Thursday, March 07, 2013


MOOM PITCHER REVIEW! 3 BULLETS FOR RINGO (1964), directed by Emimmo Salvi!

These wopadago westerns are always a touch-y and go-ey affair, so it was grand to see that Bill Shute actually sent me one that didn't make me wanna puke like that one with Lionel Stander as Stinky Manure which the man unfortunately forwarded to me a good two decades back! In fact 3 BULLETS FOR RINGO is such a winner that I wouldn't mind being caught dead watching it even with all of the factual/historical errors and usual sixties western faux passes that pop up a whole lot. I like watching these because of the sixties western faux passes, as if 2013 faux passes are something that makes modern day takes on the Old West so historically better'n the past 100+ years of westerns because well, they're so new and all...

Musclemen Gordon Mitchell and Mickey Hargitay are working together to rescue the kidnapped daughter of a local bigwig who I guess is quite the typical Wild West looker because its more than obvious that both Mitchell (Frank) and Hargitay (Ringo) want a piece of her action. Ringo ends up winning the lass for good (after a rather potent fist fight with Frank) while Frank joins the Confederate Army and eventually makes his way back into town where he and his men end up doing a little plundering themselves (all the while wearing light blue uniforms that come off more like something the Dutch army would have had the good sense to dump in the dike, or better yet give to the dykes). Since the war's now over Frank decides to become sheriff and works hand in hand with the local bad guy banker who wants Ringo's mother's deed to the local mine resulting in a whole lot more trouble'n it was rescuing that gorgeous gal from the Mexicans, that's for sure!

The acting here's pretty good as is the direction, and the dubbing for once in mostly in sync even if the voice actors were probably leftovers from SPUNKY AND TADPOLE. Despite a few li'l luls here and there the story does keep you on the edge of your seat 'stead of daydreaming about the exact boob configuration of the leading lady, and although even that might be tough for some of you guys who are actually following the story at least it does lend credence to the funzitude this film exudes. Of course the big question is, was the title of this movie a cheap attempt to get some free moolah out of a very popular name of the day? I mean, Lorne Greene made heap big bucks with his own "Ringo" hit in the very same year of 1964, and although Lorne's Ringo had no connection with the famous mop topped drummer from Liverpool you know that sly and shifty star of BONANZA was merely riding on the coattails of a big phenomenon of the day while chortling all the way to the bank. Maybe the title of this film was created just to lure in all of those mid-aged paunches whose daughters were going Beatlecrazy at the time just so's they could do a li'l fantasizing of their own...after all, I'm sure they all would have liked to have seen Ringo Starr with three bullets in him, right? Like yeah yeah yeah they woulda!!!

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