QUICK---SOMEBODY BUY TOM HANKS A CANDY BAR!

How are you enjoying the nice 'n warm October weather we're having here in the tri-county area anyway? Believe-you-moi I sure do appreciate this summertime extension we're having which I must say reminds me of some of the surprisingly nice and toasty Octobers that we've had in the past. Y'know, the kind that somehow intermingle with the better moments of my (and maybe even your) growing up days when I'd be reading comic books and watching old tee-vee programs when I should have been smoking pot like all of the other eight-year-olds out there!.And hey, since the Indians are predicting a cold winter I better get my hot weather jollies in while I can because this January you know that I'm gonna be freezing my toogles off shoveling the snow at six inna morn just fantasizing about all of that warm weather most of us took for granted only a few months prior! But hey, other'n that at least winter gives me a good enough reason to GOOF OFF!!! and we all I sure could use a whole lot more of that as the year winds down.

In other news...Tom Hanks has diabetes. And like... are we supposed to cry about it??? Even a sniffle or two regarding the fact will certainly not come from my obvious clogged sinuses I'll tell ya. I mean, thanks to a double family whammy which already guaranteed my baldness I'm gonna be more'n apt to get the dread disease than YOU probably will and guess what...NONE of you young whippersnappers are gonna care one bit whether or not my blood can be used as syrup for Dracula's pancakes.

I gotta admit that, although I couldn't give one fig what you think, it does burn me up a bit hearing all of that sad and sympathetic talk aimed towards a man of whom I have a total loathing and hatred for. Someone who I frankly wouldn't mind wishing some evil upon if only for the past three decades of his sniveling career which I somehow think was supposed to be directed towards the likes of me, as if anyone from Hollywood had cared to ask me what I like inna first place. This current crop of mewling reminds me of when I was a kid in school just loaded with all sorts of problems and miseries and inner demons trying to bore a hole through my noggin, and alla the girls would feel sorry for not me but some cutesy boy kid who had something not-so-drastically bad befall him! Of course the skirts felt this way only because he was a good looker and I was just another blubboid pimplefarm! I mean---I know I look more like Karbunkle or even Fester Bestertester than I do Guy Smiley, but I was the one who was having the problems and my heart and soul getting ripped outta me, and like the same people who were shedding tears over some updated Freddie Bartholomew type were continually tell me to "get over it" like it was that easy to toss off those traumatic experiences that pretty much shaped my entire personality and being!!!!

Yeah, tell me to get over the constant haranguing and debasement and abject ridicule, then go home and rub yourselves off while listening to Dylan sing about Hollis Brown and Hattie Carroll thinking you're all oh-so-superior to the rest of us mouth-breathers! Hope you feel really good, and don't forget to clean up the mess!

So you can (obviously I hope) tell that I have an extreme aversion to people showing sympathy for well off big name stars who bruise their pinky whilst all these poor schmucks with nada to their name actually cry' their li'l eyes out because of it! (An exaggeration???  Well, maybe not by much!) Well, I guess that now that the Kennedys have been dropping off like flies Ameriga needs some new hollow idols to bleed heart over and really, can you get any more hollower-than-thou than Hanks?

I think I've dished out enough curmudgeoness for the week...anyhoo here's what stimulated my stirrups this past week or so:

The Walnut Band-GO NUTS CD (Numusi Records, Germany)

Back during the illustrious days of underground rock making inroads into barfoid teenage listening patterns, I was thoroughly under the impression that all of the acts that were playing the much-fabled CBGB/Max's Kansas City circuit in lower Manhattan were of a thoroughly punkoid stock! Yes, I actually believed that each and every artist that set foot on the hallowed stages of those clubs was worthy of my record collection, and the fact that both clubs were able to subsist on the bevy of bountiful acts that not only existed in the local area but worldwide was living proof that this world was heading toward a powerful post-Velvets vista of high energy jamz that would last us for nigh up to a good decade or so, at which point something even more beneficial would come around to push us true believers into even greater realms of musical expression! Yeah, back then ignorant kids like myself could really conjure strange if compelling theories as to where rock music was heading and thankfully it wasn't into the sordid album rock direction the rest of the kids thought it would!

Funny how a li'l research could change your perceptions within the blink of a wink or however that old saying goes. Loads of digging and review scrounging had me discovering early on that maybe some of those CBGB and Max's acts just weren't as punk rock or even gnu wave-y as we all thought they were going to be. Oh yeah, some of 'em may have been punk rock in a 1971 CREEM magazine punk rock sorta way, or punkier than thou or even sorta punk, but a good portion of 'em weren't exactly punk like you me and the bedpost thought it might be. In fact, some of the groups that were appearing on the stages of those haunts were pretty much aping their directions from rather non-punkian sources, or even non-underground stylings of any sort or maybe even non-rock 'n roll ideals for that matter! Hard to believe that, but it's true as anyone who plunked down moolah for albums by the Movies and City Lights (both good enough acts at least in part) could tell you with a slight sense of disgust on their faces.

I have, at least as of the past two or so decades, been surprised at the number of decidedly non-punk acts that were playing the clubs during the mid-to-late seventies which as you know has shattered my pre-conceived notions like potrzebie! Of course there were the slew of heavy metal groups from the likes of Sun/Son and Sorcerers not to mention that all-time great Von Lmo at CB's and Max's, but they had at least a shard of early punk credo that I'm sure kept 'em interesting enough to the reams of regular attendees (as well as the unacquainted few). Rhythm and Blues (and just straight-ahead blues) was a big enough ticket in mid-seventies New York to the point where Max's even got mentioned on the cover of a Spivey Records sampler as a hot place to hear the likes of the Dicey Ross Blues Band, the Sugar Blues Band and other acts that never did get out as much as some thought they should have. (Did the legendary Rice Miller Band ever release anything?) And who could forget this quote that ex-Shirts singer Annie Golden spewed forth about how going to CBGB wasn't exactly a predictable experience given how Hilly Kristel would book not only the standard punk rock locals but jazz rock, rockabilly, psychedelic and other kinds of acts that probably couldn't get a gig anywhere other'n CBGB especially in those original music-starved days.

(One of the weirdest things I've discovered about the booking patterns at CBGB and Max's [and to a small extent Club 82] was the presence of progressive rock acts at the clubs! Max's seemed to be the bigger offender even though Peter Crowley drew a thirty-plus-year memory block when presented with some facts [blaming it all on Deerfrance who was booking acts while Crowley was cavorting in England managing Wayne County], but both places actually did book quite a few prog rockers amid the usual up-and-coming acts. One of them was called Amber Waves [led by mellotron and acoustic guitar player Jimmy Maraval] who actually performed their rock opera entitled "Justice and Sundown" at Max's twice where a special showcase for Manticore Records was attended by Emerson Lake and Palmer's manager! The guy was impressed, but this was right when ELP was falling apart and both they and Manticore's days were pretty much numbered. Another group called Elixir started life as a Genesis cover band complete with the Peter Gabriel costume changes but got to play Max's providing they did mostly originals. Another act that played CBGB a bit more frequently than Max's called Travan billed themselves as "a progressive rock band for the twentieth century" making me wonder which centuries the other prog acts were playing, and who could forget Chicago's Pentwater who played CBGB and Max's late-'76 and even used a track from their CB's show on their self-produced OUT OF THE ABYSS platter! If any of you have any more information on these or any other prog groups that made it to the stages of these clubs [or photos, tapes or even personal recollections for that matter] please send it along because frankly, we need all of the information we can get before it all fizzles out into the ether! And who knows, I might even like what I hear!)

Of course one of the strangest acts that I've noticed popping up on the local punk circuit (or at least at Max's) was this Boston aggregation that was going by the name of the Walnut Band. Saw their name on two Max's gig listings (considering the gaps I have as far as these gigographies go there may have been more) during the summer and autumn of 1976, one on a five-band packed bill that also featured none other than local hard-rock and Kongress mates Guardian but space rock explorers and probably progs in their own right Master Radio Canaries. A li'l googlin' out of pure curiosity brought up the fact that the Walnuts not only were a "pop" group but had an album out on the Appaloosa label which did stimulate my bean a bit considering how Boston was pumping out good pop acts like Coraopolis PA pumps out unemployment checks. Sounded OK enough to me I'll tell ya. However, further research had me discoverin' that this group was more or less closer to the Grateful Dead than they were the Atlantics, at which point I kinda wondered what the heck was going on since hippie rock never was the forte of the New York underground scene unless you considered the Shirts or Hackamore Brick to be hippies (I didn't).

So yeah, with influences ranging from the Dead to Allman Brothers you could say this group was more suited for Watkin's Glen rather than Max's Kansas City, but how did their home-made effort of an album turn out anyway? Gotta say that frankly, this thing ain't that bad...nothing that would tweak the nodes of your average BLOG TO COMM fanabla but interesting enough to keep you going through at least one spin. Maybe a four out of ten star deal...the Dead references and Allman twin guitar leads do prevail, and although that ain't exactly a selling point when it comes to me parting with my moolah I gotta say that I wasn't offended at all. Maybe the hippie dippyisms weren't as overt as I had expected, though the seventies San Fran vibe does its best to make its way through the boundaries of your headband. Strange that such a prim, proper and downright staid area as Boston could produce a group like this...

In all, this probably ain't that different from a few thou other local psychedelic acts who were selling their records at gigs before dumping 'em off at the local Goodwill. At least another little missing bit of rock esoterica has been uncovered in this great jigsaw puzzle of long gone underground rock history, though once you get down to it couldn't it have been Junior Birdmen instead???

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The Connection-LET IT ROCK CD-r burn (originally on King Yum)

Who woulda ever thunk that power pop would still be up and running here in the 'teens! Of course it's been quite some time since Greg Shaw's famed PP-themed issue of BOMP! made its way to your door, and as far as I can recall the movement didn't congeal that far outside of a small cadre of local moptops and their miniskirt wannabes. But if you were the kinda guy who plunked out the pezoozahs for SHAKE SOME ACTION (even an early import copy!) before it hit the cut out racks like I managed to do given my depression-era wages or met up with the Scruffs, Shoes, Socks or even Suspenders on the basis of a few fanzine articles boy is this the group for you!

Gotta admit that I don't think that the Connection live up to the power and energy of '76 Groovies, nor do I ponder that the same folks who praised Pezband would think as highly of these New Hampshireites as they do Chicago's answer to the Raspberries. But for those of you starved for that seventies take on sixties accomplishment this just might be the group for you. Pretty hotcha rip throughs featuring that floor-stomping midwest-sounding take on Beatledom with a touch of Who, reshaped for a seventies clientele that shoulda prevailed against the fartwind of AOR but never did make it outta the garage. And yeah, like I once said listening to stuff like this in 2013 is kinda akin to my uncle listening to Bix Beiderbecke toons being played on mid-morning PBS, but at this point in time can any of you really care what people think of you anymore???

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Various Artists-SLY DOG SHAKIN' CD-r (compiled by Bill Shute)

Hey, some real surprises here including an early take on the infamous Moving Sidewalks crowd pleaser "99th Floor", Kai Ray's "Trashmen's Blues" (the song where the group got their name from, and I don't mean the Rays!) and the Continental V's "Wake Me Up Girl" which sounds as good here as if did on that FLASHBACK compilation of Texas psychedelia a good thirty years back. As usual the country twang that Bill also included sticks out as much as a hunk of smegma in an Israeli nudist colony, but I guess Bill likes it that way. Also worthy of your ears is Chiyo and the Crusaders' "Pink Dominoes" which was produced by Kim Fowley and which also just might appear on one of those new Norton collections of various rarities from the famed King of the Cagas, but if not its here and you can pick it up for download with the mere flick of a mouse!

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Wolf Eyes-NO ANSWER: LOWER FLOOR CD-r burn (originally on De Stilj)

Not bad a-tall scrounge noise from this long-lived Robert Forward fave (he sent me the disque!), though next to such masters as (former Wolf Eyes collaborators) Smegma this just don't come off as pow'r 'n might. Nice enough free crank that sounds like the attic of  your mind is being cleaned out of old LIFE magazines, and you can just feel the layers of dust being shaken offa your uncle's old World War II uniform as you listen to these guys making sounds akin to a gestating android in the second trimester of transistorized gurgle. But hey, I've listened to many of these post-LAFMS-styled groaners before and, although it makes a fine resensifier, if you have a handfulla the stuff that was being made thirtysome years back it ain't like you have to part with your hard-begged for more of the same! Get it free like I did and save a wad, John!

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The Len Price 3-CHINESE BURNS CD-r burn (originally on Wicked Cool)

Another McGarry power pop burn he obv. deemed important enough for me to hear. Neat enough straight ahead power pop rock, but way too "Little Steven" for me to fully appreciate. Coulda used a little push of somethingorother to make it through the intestinal tract of my listening parameters, perhaps because I feel like I've heard this album throughout the past thirtysome years only it's been issued under different names and on different labels considering that the drive and feeling is unchangingly the same. Otherwise, it's fairly good rock that kinda makes me wanna go down to the radio station and strangle those giggling guys you hear on FM morning drive time as they make the off color remarks in between repeated spins of Journey, so it ain't like a total douse!

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CELLULAR CHAOS CD (ugEXPLODE, try CD Baby for a copy)

Sure seemed like only a few months ago that this whacked out group (featuring Weasel Walter among others) put out a platter, but they have a new 'un anyway and boy is it a crazy affair. Doesn't sound as much Teenage Jesus or Siouxsie (two selling points CD Baby is using to push this one) as it does various mid-eighties underground noise acts, but it sure does its best to destroy all the cells huddled in your ear canals. Female vocals screech over a sonic attack that typified the whole spirit of underground mania, at least before the people in these groups began settling into chi-chi hi-fi living and totally forgot they were supposed to be degenerates in the first place. By the way, ugEXPLODE seems to be in some sort of flux, so if you want this order from CD Baby until the mail label can get themselves back on track.

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Charity Chan/Peter Evans/Tom Blancarte/Weasel Walter-CRYPTOCRYSTALLINE CD (ugEXPLODE, see above for details)

A surprising free jazz outing led by Montreal pianist Chan and her ragtag band which not surprisingly also features ugEXPLODE label head Weasel Walter on drums. A might rage have we here, reminding me of nothing more than a Cecil Taylor Unit Structures session with Chan's piano sounding even more percussive than Taylor's (if you can imaging that!) while trumpeter Peter Evans plays even freer than Ted Curson ever attempted to. Coulda used the new generation's Jimmy Lyons on there (whoever he may be!), but maybe on the next 'un. Burton Greene's inner/outer piano approach also freely comes to mind. This has got all of the energy and tension that I loved in the music way back when packed into it more'n fudge, and if you too mourned the loss of the blare sometime in the early-eighties boy will this put a smile on your face! Gotta give this one all the stars in the world available...one of the best heard by a batch of young upstarts in quite some time.

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See you again, but who knows when...

BOOK REVIEW! A PICTORIAL HISTORY OF VAUDEVILLE by Bernard Sobel, foreword by George Jessel (Citadel Press, 1961)

This book's obviously aimed at a breed that's not just dying, but died out at least a good forty years ago! I mean, I'm sure there are just about as many people out there who are nostalgic for the days of vaudeville as there are people nostalgic for sandpaper toilet tissue, but that didn't stop me from snatching this book up quite a while back. What actually had me parting with a particularly potent double-digit fee for this tome was the fact that A PICTORIAL HISTORY OF VAUDEVILLE featured not only a concise history of the form (dating back to just post-revolution France) but spilled plenty of ink on the main players on the Amerigan scene, and as you'd guess many of the talents who sharpened their talons on the big stage later made it to the big time and it's kinda nice seeing pictures of 'em back when they were nothing but upstart punks.

Of course for me the "big time" means Educational Pictures, and naturally many of the stars of the stage who later performed in front of the cameras are shown here during their days when their main claim to meat was traveling from town to town and honing their skills in front of people who probably didn't know that they were experiencing history in the making. And believe-you-me, for a kid who grew up with the culture of the past via tee-vee and family being pounded more'n the Golden Rule things like the Marx Brothers and Eddie Cantor were historical figures who had just as much star power in my growing up days as they did in my parents and grandparents', and that's no idle chatter!

