Thursday, August 14, 2014


Sheesh, another wopadago Pompeii film for me to peruse! Well, like the Brad Harris effort reviewed earlier this 'un's a pretty good afternoon lollygagger starring Steve Reeves in a action-packed winner featuring wild bandits working through the auspices of the local Isis temple (funny, I thought Isis was an Egyptian goddess!) and the emerging Christian movement who are getting blamed for the recent rash of murderous pillaging because the bad boys paint a red cross on the looted home in question. And that's not even mentioning the last big burst o' mountain goo itself which just happens to pop up at the right time, which is what we were all waiting for throughout the entire dad-blamed film!

A lot more interesting than the 79 AD moom reviewed a few months back, but just as Sunday afternoon nothing-else-to-do mindnapping as it ebbs and flows milking the same ol' plot for all it was worth. And really, when films like this were airing on those lazy summer afternoons it was either this, CHAMPIONSHIP BOWLING on the other station, or an extended romp in the bathroom with the wrong issue of NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC snatched up meaning you hadda get all aroused reading about the aluminum industry in Bahzramain 'stead o' them hula gals who looked like they breast fed the entire seventh fleet!

Again the historical inaccuracies might have given Eddie Haskell a run for the moolah, but it's still fun to watch even though star Steve Reeves, seen with a full set o' brannigans on the poster, is actually clean shaven here (maybe the distributors thought nobody would notice him w/o a beard!). And while I'm at it, I was wondering if there was gonna be any mention of that recently-unearthed painting found in the molten ashes of that doomed Eyetalian city that's up for restoration showing a guy engaged in sexual bliss with the goat of his choice?!?!?!? Unfortunately nada was said about this peculiar Pompeiian practice (which, from what I have read was more than a common practice between a man and his consenting cloven hoofed one) though considering the film was made a good fifty-plus years ago I'm sure the puritanical tastemongers would have definitely nixed anything so sweet and so pure as inter-species romance. Now if it were made in TODAY'S open and easy-going clime I'm sure that such a subject would not only be mentioned but in fact heralded as concrete proof of the all-inclusive nature for which we must now all strive. C'mon you Hollywood Big Bucks mogul, re-make THE LAST DAYS OF POMPEII as it should be presented for today's sophisticated audience, and do it like YESTERDAY!!!

No comments: