Saturday, October 31, 2020


Haven't had any-a-these foodie roundups inna while so maybe this week's the time to give ya the lowdown on some new current treets that have passed my tastebuds as of late. Most often I stick with the cheap knockoffs of already-established morning munchers to start the day but sometimes a "temporarily reduced price" item'll catch my eyeballs at the local supermarket and wel hey, who am I to pass up a bargain anyway? 

Anyhoo here are a few tasty treets (and some maybe nots) that I've come across as of late. Feel free to munch in with your own breakfast experiences if you so deem it not beneath you to be reading this blog inna first place!


Breakfast with the Cap'n's been  pretty much life-long experience, although after such endeavors as PEANUT BUTTER CRUNCH or the nothing but Crunchberries efforts I've been rather cool on the newer efforts using the ol' Cap's name. However, COTTON CANDY CRUNCH just seemed too enticing to pass up, especially considering just what a rarity cotton candy used to be when I was a kid and the only places you could get it were at carnivals and such and my folks didn't want me being exposed to the riff raff or something like that so I never get as much as I woulda wanted. Nothing that special with this new addition to the Crunch line, though a spark of that olde tymey candy flavor does tend to sneak into the usual breakfast cereal mix. In all, a better idea at bringing snack food into the early morning realm than COOKIE CRISP ever was.

Gotta say that for many a year the only way I would eat Chex cereal was if it was mixed up in a snack with loads of savory flavoring and maybe a few pretzel sticks and peanuts tossed in for good measure. This blueberry variation on the original Chex mode was something that did catch my eyeballs if only because I am one guy who likes my shredded wheat iced with blueberry-flavored sugar.

These don't have the same early morning impact as blueberry shredded wheat but it does make for a different cereal experience. The blueberry flavor does come off rather faint when compared to the iced shredded wheat variety of breakfast munchables, but it does mingle well with the already bland Chex flavor making for something that just ain't powerful enough to get you goin' for the day with all that sugar in your system. But then again on some of those days where you just wanna sleep in and goof off all day something like this won't get you all revved up and jumping like a bundle of tangled nerves. If cereal was pop music this would be Laurie London.

Hoo boy, two breakfast cereal ideals scrunched together to make a new and exciting treat! The formerly Sugar (yay!) Frosted Flakes mixed with your typical cereal-type marshmallows certainly do make for one of the biggest bangest combinations since nitro and glycerin to give you one of those great morning surges that kept you going at least until your 10:30 snack sneak what with alla that wonderful sweetness for your body to absorb! The marshmallows ain't chalky either yet they ain't as puffed as the kind you get in a bag, so it's like yer gettin' super sweet cereal with CANDY mixed in! For those of us who miss the good old days when George Reeves as Clark Kent would push the fact that Sugar Puffs taste sweet like candy you can bet a huge roar of delight will run through every nerve and sinew in your very own system! A must get for anyone truly nostalgic for pre-health nut eating.

On the heels of the above comes this new twist on an old treat and...sheesh, was I let down! Now the whole "honey nut" cereal idea which started way back inna seventies has been a boon to breakfast tables across these fruity plains,  but somehow the combination of honey nut and Frosted Flakes just doesn't cut it like I surely hoped it would. Frankly it lacks a lotta that caked on sugar that I love with a bowl of my flakes, and the honey flavor really ain't that strong or sweet for that matter. But if it's part of a good breakfast I'll gulp down a bowl anyday, and even as a snack I find this a better sweet treat than I do Aunt Mabel's Menses Pie or Crazy Uncle Arnold's Fudge Surprise, which really is a gourmet treat if you happen to be at a Randy Shilts memorial.

Shee-yucks! here I go badmouthing Cookie Crisp cereal above, then I go out and procure a box of this particular similarly themed cereal which for all intent purposes is the same ol' masquerade breakfast cereal as sugary sweets gimmick that's been working its wonders these past fiftysome years! But eh, the stuff was on special, and you know how I can't resist a bargain no matter how much it tastes like cardboard!

