
La Santa Muerte-"No Pasaran My Asaran"/"Viva La Morton" (Maverdo, PO Box 1939, Madrid Spain)

Spain ain't exactly been one of the underground rock hotspots other'n for a few Basque separatist punk platters that got unleashed about twenty-five years back, but these Deep Fried Falangists really know how to make up for years of neglect. A side's a snooty broadside against the communist forces who tried in vain to turn the Iberian Peninsula into Moscow West, while the flip sports a rather spiffy tribute to former Electric Eels/Ex-Blank-Ex guitarist John Morton. I guess the big man does case a huge shadow even across the Atlantic, and the Eels influence on these two sides is undeniable. Slip on a brown shirt and kick out some communists to the strains of La Santa Muerte today!
Dim Sum-SETTING ZERO EP (Hidden Galaxy, PO Box Infinity, Coney Island New York)

It was inevitable that Von Lmo imitators would eventually be cluttering up the field, and Dim Sum are no exception. From the imitation Lmo artwork on the cover to the rip-roaring atonal guitars this is nothing but a keen imitation of RED RESISTOR-styled overdrive that's so accurate I'm surprised Lmo hasn't sued yet. The screeching lead vocals of Friedrich Von Mengele (real name: Giuseppe Afanabla) get into that heavy New Yawk Lmo cum Handsome Dick Manitoba yelp that for a minute will make you wonder whether or not he's really singing about the cosmos or hailing a cab. Either way you're all set for a wild ride that'll take you to Andromeda and back, all in the comfiness of your very own fart-encrusted boudoir.
Public Toilet-"I Woke Up With Yr Mom"/"Made Ya Look" (Dine and Dash, available via Systematic)

It's sooooo obvious these guys Richard Meltzer, and I wouldn't be surprised one bit if each 'n every one of 'em jacked off to glossies of the guy that were printed up to promote THE NIGHT (ALONE). A-side is positively thee answer record to "I'm In Love With Your Mom" with its pseudo (or is it neo?) heavy metal chords that seem to owe more to Black Sabbath than Black Flag (yeah, what was the dif?), while "Made Ya Look" is a riff on the old kiddie game, only with a strangely sinister intent that really seems to be pushing the buttons during these days when anything kiddie and sex related cannot go hand in gland, A SERBIAN FILM notwithstanding. I'm sure that if you plug yourself in right things will go along rather smoothly, as the little girl said to the little boy on the way to the picnic.
Ai! Yi Yi!!-HEAVY FLOW EP (Triple Amputee, c/o the estate of Todd Browning)

More Far Eastern frolics from the always worthwhile Triple Amputee label, best known for releasing the boffo Butt Plug Fantasies single a year back. Grindcore guitars never went outta style with these Japanazi outcasts who sound like they're rarin' to have a go at yet another Bataan Death March, and the title track is more'n enough evidence that we're gonna hafta start up yet another war crimes tribunal before long. Singer Fuji Mammajamma actually shreds epiglottis on these sides which, besides the title track (perhaps the keenest tribute to Dean Corll ever committed to wax) also feature such to-the-point ditties as "Minimata Rectal Probe" and "Teflon Replacement Hymen" (when Mammajamma wails on about bruising his buster on this 'un it really gets ya here!).
Cash Cow-"Retard Superman"/"All F*cked Up" (Plastic Explosive)

And you thought things couldn't get any more tasteless! Well Cash Cow has proven you all wrong with this single that's guaranteed to get the group a whole lotta free publicity from a whole buncha nambla-pamblies who think that the severely retarded should not be made fun of one bit! Personally I don't believe Cash Cow are actually making fun of the usual IQ 50 crowd...after a close study of the lyrics I actually believe the group's making a keen and rather astute comment regarding fracking but I'm not 100% sure. Whatever the case may be, they wrap it all up in some mighty hotcha savage yet subdued music that echoes back to the late-eighties underground of A Dying Gymnast and Harm Farm. Yes, the classics!

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