Naturally the photos presented here (and there are more'n you can believe!) really wow the eyes, from a turn of the century Avon Comedy Four snap featuring longtime faves Smith and Dale to those of future Educational mainstays George Shelton (looking even more screwball than he did at that famed comedy studio), Willie Howard (back when he was teamed with brother Eugene who quit the act to become Willie's manager!), Bert Lahr, Tom Patricola and of course the fantastico Joe Cook, whose infamous Four Hawaiians routine (which he never performed!) is fondly remembered. Of course there are loads more from the Seven Little Foys and Jimmy Durante to future stripper Gypsy Rose Lee in these pages (not to mention a pre-HONEYMOONERS Pert Kelton), and I'm sure even the stodgiest of BLOG TO COMM readers who dare pick this up'll end up feeling like Joe Franklin after lending eyeballs to this collection of old timey pix!

Yes, some of the people spotted here from Fred Astaire to Lahr made it bigger'n most of the now forgottens pictured, but you kinda get the idea that maybe some of these oft-ignored acts were every bit as wowzer as the ones who happened to strike it humongous. If it weren't for the Educational and Columbia shorts some of these stars would probably be lost to all eternity, and for those who weren't lucky enough to score it big in the moom pitchers well...somehow I get the impression that they coulda been just as big as those who did if they only got that big break. That's why I'm thankful for small favors like surviving films and detailed recollections regarding such once-biggies like Bert Williams, a guy who made it humongous on the stage but who probably would have been all but forgotten today if it weren't for a sympathetic mention in W. C. Fields' autobio. Here's one of his two films which were made for the infamous (and by this time on the ropes)  film studio Biograph during their post-D.W. Griffith days: 

And if you have three-and-a-half million to spare, maybe you should be made aware that Joe Cook's legendary haunt Sleepless Hollow is now up for sale. Dunno if the gag furniture and guaranteed hole-in-one "miniature golf" course are still there (the infamous autographed piano and other items have been put up on the auction block long ago), but if you buy the place and suddenly a mystery panel pops up, boy will you be surprised!

Hey, look at what one of my faithful readers sent me! I mean, can you absotively believe it? And I didn't even request that the artist in question draw the thing for me! I really don't know why this faithful follower sent me this caricature of Fred Whazizname, but I get the sneaking suspicion that it was because he sent a similar one to some kiddie tee-vee show when he was six years old and guess what...they didn't put it up for the whole world (or at least the tuned in viewing audience) to see! Well Paul, now your life-long dream to have your picture seen has been fulfilled...hope you're happy after all these years of bitter frustration! Sure better'n that Cal Smith album cover I also got from a fellow fan and follower, that's for sure! And while I'm at it...thanks for the Cee-Dee burns you sent along with the drawing. Might even review some this post if time and sanity permit.

Paul McGarry and his wife (Paul's the one on the left), happy in the knowledge that Paul is finally an officially published artist.

Lessee, what else can I blab about to fill their beaut of a post out even more? Howzbout this...as I type this very paragraph out the United States government has shut down and, although I'm still getting my mail and the cops are still out there catching speeders and all seems biz as usual, a whole load of people have been crybabying about the fact that they can't go to some national monument while poised in front of a whole load of tee-vee cameras as if anyone in their right might would give a shit. All I can say to you World War II vets and geyser lovers out there is"tough turds," to put it mildly!!!! Go to the VFW and drown your sorrows or hang out in your backyard if you wanna see some nature, but the thought of me not having to contribute to your wants and desires (and even needs!) even if it is for a few days does tend to put a smile on my face. I just hope the government stays closed long enough to become irrelevant for good, then maybe us normal people can get back to living our lives without some commentator or politician telling us how much we them as if they were the only thing standing between us and total annihilation!

And now, here's a nice selection of platters I've received as of the past few days, or even weeks for that matter. Some via Bill Shute, others via the aforementioned McGarry, one or two thanks to Tom Gilmore and even one courtesy of Robert Forward! Not forgetting the remnants of a recent Forced Exposure order that I've been nursing 'til my nipples cracked, so while my creative boobies are still lactating here's what's been passing for entertainment at my abode these past few days:

Novak's Kapelle-NAKED LP (Cien Fuego, available through Forced Exposure while supplies last)

Not as much has been written about Austrian underground act Novak's Kappelle as there perhaps should have been, what with the group's downright legendary status as an undigested and wigglin' peanut fragment lodged in the rectum of polite society. Some have compared them to the Who, others the Stooges, but whatever the reference may be it ain't like anyone out there is tootin' the Novak's Kapelle horn the way you thought they would. Maybe the fact they're Austrians has put any downhome serious discussion of the group outside of polite company. Too far outta the loop, and besides you don't see hoards of high energy rock fans bustin' down the barn door to talk about Umela Hmota and everyone knows they're as good as any patented cult group you can think of out there in fandomland only folks ignore 'em because well...I stick up and holler for their cause and who wants to be associated with me even in the slightest!.

But then again, what can you really say about a group that would stick a cover like the one repro'd above onto one of their platters? So tasteless that makes those early-seventies Rare Earth offerings like WILLIE REMEMBERS look classy in comparison! Really, I like the un-draped female form as much as the guy in the raincoat next to you at the moom pitchers, but dontcha think these ladies are whatcha'd call a little too ripe for consumption??? I mean, what is this supposed to be, members of the Jack Benny Fan Club on a "nature camp" outing, or perhaps the last two surviving members Hitler's Honeys getting ready to entertain at an SS convention? I know that people have been using ingenious methods (read: s-x) to try and sell albums for years on end, but ya gotta admit that this is a far cry from those early-sixties jazz albums that your Uncle Ferd used to sneak a peek at during one of his frequent trips to the record shop!

I wish I could say more about the sounds to be found herein for that matter but really, I didn't think that the sounds of NAKED were anything that would pique the attention of the average BLOG TO COMM reader let alone a guy like me whose musical tastes never were as "horse-blindered" as my critics make 'em out to be. If anything the music made on this platter is half-there pop rock with the expected punkian overtones that do approach intelligence and verve, but comes off like one of those platters that will take at least a good ten spins before it finally sinks in.

Nothing wrong with that, but as far as my initial impression goes NAKED shoulda been worked out a bit more with some of the more commercial edges (such as the femme background singers) lopped off and the production dirtied up a bit. Then it mighta sounded like that lost Stooges album I was kinda hopin' it to be, but as it stands I find NAKED about as representative of unfulfilled potential as the rest of them mid/late-seventies good tries in the power pop and punk spheres that coulda done it, but somehow didn't. Ain't givin' up on either the album or Novak for that matter, even if I don't think I'd wanna hear the guy's new wave paen to Farrah Fawcett in a millyun years! As for NAKED, ask me in a few months and maybe I'll tell you a different story...y'see, unlike Ernest T. Bass I do chew my cabbage twice!

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ROB JO STAR BAND CD (Born Bad)

Yep this infamous obscurity has once again been reissued for all of you people who splurged on the previous reissue, and this time it looks as if it's the legal deal! And Born Bad did a fantastico job of it as well, with understandable liner notes (written by UGLY THINGS's Lawrence Bigot), rare snaps and a pretty clear sound that really brings out the garage-level recording nuances. Speaking of sound, the group come off really teenage here, almost like Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers on a New York Dolls fixation after listening to Edgard Varese albums. Even after one listen you can tell that these guys ranked up there with Mahogany Brain, Red Noise and Dogon as heirs to the French Velvet Underground tag no doubt about it! A must have especially in these jaded times when all of the real good stuff happened over forty years back!

One caveat...the bonus tracks included really don't live up to the group's fullest potential and maybe shoulda been kept under wraps a little longer. You may not care, but whatever you do don't listen to these numbers first because they might tamper with your own preconceived notions regarding cult-status early-seventies punk rockers who were brainy enough to include home-made cheap electronic buzzes in their primitive yet enthralling originals. Otherwise a powerful, evocative and downright peen-age platter.

