Sunday, August 05, 2012


Ain't done one of these in awhile. And, because Brad Kohler did complain about the lack of food and drink reviews as of late, this 'un (in part) deals with things you can cram down your throat and no jokes please!

But before I start (considering that the above pun is still freshly ruminating in my mind), maybe I should mention the recent passing of noted novelist and general sickoid even if people I dig liked him Gore Vidal. Yeah, the ol' homo is no longer with us, and for some perhaps not-so-strange reason I can picture him and his old adversary William F. Buckley Jr. right at this very moment arguing for all eternity while being consumed by the fires of Hell. I get that way sometimes, but really, I do believe that it was viewing that famous televised debate between Vidal and Buckley trading off the insults ("You're a fascist!" "Well, you're a fairy!!!") that got me interested in this wild and wacky world we call politics, and judging from the various blogs and sites that I frequent the sentiments remain ever so vitriolic! Gotta thank you for that Gore even if you were a rather disgusting in many ways man who even performed an unnatural act on Jack Kerouac, something which we at BLOG TO COMM do not approve of in any way, shape or form. Well, I guess that now you're dead I better not say anything bad about you since that's what the more "enlightened" amongst us always tell us ("Never speak ill of the dead!"), though for some reason they seem to give themelves as "pass" on this sacred rule when the names Hitler, McCarthy, Nixon and Agnew pop up! Which is all well and good, but sheesh, if I can only add Stalin, Wertham, Guevara and Ralph Gleason to the list would we be even???

Although I ain't exactly the kinda guy who goes out and gets sloshed every night it ain't exactly like I'm one who totals the tea either. Alcohol consumption for me is a give or take affair...perhaps a li'l wine if they offer it free at the Eyetalian restaurant or an occasional can of Genessee Cream Ale if a six-pack is brought home, but nothing more. However, it's been quite awhile since I enjoyed the taste of any Guinness and so, perhaps spurred on by an email giving details as to how to make a neat hot day treat mixing some with some Coca-Cola and vanilla ice cream (though I used Diet Pepsi) I figured hey, why not!

Downing some was a rather enjoyable experience too, not only with the aforementioned cola 'n ice cream but straight. The taste is pretty heavy ("bold" as the critics like to call it) that recalls a flatter yet stronger Genessee CA yet is almost reminiscent of a patent medicine that's been in your granny's cabinet since 1917 only now it was fifty years later and you were up to a li'l "experimentin'"! I dunno why, but drinking some (at room temperature like they do o'er in Eerie as well!) brought back memories...of what I can only guess since it wasn't like I was gulping this down throughout my teenbo years. However, I will admit that a youthful excitement did overcome my bod for some unexplained reason. Maybe I was a lush in a previous life, though I've always expected that if such things as reincarnation were true then my previous life was as a slug and my current existence is nothing but a downgrade from that.

Oh yeah, and as for the Guinness Float...twas hokay though next time I would use a certainly stronger flavored cola or perhaps obtain some syrup straight from the distributor. If I happen to do any shandygaffin' with the rest of the six-pack (which I plan to down in the basement whilst spinning albums) I probably would use something along the lines of a Vernor's Ginger Ale (or "Ginger Soda" as they now call it) or perhaps dish out some additional lucre for some of that really strong Jamaican ginger beer that's always guaranteed to scorch the inner lining of your epiglottis! Maybe some Dr. Pepper or lemon lime would also be in order. Too bad Moxie's unobtainable in these parts, because the golden brown and potent flavor of that one'd really go well with the strange nostalgic appeal of Guinness! Hmmm, I better stop right now before people begin to mistake this for one of those chi-chi microbrewery blogs that are peppering up the landscape as we speak!
SURFSIDE SIX (ABC television series, 1960-1962)

