BLOG TO COMM

Although it is bound to offend more than a few of you regular BLOG TO COMM readers, I must mention the previous week's passing of a lady of great historical importance, a woman of controversy who has divided people like few others have or ever will. A person who has changed the course of history by her sheer (shall I say) talent and might, one who even to this day will bring out either the utmost of praise for her mere existence or the most loathsome of sneers from many a quarter (or even a dime and a few pennies too). I know that even the mere mention of her name will bring forth a torrent of profane catcalls from those who've had to endure her during her reign, but then again I know many others will raise hosannas believing her to have been one of the leading lights, if not the beaming beacon that she was, during the second portion of the twentieth century. And you can bet your bottom butthole that we're never going to see the likes of her again no bout a doubt it!

I remember first finding out about Annette Funicello back when I was about eight years old and reading some old PEANUTS collection containing a cartoon where Linus cries in a particularly angst-filled exasperation "ANNETTE FUNICELLO HAS GROWN UP!!!!" Not getting the joke since I didn't know who Annette was I asked my mother just that, and although what I was told didn't mean anything special it at the time at least her name did plant a seed that would flourish once I began noticing lumpy sweaters in a few years' time. Of course watching various "nostalgia" specials and clips from the original MICKEY MOUSE CLUB had me drooling, not over Annette's pre-teen cutesitude, but because the show looked so hotcha and by that time all they were offering me on afternoon tee-vee was Virginia Graham and the same repeats over 'n over again ad infinitum! Talk about being born too late...here I was old enough to appreciate these types of pre-"relevance" kiddie programs and they were either off the air for good or considered total cornball hokum by the same crowd that was gobbling up NANNY AND THE PROFESSOR!

But still, what teenager out there didn't spend the seventies watching a variety of AIP beach movies with or without Annette being aired on weekend tee-vee just thinking up all sorts of dirty thoughts you just couldn't get looking at the kinda seventies gals who were sitting in front of ya during Civics class. Yeah, the mid-sixties were perhaps the last age of hot lady-likeness before hippies and women's libbers took body hair growth to great heights, and just one look at Annette and her wholesome sexuality is enough to make one long for the days when yeah, you got all excited over calves and thighs and bare arms, but at least they weren't covered with tattoos and shiny doohickies!

Unlike many in her profession who do nada but irritate (especially these days when it's pretty hard to tell entertainers from loud-mouthed relatives who like to start arguments over politics) Annette was classy. I mean, she never acted in any John Waters films even though he actually expressed the desire to direct her. And I don't recall her getting all activist when it became the chic thing to do. Well, at least she didn't have to live it all down like too many faux revolutionary types who looked silly only a few years after the radical days gave way to the age of duh sometime in the early-seventies!

And so Annette, we hotcha UHF-watching junkfood-eating suburban slobs salute you not only for your great efforts in illuminating the cathode tube with rerun fun for all of us, but for helping us pimplefarms think of gals as something other'n whiny blobs that smelled funny. And who knows, maybe if more kids were tuning in for BEACH BLANKET BINGO on sunny Saturday afternoons 'stead of engaging in athletic competitions we'd have more he-men around 'stead of  guys who like to spend their time in close physical proximity with each other, ifyaknowaddamean...

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Not much in the BRAND SPANKING NEW department to tell you about this week, and not necessarily because of a lack of moolah on my part either! Obviously there just ain't as much music that matters in my life being popped out these days, so until a number of orders of music that does comes my way (just sent for one promising platter while another respected biz is taking their good ol' time for reasons I do not know) I guess I'll just have to rely on the occasional Bill Shute package which is BOUND to get the mind juice flowing! If you think all is lost rockism-wise you are wronger than wrong for I do have some interesting items lined up for future analysis, but it sure ain't like it was back when we wuz young and there were fifty hotcha items coming out each week that were more or less custom made for our way of listenin'. Nowadays we're lucky if we can muster up a few hot spinners a month and well...gee, I don't wanna go soundin' like the same kinda wretch who used to bore everybody but me with tales of just how snat music, films and radio were back when they were kids inna thirties even though everyday life was sadder 'n anything you'd have to endure today...but I will.

Various Artists-SANTA WANTS TO BOOGIE, VINTAGE WHOLE-GRAIN LOCAL-LABEL C&W 78s/45s TAKEN FROM MP3 BLOGS CD-R (compiled by Bill Shute)

Not-so-surprisingly enough, spinning this disque (which just hadda've been compiled right off the top of Bill Shute's fertile imagination) on a Sunday afternoon reminded me of the old days when definitely pre-rock 'n roll era musics would get played on the AM dial or, in this case, reminds me of what just about every radio station south of the Mason/Dixon must have been playing in heavy rotation at least until playlists became homogenized beyond belief. Local c&w spinners abound which all have that patented steel guitar slide and moan. Contains two versions of that weeper "Can I Take My Pony to Heaven" as well as a cornballus Christmas cut entitled "Christmas Time is a Merry Time" (complete with irritating faux kiddie vocal) as well as the all-out whomper "Your Atom Bomb Heart" by Hank King which I'll bet some ditzy teenager listened to in preparation for his school finals sometime back in 1957 (and hey I would know, since I used to do the exact same thingie!).

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John Coltrane-MORE LIVE AT THE SHOWBOAT 1963 CD-R burn (originally on BLR Records, Europe)

Audience quality only enhances the roughness of this live sesh which, for the first three-and-a-half tracks, features Coltrane in a trio setting with Jimmy Garrison and Roy Haynes. You can't even hear Garrison meaning this comes about as close to INTERSTELLAR SPACE as one could hope for, and a good four years beforehand too."Impressions" suffers from a lack of Dolphy but I won't complain that much. Features tracks rarer'n a white man on Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard as well as Coltrane taking his turn on piano doing a more'n passable job at it too. Actually a good place if you're just starting, and in fact perhaps thee roughest Coltrane I've had the pleasure of listening to in quite some time.

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Various Artists-SOUL FOOD GHOST SQUAD, MUSICAL KIBBLES 'N BITS FROM MP3 BLOGS (compiled by Bill Shute)

Anudder poe poe ree of various strange things Bill thought I should listen to, but for what reason I do not know! A real mess here from cornballus horror (Thurl Ravenscroft's "Loch Ness Monster") to fun fifties frolix (Castle Kings' "You Can't Get Him Frankenstein") to sixties garage band rock (the Exotics' "Come With Me") and country crankouts (Cal Shrum's "Shut The Door" and "Apple Blossom Waltz" from TROUBLE AT MELODY MESA). Bill even threw some early rock 'n roll cash-in caga and (get this!) kiddie records that remind me of my earliest of early days when I thought those old scratchoid yellow records featuring various famed fairy tales were on par with the Beatles and Kinks! Well, back then a whole lotta things used to run together like a rather sloppy breakfast and come to think of it sometimes it was hard to tell a Beatles record from a kiddie tale spinner, especially those that were recorded during the Fab Four's later days!

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The Duke of Paducah-WRAP-AROUND SEGMENTS FOR "CHECKERBOARD TIME" FROM PURINA TRANSCRIPTIONS CD-R 

I dunno, maybe I shoulda given this one to my dad to review. After all, he used to listen to the Duke of Paducah way back when, and I get the feeling that he'd appreciate the Duke's hayseed jokes a lot more'n I ever would. Historical enough slice of pre-slickazoid country humor  from the days when these country music types didn't try hiding their hickdom and in fact flaunted it, unlike today when c&w is just as by numbers as every other brand of music that one could care to think of, and that includes the underground gunk you're obviously listening to right now, you masochistic little boy you!