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Agali Ag Amounine-TAKAMBA CD-r burn (originally on Sahel Sounds, then Bandcamp)

Another one from the Tom Gilmore collection, this time from a guy whose (sub-Saharan) African musical roots had me doing even more research than the time when I was ten and I hadda crank out a term paper on the Civil War. Electrified ngoni player Amounine creates a "hypnotic" (to use the same word 1000 rockcrit types have been utilizing as of late) drone-on music that I will admit is similar to many of these Third World alienated from the rest of mankind musical movements who still act and breathe as if it were BC days. He also does a good enough job of it that you coulda imagined this to be a top bed-hop spin in the college dorms of late-sixties Ameriga the same way John Fahey was with that hot blare he produces! Does what all of those minimalist composers of the eighties sure wished they could've done, with way lower overhead to boot. Pretty reet though that one track with the kids singing scared me---for some strange reason I kinda get the feeling that in a few years each 'n every one of 'em is gonna bomb us!

All realistic fears aside, if you liked those Group Inerane releases that Sublime Frequencies released a few years back you might find this a stripped down addition to your late-evening NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC reading sessions...just don't spend too many hours starin' at them hula gals' boobs like I tend to do though or you'll go blind!

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Kraftwerk-LIVE AT EBBETS FIELD IN DENVER, MAY 20, 1975 LP (B 13, Russian Federation)

A little too late in the game but interesting enough. Side one features Ralf, Florian and the rest entertaining a small yet appreciative audience who were probably at Ebbets to see opening act Greenslade (I remember rumors regarding Greenslade's roadies getting into fights with Kraftwerk's throughout the tour...must've been a kultural thing). Sound is kinda wooshy as if the recording used was picked up from a radio station two hours away but still strong enough to entertain, and you'll be surprised to hear that I thought their renditions of popular numbers from not only the AUTOBAHN but RALF UND FLORIAN albums were unique enough to make the originals sound staid in comparison. Whether or not that would warrant you wanting to purchase this platter is strictly up to you.

The side-long "Autobahn" was recorded live in Koln a couple months earlier and sounds close enough to the original to the point where (considering the use of electronics and pre-recorded tapes) they coulda just mimed to the album and nobody would have noticed. Nothing particularly special here but if you were one to bop to the "Autobahn" groove during the spring of 1975 I get the feeling you might want to pick this one up. The rest of us would do better to stick with early Can and Amon Duul offerings which at least had that spark of punk snarl mixed in with the Stockhausen.

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Various Artists-ENGLAND DON'T RULL ME!!! CD-r burn (compiled by Bill Shute)

At a period in time when I thought that the six-oh garage band font had been run dry and holed up for good, Bill comes up with his own NUGGETS of rare Amerigan garage band sides that somehow missed all of the previous cullings that ended up on those eighties-era albums that were going for upwards of $25 a pop. There's nothing of what you would call "Earth Shattering" or " Life Reaffirming" here but it's still snat enough, loaded with cheap teenbo groups who probably never got outta the grange hall with their musings but eh, we're all the richer for these sides and don't you forget it!

If you like the BACK FROM THE GRAVE series of cheap early punk drool you might go for these, though be warned they just ain't as gnarly. The songs here come closer to the suburban slobs who frequented the SHUTDOWN 66 batch of garage band groovers---the kids from Nowheresville who were so out of even the "out-of-the-loop" crowd at high school that getting an electric guitar outta the 1965 Sears catalog as a Christmas present was the stepping stone to fame, fortune and maybe even a running gig at Arnie's Bowl-A-Rama!

Loadsa goodies here with the likes of the Cadds, Statics, Jacemen and Romans helping to rock away your everyday pains. Personal faves include the Minute Men standing up for Amerigan pride 'n somethingorother as they warn us to "Please Keep the Beatles in England," while the Conchords produce a double-sided whammy with their tasteful covers of "Telstar" and "Little Black Egg"! And how could I forget the sounds of ranch house USA going socially conscious with the Young Men singing about "A Young Man's Problem" which I believe refers to the Vietnam War and the draft if I do say so myself. Maybe they put this on the "b" side because the flip was a cover of Rosie and the Originals' 1960 weeper "Angel Baby" and like, that was considered ancient history by the time the wild and tres-hippified late-sixties rolled around!

Great job Bill. I know this doesn't make you the new Greg Shaw, but then again who has the wherewithal these days to be the new Bill Shute (I know, we still have the old one and he's working out just fine!).

***

The Bizarros-COMPLETE COLLECTION 1976-1980 CD-r burn (originally on Windian Records)

Yet another from the Tom Gilmore collection, and what a collection this 'un has turned out to be. I've been a fan (albeit a tad belated-like, money concerns y'know) of the Bizarros ever since I heard their blistering track entitled "Nova" on the Stiff Records Akron sampler. Almost bought "It Hurts Janey" from the same record shop Miriam Linna used to scarf used platters from shortly after (didn't have enough money so it got jettisoned along with the latest NEW YORK ROCKER), and definitely did buy their Mercury album as soon as a copy hit the local National Record Mart racks about a year or so later if I do recall. Yes guys, I'm the one that bought your album when it was fresh in the shops, and I didn't even wait for it to go cutout like I was usually wont to do during those depression-era wage days. Just thought ya'd like to know.

This comp has been out for a couple years already, but once again lack of finances (oooh that real life!) and a memory like a sieve kept me from getting a copy into my obviously sweaty palms...until now, that is. I guess Gilmore didn't see any reviews of this with my name attached to it so he figured I was in need of a copy, and you know he was right. And hey, if anybody deserves to review this its just gotta be a guy who first discovered the Bizarros via the AKRON alhum and didn't have enough money for the "It Hurts Janey" single though managed to plunk down full price for the Mercury album once it hit the local record shop bins.

As far as I can tell it's nearly all here...the early singles, the tracks from the split LP with the Rubber City Rebels,  and a good portion of the Mercury album. Since I'm not a Bizarros scholar (and didn't get any booklet notes or whatever with this burn) I'm kinda in the dark about what's what as far as the LP stuff goes, but I can tell you that the AKRON sampler version of "Nova" ain't here which is too bad (the group considered it a throwaway for an album that they thought was a subpar cash-in on post-Devo British rock press mania) and come to it, neither is the take of the same song the group did while they were still called the Eyes and trekked into a studio December '75 under the influence of their good friend and general tastemaker Peter Laughner.

But what did  pop up here is more than enough to sate the late-seventies underground rock fan in us all, that side which really went whole hog for these neu-punk groups and supported and fostered 'em to the ends of the earth only to get let down horribly once 1980 rolled around and these groups either broke up or mutated into commercial feelygood poopsters that embarrassed us all to heck. And as far as the late-seventies U.S. of Whoa punksters go these guys had it all...not only did they have hefty roots in the mid-sixties NUGGETS brand of AM-radio transistor popping hard rock (as the distorto cover of "Talk Talk" would attest to) but a whole slew of hotcha seventies underground cheapbin faveraves from Beefheart on down to the sainted Velvet Underground themselves (Terry Walker's viola might not be as drone-filled as John Cale's but he served the same purpose in the Bizarros that the guy who played violin in Umela Hmota 3 served in his group!). Even the energy and power of early Pere Ubu back when Laughner was a member can be discerned, and I really am thankful that all of the tracks do hold up even if some seem like they shoulda been worked on a bit before being presented to the public. At least as far as I can tell the Bizarros never went "gnu wave" like so many of their compatriates, ifyaknowaddamean...

I guess there must be thousands of copies of this collection cluttering up the warehouses of amerindieville because I see it for sale a whole lotta places on the web. Anyway, I do declare that this package is one that's just gotta be stuck inside your collection if you consider yourself a fan and follower of late-seventies Amerigan u-ground post-Velvet spasms (and who reading this, even if you're one of my enemies spying on me in order to swipe ideas, isn't?). And while you're at it, howzbout reading the Bizarros website and getting an idea of what the long-reformed band is up to here in the teens at a time when they should all be enjoying the benefits of retirement and watching old tee-vee shows all day like I plan to do. Just click here and maybe you can say howdy while you're at it.

