Wednesday, November 09, 2011

MOOM PITCHER DOUBLE FEATURE REVIEW! SUPERCHICK  (1973, starring Joyce Jillson and Louie Quinn) and GALAXINA  (1980, starring Dorothy Stratten and Avery Schrieber)

Hoo boy...another Crown International double-feature taken from the BIG SCREEN BOMBSHELLS set Lou Rone gave me last Christmas!!! Well, if there's nothing much happening on the boob tube and you don't feel like burrowing your way through thirtysome years of records 'n tapes then hey...why not?

SUPERCHICK's a standard early-seventies affair complete with that typically Nixon-era-esque "movie-of-the-week" incidental music that makes me think more about what's on the other channel more'n anything. It  stars a lady named Joyce Jillson playing an airline stewardess (this is before they called 'em "flight attendants" for some reason or another...probably due to all of that bad publicity that these stewardess movies were givin 'em) who plays it sweet 'n Moral Majority-like while on the job, but once she hits the city she whips off her Sandy Duncan wig and settles down for a whole lotta hotcha man-hungry action! And like the sailors of yore, she's got guys in every port; a germophobic doctor in New York, a beach bum gambler in Miami over his head in debt (played by the male lead from  POLICEWOMAN which I reviewed a coupla months back) and a fading teen idol loosely based on David Cassidy. Meanwhile, the big boss whom the beach bum owes plenty of filthy lucre to (played by Louie Quinn of 77 SUNSET STRIP fame) wants his client to wipe out his debt by having our stewardess be an unwitting accomplice in a mid-flight robbery. Between all this there's loads of bouncing boobs 'n butts for the twelve-year-old boys who are watching from the woods at your local rural drive-in to steam binoculars about, a cameo from Uschi Whatzername getting whipped, and even John Carradine pops in as this sicko who placed that swinging personal ad in a local underground paper so you know this has gotta be a good moom pitcher with lotsa class!

Nineteen-eighty's GALAXINA's a bizarrity, perhaps best known because the soon-to-croak Dorothy Stratten shows up in the lead as an android, but even a class-a star like her (well, that's what Peter Bogdanovich keeps sayin') can't save this typical example of late-period "snide" comedy/spoof in the ANIMAL HOUSE/SNL/MEL BROOKS-style that just doesn't gel like ya hoped it would. Still I gotta admit that I enjoyed what there was of it just because it was a strange period piece that, although failing dismally in poking fun at everything from ALIEN to STAR WARS, kept my eyeballs glued to the screen as if I were watching a clittoradectomy being performed on Anastasia Pantsios in slow motion. Funny how this type of humor really hit the target only a few years earlier, but by '80 it all seemed to get washed down the drain for whatever strange reason there may be (some say the advent of Reagan, others the ravages of cocaine). Still, if you wanna know what people like Avery Schrieber were up to after they slowly began fizzling from the cathode tubes look no further.

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