Gotta admit that I really love the dickens outta those late-fifties/early-sixties Warner Brothers private eye series that ABC banked their bucks on, and SURFSIDE SIX is no exception. Although not as well known as WB biggies 77 SUNSET STRIP or HAWAIIAN EYE, at least this 'un's got the same formula with a buncha handsome guy hunks in the lead roles, the obligatory blonde and, for a change, Margarita Sierra as Cha Cha O'Brien and pseudo-Stooge Mousie Garner as who else but Mousie as if they hadda give him another name! Storylines are boss early-sixties cookie-cut complete with standard mobster heavies, sexy damsels either tied up with or running from such heavies, and of course the trio of Troy Donahue, future Green Hornet Van Williams and Lee Patterson exhibiting about as much early-sixties tee-vee manhood as any pimply lardbutt lovestruck teenager could stand. And as for the girls, well I'm positive that they'd go for these three too. Light fluff compared to CHECKMATE and JOHNNY STACCATO, but still a fun brain deadener that I know I could easily get hooked on if it happened to be running weekday nights just like I did with HOGAN'S HEROES and THE LUCY SHOW as a teen.

Got my dub from Bill Shute, who got his copy from a recent run on the Good Life TV Network which has also been running STRIP. Good choice Good Life, though if you really had some brains howzbout airing some of the other WB private dick shows like BOURBON STREET BEAT and THE ROARING TWENTIES while yer at it? Maybe even some of those more obscure WB PI series that are still talked about in hushed tones such as WARSAW AFTER DARK or DIAL "F" FOR FREDONIA would be fitting of your night time schedule as well.

Going from fermented libation to the soft stuff, here's something I bought outta curiosity when passing through the "ethnic grub" section at the local supermarket. Always on the go for a new taste sensation, I picked up a sack of some "Horchata" mix which, for some odd reason, I thought was going to be a non-alc Pina Coloda drink that would go down fine during the hot months we're now enjoying. However instead of the tangy pineapple/coconut-flavored drink I was expecting, it turns out that Horchata is a cinnamon/rice concoction that, although rather alien to a soda pop guzzler like myself, had a nice interesting taste to it that obviously reminded me of rice pudding! I've come across some on-line recipes for the stuff which I'd prefer to make with an artificial sweetener considering the diabetes double whammy that I'll probably inherit in a few year's time, but after serious thought (and the bizarre methods being used to make it) I decided to stick with the store brand! Have a gallon of the stuff on hand for a hot 'n sticky day and worry about the glucometer some other time.

I remember when an Arthur Treacher's opened up over in Boardman Ohio (on the strip leading right into Youngstown) when I was but a mere lad and word spread fast about their great 'n "authentic" Fish and Chips that were just like the kind they eat over there in ol' Blighty! The fam'bly actually stopped there one day to give it a try and we all concurred that the meal we had was really grand. Then an Arthur Treacher restaurant opened up in Sharon and it became the new hotcha place to eat. I remember the place always being crowded, and what I really thought was cool about the chain was that they used to serve Faygo beverages including Faygobrau, their Ginger Beer which had a real head just like beer of the alcoholic variety and tasted way better'n the pale dry stuff that's oh so common these days!

Unfortunately when Long John Silvers headed into the area they stole a lotta Arthur Treacher's steam, but fortunately the original restaurant still stands albeit with a drive through window which makes lazyass types like myself all the more get go about going there. Which is what I did just a short while ago, and while I gotta say the prices are now rather atrocious (something like $7.00 for a reg'lar dinner) the food is still pretty snat.

The fish is now prepared differently without the beer batter of yore, more like a fine flour mixture not that dissimilar to what Kentucky Fried Chicken puts on their birds. The results are a crispier if still potent piece of seafood that looks more like the stuff you see the greenteeths over there gobble down only served without the old newspapers. The "chips" are still nice and thick, though have some special seasoning on 'em which adds to the taste sensation. Of course, the obligatory hushpuppies which gives this a slight southern accent are added, and although not authentic (why no li'l pearl onions or even those big peas?) it still taste good and remind me of when I was a kid and food like this was the baby boomer equiv. of dining at Delmonico's.