***

The Miller Sisters-PLEASE MR. DISC JOCKEY CD-r burn (originally on Famous Groove, France)

Classic gal group sounds from an act that I believe consisted of the daughters of the president of the Hull Record Company in New York City. Well, that's one way to get on a label as Neil Norman coulda told ya, and from what is revealed on this platter the sisters cranked out at least thirty wild rockers that really typify the 1958-1963 gal group season with typical gusto. Wish I had more info on this act which holds up pretty good especially in these anti-move and groove times since the lead Miller has a great vox whether doing smooth leads or a growly sound that comes off like a lesbian downing some pork rib bones sideways. And as we've known all along, you don't have to be an aged record collecting hobbyist who hasn't left the basement since the last Richard Nader revival show to appreciate music like this, though sometimes I believe it would help out quite a bit.

***

Sky Needle-DEBASED SHAPES LP (skyneedle.org )

Fresh from the post office's this bizzaraty that was recorded by a group that actually made all of their own instruments! If you think that this act is something like those wacky early-sixties instrumental groups whose members actually crafted their guitars and drums in their high school woodshop class you are mistaken, because Sky Needle's wares are what you would call extremely "unconventional" electronics, string things and percussives that have a rather non-traditional clank to 'em. They even make the Junkyard Band on FAT ALBERT sound like Miles. Top that off with a femme vocalist who sing-songs around the resultant spew like that gal on the boffo LEAD SHOES soundtrack and you'll be halfway there. Nothing that really grabs hold of my attention the way similar home-made electronic or outsider recordings might have over the past few decades, but you gotta admit it's one that will separate the true lovers of pure grating sound from the pretenders!

***

The Kinks-ANOTHER GREAT LOST KINKS ALBUM CD-r bootleg burn (originally on Eye)

Yeesh, yet another unsolicited surprise that I found in my mailbox, this one courtesy Robert Forward who I guess is bucking for an extra-special Christmas present this year! And he certainly deserves one for having the mental hoo-hah to know enough to send a top notcher like this my way, even if I've never been a part of the Kinks kadre the same way Edgar Breau, Jymn Parrett and other people who might not even be of Canadian heritage have been for years on end!

But national origins aside, this is a particularly good selection for the kasual Kinks listener like myself. The early tee-vee performances sound just as vital now as they must have for millions of peenagers tuned in to SHINDIG way back when, and best of all these tracks capture the group at their rawest with 'em even sounding outta tune and hitting a clinker or two! The various BBC sessions and tee-vee appearances come off snat too, and as you hear the group transform from a hard punky act to a matured arbiter of taste before your very ears you'll feel like you're experiencing rock history first-hand! And who knows, you too may shed a tear like I did during the 1972 television performance of "Waterloo Sunset" despite the fact that you probably hated the Kinks during their brass band period as much as some Kinks aficionados I've known have claimed they have for ages!

If you can find it download the thing, or just make sure you have a big buddy out there who'll burn wonders like this to his big hearted content! And Bob, watch your mailbox for something nice around the Yuletide Season, that is unless I forget to send it off like I am wont to do most of the time!

***

Various Artists-STRUMMIN' MENTAL, PART ONE CD-r burn (originally on Crypt)

This one sure brings back memories, not of the Golden Age of Rock 'n Roll Instrumentals but of picking up hotcha collections of rarities such as the kind found on this platter throughout the eighties! I already have the originals neatly stacked in my record collection elsewhere, but considering the time and trouble it takes to move heaping piles of albums this small spinner does come in handy for lazyass me. Hot non-vocalized spins from the 1958-1965 season that are sure to dredge up plenty of ranch house UHF-TV memories with all of those beyond-obvious swipes of Link Wray, the Wailers and Johnny and the Hurricanes! Not to mention some original moves these kids were able to come up with. A fine testament to the glory days of youth long before it all tumbled into an abyss of double-digit IQ decadence.

***

Cyril Jordan w/Gordon Waller-FEB 15th 2002 PALO ALTO, CA CD-r burn (courtesy of the same guy who sent me the Fred Flintstone picture above)

Dunno where Paul got this 'un from, but  whoever he got it from really messed up with the track listings! Iffy-quality live recording of ex- and future Flamin' Groovie Cyril Jordan live with his then-group the Fiendish Thingies, here joined by none other than Peter and Gordon's own Gordon Waller adding his own special vocal talents!

Now, I must admit that I always thought that Gordon was a guy who was part of one of the wimpiest acts to come out of the British Invasion (and certainly not as good as their doppelgangers Chad and Jeremy who at least made straight-ahead pop rockers I can enjoy) but Jordon obviously thought otherwise, and I guess that because Jordan likes the guy he's now cool enough in my book too! I get that way sometimes.

Good enough smattering of Groovies originals and covers done their way, and Waller does a snat job singing along with these garage busters to the point where I can't fault him for his previous incarnation as part of one of the wussiest acts to come out of the British Invasion. Well at least he didn't end up producing Linda Ronstadt and hanging around with the coke and cause Laurel Canyon cadre,or at least I hope he didn't. Aw shucks, why can't I just settle back 'n ENJOY this thing w/o thinking up all sortsa excuses to justify me liking something I'm not supposed to like, or should like even though I'm not supposed to, or something. After all it ain't like I have to curry favor with Gerard Cosloy anymore!

***

I got loads more to tell ya about, but I think I'll save 'em for the next go 'round lest I run out of material! See you later, masturbater!

BOOK REVIEW! AUNT BEE'S MAYBERRY COOKBOOK by Ken Beck and Jim Clark, with recipes edited by Julia M. Pitkin (Rutledge Hills Press, 1991)

As any book store or flea market peddler can tell you, it's sure tough as the dickens to dump old cookbooks unless you happen to come across a chubboid homebody gal or flitzy homo wanting to try a new turn with the old quiche recipe. But this 'un's different, a cook book dedicated to none other than the eating habits that were to be found on the all time boffo tee-vee series THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW. Considering how the denizens of Mayberry seemed to be either chomping down pepperelli pizza or ordering goodies at the diner every chance they could get it's a wonder they weren't all as rotundus as Otis Campbell, but considering the mouth-watering delights this book comes up with you couldn't say that the citizenry weren't trying.

To be honest about it, most of the recipes found in this book have nada to do with the show other'n incorporating some sorta character or locale in its name. Still you could imagine something along the lines of "Checkpoint Chicken Pan Pie" or "Golden Door Baked Macaroni and Cheese" emanating from the kitchen of Aunt Bee or even her bitchy nemesis Clara Edwards. And naturally if you want to spend Tuesday night with your significant other of the opposite sex watching the doctor shows there's a good recipe for cashew fudge just like the kind Thelma Lou woulda made. And I'm positive that the concoction mentioned as "Barney's Hot Plate Chili" tastes just as good as the stuff the deputy was cooking up at the time Mrs. Mendelbright tossed him out on his ear.

So even if the editors hadda stretch this book out with cute sounding concoctions that I doubt would've ever come out of Mayberry, you kinda get the idea that even Johnny Paul Jason wouldn't've turned down a bowl of Judd's Broccoli Cheese Soup that's how good this grub can get!

And as we all know, the best recipies are the ones which have goo and other remnants of a hotcha cooking session splattered all over them, so if that's any indication of greatness you'll just wanna try to make a batch of "Juanita's Ginger Cookies," or maybe even "Howie Pruitt's Supreme Chocolate Chip Cookies" since some of the gunk got plopped on the opposite side of the page as well.

Just so this book doesn't seem like a total coasting on one good idea various cast member and folk associated with the show submitted some of their own special recipes. Of course I gotta say that the compilers were stretching it a bit by calling noted actor James Best, who played guitar slinging jailbird Jim Lindsey in a couple of early episodes a cast member, but he even submitted an entry for this compilation. Funny, considering Best's portrayal as a pretty mean mofugger in the moom pitcher ROLLING THUNDER I woulda assumed he'd'a contributed a recipe for ground baloney sandwiches! But sick jokes aside, if you wanna try "Rafe's Red River Catfish Fry" (submitted by Rafe Hollister, or in this case actor Jack Prince), "Doug's Great White Beans" (via Doug Dillard!), "Miss Crump's Gold Star Gazpacho" (via Anita Coursaut) or even "Thelma Lou's Oyster Stew" feel free to know that your fave actors like to whoop it up in the kitchen just as much as the rest of us. And hey, if you can find a hoot owl you just might wanna try some neet offerings courtesy none other than Briscoe and Charlene Darling (page 136)!