But Original Chips Ahoy Cereal really doesn't bring back bad early-seventies breakfast excursions...that much at least. It has the hint of chocolate and cookie that you like, all with that typically corn-y breakfast cereal backdrop that you just can't get enough of even all these years later. Actually a good enough early morning (or dinner for that matter) treat that could only be accentuated if there were a free toy surprise stuck in there just like in the good ol' days.

Wotta loser! Basically bland (especially when compared with the actual Fruit Loop real deal) cereal with a hint of strawberry and something else that is kinda sweet but that's about it. You don't even get that overdose of vanilla that usually comes with these various items trying to attain a birthday cake flavor. The very existence of this cereal should have Toucan Sam hanging his head in shame, though it he did that I can tell that his beak would gouge right into a very tender part of his anatomy so it's best that he refrain from doing just that! Thankfully this is part of a "limited edition" series that I hope limits itself even more!, breakfast downer of the year that it is.

Every so often these cereal manufacturers try to lure in the up-'n-comin' chi-chi urban sophisticate types with  these new and exotic flavors that I guess are supposed to appeal to the cosmopolitans who like to chatter on about their superiority over everyone else who is not fit to be seen within their proximity. Since the cereal people haven't had the nerve to come up with something that would really appeal to 'em such as anus-flavored Cheerios someone at Kellogg's naturally thought up something less "real" yet still fashionable enough like "Pumpkin Spice", probably in time for the Halloween holidays but it seemed too good so why just market it then?

Truthfully this isn't quite the flavor-packed breakfast treat I would have liked, but if you want something to eat inna morning while slurping your special blend coffee and reading THE NEW YORK TIMES this just might be the thing. Gotta say that it did taste pretty good once I put some whipped cream upon top, so maybe this just might be the hit of the day next Thanksgiving after a hefty turkey dinner with lotsa gravy 'n mashed potatoes.
MERMAID CEREAL (General Mills)

I really don't have a thing for mermaids (I mean, where do you stick it in?), but the price was reduced and I thought wha' th' hey anyway. Still it wasn't that much of a bargain since Mermaid Cereal tastes like a watered down Fruit Loops with none of the zip and sugar coated fun one wants in their early-morning gobble down. Your li'l daughter or even son who's going through one of those "confused" times might go for this, but I frankly found it a rather unexciting way to get the day off to a bright 'n happy start.
'n that's about it as far as any current morning...who'm I kiddin'?---ANY TIME OF THE DAY cereal taste treats go! 'n if you (like me) really hold those days of Dr. Dentons and splattering your Corn Puffs all over the carpet in front of the tee-vee as old Popeye cartoons rolled on then man you still need some breakfast cereal in your life! So getcherself some classic Dee-Vee-Dee's, some pee-jays with footside in 'em and a box of cereal and once again return to those days when the worst thing you hadda worry about was getting a good beating on the butt for making a mess of things. And knowing some of you readers I'm sure you'd enjoy that as well!


debs said...

lol barf-o-rama lol

MoeLarryAndJesus said...

Heroin is probably better for you than this shit.

Bill S. said...

When I was out shopping at 7 a.m. this morning (before I read BTC), I picked up a box of Blueberry Chex, looked it over, and put it back on the shelf. Now, if I'd have seen the Frosted Flakes with Marshmallows, I definitely would have grabbed that, even before knowing it had the BTC seal of approval.


Little Eva Braun said...

Are we headed for the diabetic ward?

Anonymous said...

"A teenage Xbox vigilante loser with a hero complex, whose momma drove him AND his rifle to where people were protesting, set his mind and his gun on antagonizing a group of people he is terrified of, succeeded in doing that, couldn't take (the heat) and resorted to MURDER.

F*** him, AND his momma." And frankly, you too Chris.

Christopher Stigliano said...

Nice spin you put on that story, 'non (as if I don't know who you really are), and by the way stick to the subject at hand!

Walter Winchell said...

Anne Frankly, you too, Chris – and Mr and Mrs America and all the ships at sea.

Bart Bright said...