Most of my munch money has been going towards Chinese buffets as of late, but I think I will be heading back to Arthur Treacher's for some future meals. Even if the price is not conduit to my pocketbook it's worth sacrificing things such as electric bills to get your fill of the good stuff. Only wish Faygo'd reintroduce their Faygobrau just so's I can get the full adolescent effect all over again before heading home to hit a stack of comic books and pop a few pimples while I'm at it! Ahh, the good ol' (pus-infected) days!

(LAST MINUTE NOOZE!: looks like if I'm to be headin' for another meal at Arthur Treachers I better be headin' soon 'n fast, for there was a notice in the paper last Monday that this once-venerable joint is closing, and closing for good to be emphatic about it! I knew it was comin', not only because of the lack of cars parked outside the restaurant but the sky high prices I mentioned earlier [as well as the "for sale" sign that was on/off again being placed in the front], but even though I am not a reg'lar patron I am sad to see it go. Yes, the memories of going to packed restaurants as a kid waiting patiently for my grub will forever linger in my mind, part of an adolescence that also included enjoying recycled fifties culture and trying hard to not have a nervous breakdown in front of the entire class. Well, yet another part of my past about to be torn down, though all I gotta say is...if any old structures that made up my cultural background hafta be destroyed why can't it be one of the old schools I went to where those aforementioned breakdowns would most often occur? I'd really go for that, especially if all of my old teachers and classmates were locked in while it all comes down!!!)

While we're on the subject of seafood, howzbout this specialty courtesy of Chef Christomaine? After readin' a ref to Lobster Newberg in that ARCHIE Sunday strip collection I reviewed a few days back, I got to wond'rin' just exactly what was this high class dish that I've heard so much about but tasted naught. Turns out that Lobster Newberg is a neato-looking food that, although costly and calorific if you prepare it the correct way, can be made a whole lot cheaper and with low fat ingredients t'boot! Of course it won't taste as good as if you had the real deal ingredients, but do you want to spend the rest of your life looking like me? If you wanna make a batch for yourself to gorge, don't go web searching for a million recipes that pretty much say the same thing but use my well proven plan!

two packs of imitation lobster (or the real stuff if you're feeling rich)

about 3/4ths cup of imitation low-cholesterol eggs

about 3/4ths cup of skim milk

a heaping tablespoon of flour

a level tablespoon or more of paprika or cayenne pepper

a carton or two of fresh sliced mushrooms if you prefer

cooking sherry...a half cup or even more if you want it tangy

salt to taste

toasted bread
Now here's what'cha do...get an empty, clean jar (mayonnaise preferred) and put the milk, imitation egg and flour in. Maybe even the salt or paprika/cayenne if you so prefer. Now shake it up real good like you were makin' Shake-a-Puddin' until it's nice and smooth like paint. Make sure you have no lumps. Now, put it all in a saucepan and let it cook slow. Stir a lot so you don't get that scortch on the bottom. If you want to use sliced mushrooms (not part of the legit recipe but a nice aberration) put them in now and let them cook slowly with the mixture until tender. Taste to see if more salt, or paprika/cayenne is needed.If still thin, maybe a li'l more flour would do. When mushrooms are nice and cooked add the imitation or real lobster and sherry, then cook slowly for about another twenty minutes to half hour. Pour on toast (I like to tear my toast into pieces for easy eating) and munch away!

A meal fit for a BLOG TO COMM reader, though when I made some a few days back the sauce curdled a bit. Didn't affect the wondrous taste at all though next time I will be more careful not to cook at too high a heat. However, if you are picky about how it looks and don't wanna gobble it serve to Fido. Lucky dog!!!
RON PAUL (politician)