YET ANOTHER FANZINE FANABLA!

Perhaps in honor of last Wednesday's reviews of UGLY THINGS and FLASHBACK (but then again, perhaps not), here's a list of the old timey fanzines that I have been reading and even enjoying these past few months. Of course this edition just ain't as jambus-packtus with the classic Golden Age of Fanzoonies as I hoped it would have been...frankly there just ain't as many good enough 'zines making their way to my door like there should be, but as usual I make do with what I have little as it may be. Hopefully the stack of rags I've accrued over the past thirtysome years will have enough energy and spiritual zing to keep me going long after the rest of you forget who Phast Phreddie is, though I doubt it.

Although these rare and outta print fanzines have been about as easy to come by as ravioli at a testimonial dinner for Lindsay Hutton my never-ending efforts to locate, digest and relay to you all of the boffo fanzines of the past I missed out on the first time 'round lurches on. Anyway, here are the 'zines (each and every one!) that I managed to get hold of since the last Fanzine Fanabla whenever that was. And although these mags are now beyond the realm of ancient and much of the information that can be found in 'em has probably been disseminated repeatedly throughout the years, I must say that the general effort, sweat, toil and funzies that went into each 'n every one really makes these something that I can relate to in a down home, suburban slob sorta way. Well, at least relate to a whole lot more'n I could reading Chuck Eddy goshie-goo over some eighties indie single he probably found to be "heavy metal" enough to blab about in that dire CREEM METAL ROCK 'N ROLL column of his, but that's another gripe.

***

Starting off this edition is an addition to my collection which I believe will snuggle up nicely against all of the BOMPs and NEW HAVEN ROCK PRESSes that are boxed up in my closet and crawlspace with all the rest of the bodies. As you would have guessed, I first heard of ROCK "N" ROLL STAR via the pages of BOMP! and figured it out to be yet another one of many teen mags that was probably put out by some girl in one of those New York suburbs who was heavily into glitter...after all with features on Bowie, the Sweet, Wayne County and Nazz I kinda pictured the editress of the 'un to be some ranch house pimplezit princess who had nothing better to do in her spare time than wax poetic about her fave rock 'n' roll bands and look over her dogeared collection of 16 magazine for solace in an age of disco. Just the kind of girl you'd want to go out with, just don't let the inner thigh rash get to you.

Imagine my surprise when I found out that the editress was actually an editor, and it was none other than the infamous Jimi Lalumia of Psychotic Frogs fame! Naturally that would explain the Wayne County article. Thusly said, ROCK "N" ROLL STAR is about as good as you could hope it to be, just chock fulla that funtime teenage energy and excitement with a layout that reminds me of the first two issues of KICKS not to mention a slew of boffo seventies fanzines that seemed to fizzle out the same time the music they were covering did.

After pouring through this 'un a few times I'm kinda disappointed that it didn't get out to the general fanzine public like it should have (dunno if they even made it to issue #2!) because this is something a fanzine should be, or shall I say many fanzines were before they somehow got infected with decadent smarm and piousness once the eighties crept in and nothing really has been the same in the once-wonderful world of small press shenanigans since.

Nothing presented in these pages is what'cha'd call stop the presses mind-expanding, but I like the layout, the look and the feel of it at least to the point where an observer could easily say that this was one of the better, if in fact more important fanzines to come out of the seventies. The second-string 'zines true, but that don't mean ROCK "N" ROLL STAR's something to immediately poo-poo. Reviews of records current (a John Gamble, who may be the same one who played with Lou Rone in a variety of groups, reviews KGB and Boxer's BELOW THE BELT, the US version w/o the nekkid gal getting it in the patch) and old (Lalumia on the Seeds' "Can't Seem to Make You Mine") permeate, once again showing just where a lotta rock tastes were huddlin' back in a time when the music scene wasn't really as bad as some retropunks make it out to be. Lalumia's review of Patti Smith's "Gloria"/"My Generation" has to be one of the best, fannish writeups I've read in quite some time---almost reads as if I was talking to someone about it at the time as he spewed forth his own mid-teen addled if on-point feelings toward it not knowing if to hate it for its rough edges or love it for its power, the latter fortunately winning!

And while I'm at it I should also mention that theses guys had a pretty good rock auction section set up which always gave a good indication of where the under-the-counterculture rock mindset stood during the mid-seventies. If you wanna see how much those now-expensive singles you so desire woulda cost you a good thirty-eight years back look no further...and eat your heart out while yer at it!

***

Here's another that's eluded my grasp for quite some time even though I had the opportunity to buy an (overpriced) faded xerox copy back in 1981 when a whole buncha BOMP! back issues were run off and peddled via their still-amazing catalogs. Maybe the thought of those musical morons the Osmonds being pictured on the cover turned me off (and yeah I know that some of you consider "Crazy Horses" a heavy metal wonder and "Goin' Home" a pop masterpiece but frankly I would only if I were being musically starved), but a good thirty-two years later I finally had the opportunity to buy an original copy of issue #6 (Spring 1971) and even though I'm like thirtysome bux poorer for it the thing does lighten up my fanzine collection if only a tad bit.

Nothing what I would call punkitudinal appears in this issue, but it does serve a fanzine freakazoid like myself well with 39 pages of 1971-focused rock fandom writing. Included are Metal Mike Saunders with a few pages on his favorite Del Shannon trackage not to mention a rundown of the then-current rock mags both pro and fan complete with little funny cartoons encapsulating the spirit of each created by Jonh Ingham himself! The reviews of current albums and singles both fresh, reish and old are always good tips for whether or not you wanna buy some long-ignored item, plus the list of then-forgotten garage band acts on page nine ("Prelude to an Inventory of the Sixties") will probably remind many of you about how hungry you were for high energy rock music at the time and even a mention of the Seeds would have you reading their name over and over thinking...sheesh, my favorite forgotten band isn't that forgotten after all! Even at this early stage it was proven than nothing could stop the shape of things to come, even if it didn't come all over the place like it shoulda.

***

I don't recall exactly where I first heard about INTERPHASE. It might have been in the pages of THE ROCK MARKETPLACE or BOMP! for that matter, but what I did read about it made it sound like a rather entertaining project even if I'm not exactly champing at the bit to read any more articles on either Queen or Genesis in my lifetime. When I finally found a lead on an ish of this newsprint publication boy was I hot on snatching it up, especially when you consider just how much you'll find small heretofore unknown information on your fave acts in publications like this that somehow seemed to bypass all of the big rags you thought would be on top of it all when it came to scoops. But then again when was the last time you read about Gerry Roslie in ROLLING STONE, eh? (Don't tell me, he finally got a sentence of mention in some ish recently, right? Still don't make STONE a rock mag any more than PLAYBOY is a bastion for the Clean Minds Committee.)

INTERPHASE kinda reminds me of THE SHAKIN' STREET GAZETTE in its mid-seventies college target audience kind of way. Maybe they could have become a midwest variation on the SSG style with a snide rock approach that mimicked CREEM more than it did STONE. It was a nice try though I don't think it quite came up to the levels of a SHAKIN' STREET, even with new metallic wunderkind Aerosmith on the cover and a hotcha interview with Black Oak Arkansas' Jim Dandy conducted by none other than the backbone of the GULCHER enterprise, namely Bob Richert, Ken Highland and Eddie Flowers.

I wouldn't exactly call those particular pieces the "highlights" of this ish, but I do think that Cary Baker's article on Wayne Kramer's "new" MC5 was interesting even if it showed Kramer to be a guy cashing in on his old group's fame and seemingly rather jaded with the business after years of bitter struggle. Flowers gets to lay down some news (along with a hot snap!) on Creme Soda who had just released their "I'm Chewin' Gum" single and were in the process of swinging TRICKY ZINGERS our way. Dave Newberger gives us fair warning about the Dictators going girl crazy on us as well. Of course there's also loads of stuff on the local folk music scene, Bruce Springsteen's newie, Triumvrat saying that they have nothing in common with ELP and some fiction, but nobody's sayin' that ya hafta read all that! Bleeb over it, like I did!

INTERPHASE, a fanzine that's at least for the archives, and a better'n you'd expect 'un at that! Now if someone would only forward me a copy of INTERPHASE contributor Claire Panke's PREHENSILE TONGUE???

***

Unlike many readers out there in fandomland whom I guess couldn't be bothered, I used to rave about the various contributions of one Nancy Foster that permeated the various fanzines of the late-seventies/early-eighties stratum. Heck-it-all, but I would be lying if I told you that I didn't enjoy reading Foster's various scribblings that were appearing with an alarming regularity at the time in the pages of everything from FFANZEEN to THE NEW YORK ROCKER...her style was straightforward and fannish in the Miriam Linna mode, and more talk-to-you than the talk-AT-you that was so common not only then but (especially) now or at least in what's left of today's "rock critiquing" world. Not only that, but Foster's overall demeanor and likability were so honest-to-goodness that and true blue rock 'n roll fan would read every word that gal laid to paper even if they didn't really care enough for the act that she was lending praise to, that's how good she was in a way only a few other music scribes could ever hope to be.

I managed to latch onto two issues of her early-eighties GROOVE ASSOCIATES fanzine at the time they were published, and those have remained lasting favorites to the point where they even got the lead mention in the "Fanzine Fanabla" column that appeared in the last issue of my own personal crudzine. However, issues of her original mid/late-seventies publication NEW AGE had remained out of my grasp despite frantic searches throughout the rock scribeosphere, leading to much frustration on my part at least until now. Y'see, after all these years I've finally managed to latch onto a copy which as you might guess have made me a very happy camper here in the wilds of unbridled fandom...you really don't know just how thrilled I am now that I have an issue of this elusive 'zine to my name because this 'zine really captures everything I loved about the late-seventies/early-eighties fanzine scene within its thirty some pages of pure teenage pulse!

Good idea of Foster putting none other'n Mickey Dolenz on the cover of this June '79 issue* considering what an eye-opener the interview conducted with him most truly is, what with Dolenz actually admitting that all he ever did while in the Monkees was marijuana and booze and how he's been clean for three years! (Something I'm sure many observers on the scene would tend to disagree with.) The layout is similar to GROOVE ASSOCIATES with that typed out at the library look and feel not that different from COWABUNGA or even the early WHO PUT THE BOMP, not to mention the rest of those rock fanzines who were aping the classic Sci Fi fanzine style right down to the wide margins. Writing is simple, fun and real suburban ranch house to the point where you might thunk this was put out by that loudmouth Irish bitch who lived two houses down from ya whose older sister you used to watch sunbathing in the backyard while playing TROUBLE (the pop-o-matic game) with yerself because nobody else wanted to. And if you want you can edit that sentence to give it an entirely new and dirty meaning, if you so desire!

Good enough that even the Generation X review holds you attention, and of course the standard Count Viglione hype which always made these fanzines extra-oomph-like appears making you wonder why the guy never did become as big a star as we all thought he would've. Of course the local scene report (in this case regarding North Carolina) might not appeal to you given how none of the groups mentioned ever seemed to go anywhere, but it's still neat finding out that there actually were bands covering the Flamin' Groovies for people whose musical tastes tended not to veer too far from Kansas and Christopher Cross! (And there's a lotta whining and moaning about the sad state of rock that permeated the late-seventies, a time when we thought it couldn't get worse until the eighties, nineties, oughts and teens rolled in! Glad to see that I wasn't the only crybaby yearning for a return to rock 'n roll aesthetics around.)

Fanzines like this mighta seemed like a dime-a-dozen back in them dayze, but now that they're rarer'n white people in Detroit they mean all the more to rockist stompers like myself. NEW AGE was definitely one of the better "personalist" fanzines of the time, and naturally I am going to make it a life's mission to track down as many of these as I can if only to resensify myself after being inundated with the perils and pratfalls of (shudder!) real life. A hot one to have and to hold, but if only Foster coulda had this 'un printed on both sides of the page 'stead of wasting all that space (anal retentive budget/space-conscious turd I may be....) maybe it wouldn't have taken up so much space in my closet...

***

It is pretty much common knowledge that BREAKFAST WITHOUT MEAT was perhaps "thee" best fanzine to make its way outta the eighties avalanche of all sorts of home-produced rock reads both stellar and crap-like. That's why I find it my sworn doody to latch onto just as many back issues of the rag that I wasn't lucky enough to get back when I discovered the thing during this publication's final days (which earned it a nice li'l mention, cover and all, in one of the early mega-paged issues of my own crudzine around 1990 way). This issue (# 8) was one of many that I never was able to get my mitts on back when I first started collecting it, and now that I have all I gotta say is that it's a rather slimy piece of junk that I know we could all do without.

Actually it's pretty hotcha stuff, though (if you ask me, and why not?) I woulda preferred it if there were more of Gobo the Plastic Pain Clown's reviews in it not forgetting the usual surrealist fantasy 'n pokes at the snootier aspects of fandom that kept the issues I already had more'n afloat. But this one doesn't quite cut the ol' caga, and that's got me sad. But one thing it does prove, with all of the interviews dealing with the creem of the SST crop, is that this particular label was host to some of the most unbalanced nutcases this world has ever seen! I don't think anybody who worked for or who was on that label was sane in the legal or religious sense and if there's ever a case for somebody to shoot Mike Watt or Derek Bostrom it's to be found in these pages!!!!! And people think I could use a nice weekend at the lobotomy farm!

***

CREEP was one of the many fanzines popping outta the late-seventies/early-eighties fertile groundswell of punk rock mutating into its bastid offspring gnu wave and hardcore back in that period in time we call the seventies. And although I now have very little interest in this particular city not to mention its role in this particular period in rock I must say that the Flamin' Groovies and Alex Chilton front cover come on had me bidding a whopping $9.99 for this issue (#4) when it popped up on ebay a short while back. And you know what? I actually won a copy which is more than I can say about that $79.63 bid for an issue of HOOPLA that unfortunately slid outside of my grasp!

Consisting of forty-eight newsprint pages dated 1980, CREEP resembles something akin to the future MAXIMUM ROCKNROLL  which would figure, since not only were both from San Francisco but Tim Yohannon was listed as an "honorary staff member" and you kinda get the idea that if this mag had continued on for a few years it woulda become another MRR rip! Goodniz knows we've had way too many during those turbulent times, so maybe it was providence that the rag up and died when it did now, dontcha think?

As far as I can tell CREEP makes it on the Chilton interview even though it's obvious that the last thing the guy wanted to do at this time was consent to one, while the Groovies piece does shed some light on Cyril Jordan's tastes in early-eighties SF acts and let's just say that the likes of Tuxedomoon and Pink Section were not high on his list. A bit on the Brian Eno/Robert Fripp collaborations and the use of the studio as an instrument was passable, but rather out of place in this company. Other'n that the Angry Samoans blabbing about hardcore as the natural outgrowth of early-seventies metallic epiphanies was the only other really attention grabbing thing here...the rest consists of patented local group pieces and early political theorizing on punk turf (with casual references to Lester Bangs' "White Noise Supremacists" article and Julius Lester!) that would eventually find its apex with the Yohannon gang's valiant attempts to corner the punk consciousness market a few brief years later. Well, it coulda been worse with screeds just brimmin' fulla patented politico rants and neo-hippie jargoning that we were inundated with back then under the guise of political correctness, so maybe my investment wasn't totally in vain.

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You can bet your bottom dollar (or even your own bottom if you are of that "persuasion") that any fanzine that slaps a snap of Lester Bangs on its cover is gonna grab my attention the same way a two-year-old turdler goes after Mister Weiner! Yeah, I had the sneaking suspicion that there would be nada mention of Bangs on the inside of this "Summer 2004" issue of VINYL A GO GO, but the thought that the guy still had some relevance to a rock generation that was slowly sliding into the abyss did warm the cockles of my heart and if anything needs warming up my days its my heart cockles (ow!). Perhaps the presence of Lester on the front indicates that this fanzine was perhaps "influenced" by the long-reaching spirit of the famed rock scribe which allegedly lives on well into even these dark days of anti-rock sentiment both far and wide, and if you think I'm gonna be a sucker for passing this 'un up you're probably crazy enough to be still waiting for your cassette tapes from Charles Ackers to arrive!