Well,it was good while it lasted. And a whole ton of fun too. Remember how those promising showings had all them cable tee-vee pundits gagging phlegm like, "this isn't supposed to be happening...quick, someone slip me the correct script!" A good hunkerin' portion, hell, ALL of those conservative radio hosts were also in an uproar, with Rush Limbaugh calling you the insane old uncle who slipped outta the attic'r something like that and Mark Levin flipping out over not only you but your various big-time supporters like Jack Hunter, calling him a fag even though there ain't any proof whether or not he is (as if anybody knew who he was or really cared if he was for that matter). Even Neil Boortz was frothing mad at not only you but your supporters until he finally settled down'n said you were fantastic, but only if your foreign policy permitted the wanton scale bombings of civilian targets and the wholesale wiping out of non-combatants! And yeah there's Michael Medved, but can ya really take a guy who thinks that IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE is the best film ever (and drove true talents like Arch Hall Jr. to righteous rage by acting all nice to him before swinging the ax) seriously?

Hokay, you ain't exactly a razzle-dazzler. But do we need any more politicians who are? Look at all of the recent presidents we've had from ex-moom pitcher stars to over-emotive "kinder and gentler" types who "feel your pain". Heck, at least those old timey mean presidents like Nixon were acting a whole lot truer to least we knew they were crooks from the get go and their seedy public personas did nothing to change our opinions! But hey, you coming off as an everyday talkin' at'cha kinda guy is a whole lot more digestible'n the recent rash of fakes who may have seemed downright honest to the masses, but all I saw was a whole lotta rakin' in the rubes in the most condescending ways I would have thought possible!

Unlike all of your enemies, I never thought any of your  followers were a buncha numbots who gulped down your every word without deciphering and digesting it. Most if not all of the ones I've heard and read seemed way more informed'n the standard man-in-the-street schlub who, when presented with a pointed question about what their candidate believes, walks away in anger shouting their eternal support for whomever it is they see as their new savior. Judging from what Paul supporters have been writing on various blogs and sites like TAKI'S MAGAZINE I see them as being rather level headed and not afraid to say where they may disagree with you on certain issues unlike the total black/white groupthink that's so prevalent in mainstream politics. And man are they straightforward about it. Not like some of those doofuses at DEMOCRATIC UNDERGROUND who, after saying how mildly disappointed they are with Obama for this, that and the other thing mutter that at least he's for gays getting hitched.

Yeah, the opposition (from both sides of the aisle) did their durndest to make you look either crazy or dangerous. Yeah, the John Birch thingie was brought up which I gotta say made me wonder which year this was, and if "guilt" by association with an organization that was lied about for years on end was a crime I'm sure you would've been swinging high from the rafters a long time ago. Of course us level headed types knew better, but sometimes it does stick a li'l in my craw hearing the same ol' diatribes being levied against you which, although refuted over and over again, still come on as if the ones doin' the leveling didn't think we heard 'em the first time around so they just shout louder.

But for "unpatriotic conservatives" such as yourself at least you have been striking the right chords in a world of politics that I have grown to loathe what with all of the backstabs and false promises I've heard over the course of the past few decades. And I gotta say that I love it when people call you nutzo for your "foreign policy",  especially when they're either so hell bent on turning the world into a real life version of STRATEGO or feign the peacenik groove until there's a war that suits their purposes. Also gotta chuckle over the ranting that's been going on over those "racist" newsletters of yours especially when they seemed rather mild (and hardly the printed equiv. to a cross burning that some have decreed) when compared to many of the opinion-spewers on the left (and what's left of the right) who have become so shrill and loathing that they make a kluxer sound benevolent in comparison. I guess that thinking you were one of the saner voices on the political thrillway  also makes me a ranting racist anti-American peacecreep anarchist or something like that, and if it does there any place I can get a t-shirt with all of this printed up so's I can wear it to the next Tea Party circle jerk and really show 'em the truly righteous way!

Well, if you hadda go out on your political career this way, at least you did a fairly good job of it. Thankfully you didn't capitulate (yet) and endorse the human mannequin Romney like your son did, which only makes me wonder if there are toolsheds in Washington DC you can take him to for a good whoopin'. Maybe that other son who wants to enter into politics'll have just a li'l more sense, but I dunno...can we really hope for the likes of more people of your stature in such a cesspool as our nation's capitol???

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