Naturally there ain't even a mention of Bangs in the pages of VINYL A GO GO, but you could consider the innards an awkward if heartfelt tribute to his good deeds. Editor Lew Houston (who may or may not still live at 135 Wapwallopen Rd., Nescoperk PA 18635) might not have been as devoted to the cause of Bangs' memory as Tim Ellison was in his own late 'n lamented ROCK MAG, but some of the spirit and perhaps even deviance of Bangs does seem to manifest itself in a 21st century "slacker" way. I guess that is better than no way at all, at least if you're of  a Bangian persuason.

Lotsa personal ranting (some which even comes off interesting!) and raves on then-current groups I gave up on ages back that I may or may not remember (the Riff Randalls, Panty Raid, Charlie Brown Gets a Valentine...) show up, and some of this reads rather good even if their subject matter might not (or perhaps even might) be worthy of the praise.

True there's lotsa personal rants and jive that pop up here not to mention the obligatory paens to down pat progressive social causes, but its all worth it if only to make your way to a mention of the Troggs. And it's even spirited amid the sometime gloomy downer approach! It's also the print arm of the www.vinylagogo.com conglomeration which is centered around a web address that's now up for sale so if you're itchin' for a copy the best bet's ebay.

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Probably one of the more obscure and downright interesting fanzines that I've had the opportunity to read as of late has been UN CERTAIN ROCK (!) FRANCAIS, a rag devoted to French underground rock, or fringe progressive if you prefer, which is mostly made up of press clippings and other flotsam related to a wide range of French groups that I will admit look interesting enough even if I have the feeling most of 'em sound kinda like warmed-over yogurt to use an old DOBIE GILLIS catchphrase. But given that I'm the kinda guy who will attempt to sate my own rockist obsessions whenever and wherever I can (in this case look for more important refs. re. acts ranging from the Velvet Underground to Stooges in the most obscure places extant) I find it an exhilarating experience combing through the French language text in search of mentions of these and other acts that influenced the better moments of rock at large. Or at least took what could have been a dippy local longhair group and gave 'em enough zap to make them proto-punky enough that empty-headed music maniacs looking for a hook'll latch onto 'em like snap!

There's more'n enough French obscurity mixed with the better-honed to wade through here including heaps on Gong (with and without Daevid), AME Son (worthy of re-evaluation), Heldon and the French branch of the Rock In Opposition movement which always seemed to come up with more'n a few chamber-prog weiridities. Not nearly enough on such all-time classic French acts as Mahogany Brain, but the reams of information on fellow labelmates Red Noise (and spinoff Komintern) have naturally piqued my interests as did the writeup on Dogon, an act which would be the latest in a long line of late-sixties washed aways to come to light if only someone'd release a few of their wares! Laminated cover too!!!

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Unlike many of you fanzine snobs out there, I really go for those English publications that devoted their precious pages to one artist, group, or buncha people who are somehow connected by a specific act. Naw, I ain't talkin' about fan club vehicles, but those usually digest-sized mags put out by Syd Barret, Hawkwind or Deviants fans that are filled to the gills with everything from British Weekly clippings to personal recommendations of which drug goes good with which song. AKTIVITAT was but one of these reads, a magazine devoted to Kraftwerk and nothing but and although I'm about as interested in the group's latterday recordings as Robert Christgau is interested in rock 'n roll I do find their earlier offerings to be top notch krautrock worthy of repeated spins. Not only that, but when these guys utilized a guitarist such as  Michael Rother or (as recounted in a EUROCK writeup) two of 'em to present a version of "Autobahn" closer to the Stooges than Stockhausen my antenna does a perk up to the point where I can imagine Kraftwerk to have been every bit as important to the bared-wire intensity streak that was birthed in the fifties, emboldened by the Velvet Underground, and perhaps the most important rock group to make it out of the seventies alive. I can imagine it true, but then I regain my senses and remember just what turdburgers these guys had become by the time the eighties clocked in.

Nothing really revealing to be found in this issue, but AKTIVITAT was still a decent enough read with a review of a '75 appearance in ol' Blighty as well as various interesting behind-the-scenes tidbits that made for nice enough forget your impending doom late-night reading. The writing is good fan-to-fan chat, and even if Kraftwerk don't exactly rate a big score on your rock-o-meter you can't hate these guys for putting out an interesting mag that, I'm sure, might have dwelled on the early Kraftwerk stylings that I harbor a hankering for in issues yet unread.

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I dunno, but can you really classify ZIGZAG as a fanzine in the classic peck it out and print it up tradition? True, the magazine's early days seemed to be the template for what most English rock fanzines of the early-seventies (and even afterwards...talking COMSTOCK LODE and BUCKETFULL OF BRAINS among quite a few more) would look and feel like. True, ZIGZAG had set up a transatlantic deal with Boston's VIBRATIONS who were somehow considered a "sister" publication as well as "a most unique fanzine" in a ROCK MARKETPLACE ad. True, I've mentioned all of these interesting facts and more during the entire course of my blogging career to the point where you should already have it embedded into your thick skulls by now but frankly, I just can't judge the cranial capacity of you readers one iota so I gotta repeat myself over and over again which frankly isn't doing my nervous system any good! But for the sake of brevity (and to fill this post out) let's just say that ZIGZAG was a fanzine in the classic sense and proceed!

Picked up this particular ish (#59, April 1976) because it contained part two of a Nick Kent interview, the first half of which I'd owned for years and after all this time I thought it was about time to find out what else the guy hadda say. The first portion of that interview was so boss containing info not found even in the guy's stellar autobio (such as his impressions of various Rolling Stones as well as his breaking in to the rockscribing business, not to mention how he thought that Wayne Kramer was handing him a big line of revolutionary hooey when Kent did an interview with him for FRIENDS back '72 way!), and as I would have expected the followup is even more grand with Kent talking about playing rhythm guitar on the Flamin' Groovies' "Slow Death" single not to mention some Stooges tracks he performed on which were recorded after James Williamson's hand got busted up by an Alice Cooper roadie! Both of these titillating yet not oft spewed anecdotes are pretty crucial to the entire rockist history process if you ask me, and yeah, I gotta say that because I know about such things in the here and now my life is at least a little more complete. And who knows, maybe your's will be too especially when Kent gets in on his current faves as well as the Sex Pistols and other shards of gab which might change the way you look at the guy next time you settle down with an old NME in hand trying to dredge up long-suppressed rockist urges!

(I gotta hand it to Kent for pointing out just how the NME/MELODY MAKER feud used to go off on all tangents with NME just having to dump on acts like Springsteen because the people at MM championed him and vice versa! Now I know why there was all of that non-prog animosity oozing from those rare MM's I'd latch onto way back in the stagnant seventies!!!)

The rest of the mag does lean more towards the whole English fop scene and West Coast/country rock thingie that ZIGZAG originally bet their bucks on in those distant pre-Clash days, and while this ain't bad by any stretch of the imagination even if groups like 10cc never really jolted me outta my usual lethargy it does reflect just how dudsville a good portion of "rock" had become at the time. But whatever,  it sure makes for good reading even if some of the second-stringers of English rock writing are on hand raving about acts that never really lit a fire under my fart! An overall good, professional job for a scrounge-y publication like ZIGZAG which coulda taught some of the bigger names in rock reads how to put out a mag, but then again why would any of the successful (read: "snooty") mags care about improving themselves in the first place?

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Anyone out there with old fanzines along these lines they'd like to sell, or photocopy for me? Still doing that all-important research even after all these years, so if you're still looking to get rid of that 'zine you printed up 40 years back or want to get some long-overdue fame via the new medium of computers, here's your chance. Just drop me a line (you know how) and who knows, your fifteen minutes of fame just might get extended a second or two!
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*no issue number to be found anywhere in the mag though I don't believe it's a debut 'un like the guy who sold it to me claimed....sheesh, some people'll do anything to get their wares sold at exorbitant prices!