BLOG TO COMM

(Well Ray Dio Byrdman, you wanted a new post and, unfortunately, you GOT it!)

Here I am, Mister PERSONA NON GRATIS himself once again with a batch of personal frivolities and recording reviews for you to either take or leave and I know it's gonna be the former. And if you're wonderin' why I'm referring to myself in such deprecating terms well, once again I have to get something off my chest in typical Gypsy Rose Lee fashion --- mainly the plain fact that it is starting to bug me EVEN MORE THAN USUAL that I've been treated so shabbily by just about everyone in this thing that we used to call "rock fandom". Y'know, on one hand it is irritating in typical stick-in-my-craw fashion thinking back upon less halcyon days and remembering just how many of my former compats have deserted me for whatever not-so-strange reasons there may be (and yeah, we know what they all are!). I mean sheesh, it wasn't like I was antagonizing anybody and we were gettin' along so fine and being rather buddy-buddy copasetic for quite awhile without personal nuances and swelled senses of importance getting in the way of our "friendships". But then the knives were pulled out and a lotta stab wounds were found on my back and well, lesser types do like to skedaddle a sinking ship so to speak and turn on people when them chips are way down, and I should know having experienced all of this first hand and thinking about it does kinda dig into me like an undigested peanut stuck in one's colon. 

Then again I'm kinda GLAD that a good portion of my readership has felt so offended and shamed by my writings, especially when these same blokes don't mind offending and shaming people themselves and in a pretty hoity-toity my species is better than yours way at that. I kinda get the idea (at least from watching the spiritual decendents [no sic] of my former buddies via Libs of Tic Tok) that these precious petunia types actually think that it's their natural birthright (them being so blessed and all) to have cut all ties and berate me the way they have. Was I actually so antagonistic to these people in an overtly boistrous way? Perhaps they do this only to masturbate their (I guess) fragile egos and sense of esteem, or maybe they are as prissy and as uptight as the new leftists (who are the spiritual spawn of those "uplifters" seen in DW Griffith films) have been for quite some time lacking any of the tolerance they claim to exude like pus from a syphilitic penis. 

It would be the best explanation for their utter contempt for me and, once you get to the heart of these folks' general attitudes and behavior, it only confirms my deeply held convictions that people really are shit after all. Given the tendency of the likes of Jay Hinman (I forgive, but in no way will I forget) and Ken Shimamoto to go out of their way to treat me as hideous as they have I've begun to realize that I really can't love my neighbor let alone be tolerant of anything that I find offensive even in the slightest. And if you think I'm being nothing by a big crybaby about it what do you want me to do. walk away with a smile? Hey, I really could direct a few things your way that might get quite a few of you doing some major league sniffling but I am (really!) trying to keep my temper in control.

To put it in simpler terms, I gotta eschew any shard of the humanist cop-out (as Wayne McGuire so succinctly put it) that has been shoved down my throat ever since entering them hallowed halls of grade school. I've come to realize a good long time ago that a good portion of the people who are involved in rock fandom were, and maybe are, massive hypocrites who believe themselves to be superior in any way shape and form to lesser forms of life like myself. Frankly, people like this can only be handled by shoving the same anti-life evil straight back into their faces, so if I am treating you with respect and kindness it does mean that I hold you in some sort of exalted fashion and that you are one of the rare ones. However that just might change. Other than that, I'd enjoy seeing you all take a swan dive into the La Brea Tar Pits.

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Now it's funtime, or so I hope. Anyhow, despite the opening rant of pure hate I must admit that things can be somewhat jolly around here if I put my mind to it (well, most all of it was written before I got into my bad mood mode which was set off by the discovery of a person who did some stabbing himself's own blog and boy did those feeling just come rushing back like the water breaking on a pregnant fifty foot woman). Not that there's much to have fun with in these days of cyborg anti-emotion but still, if I look hard enough I can ooze into that awed-out feeling of total suburban slob bliss. 

Why just yesterday I spent a good hour or three listening to old albums (of the vinyl variety even) while reading a few of the writeups I got via RocksBackPages a few years back. Gotta say that the mix of Charles Shaar Murray and Giovanni Dadomo on the printed page with Iggy Pop and the (original pre-jazz fusion) Mothers of Invention on the stereo sure goes swell and like, if I hadda spend the rest of my life just goofin' off and indulging in such heavenly blitz I'd consider myself way better off'n any of you will ever be!

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Hey, if you missed out on Paul Morley's 1976 fanzine OUT THERE you can always eyeball a kinda/sorta virtual copy here! Don't say I don't go 'round doin' nuthin' good fer ya! And if you decide to print the thing out on glossy paper digest-sized you'll get a close approximation of what the real deal looked like, devious fanzine lover you most certainly are and which you most certainly will remain.

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I just LOVE goofing around with Artificial Intelligence and made even more whacked out pix for my own (and maybe even yours as well) personal pleasure. I get a wild kick outta whatever does pop up what with their inherent absurdities which come off like those weirdo dreams that pull images from all over the psyche that I have with an alarming frequency, all fleshed out and quite puzzling in their lack of logic so-to-speak. And something tells me that you never saw Sky Saxon and the Seeds looking like this!

I guess this is supposed to be Jan Savage.

And this Seed looks like he'd be more at home in Guns 'n Roses.

This pic was taken at a jam session featuring Frank Zappa, Captain Beefheart, Alice Cooper and Tim Buckley. There are obviously TWO  Zappas in the pic and that just might be Beefheart playing drums complete with a cymbal on the (I think it is a) floor tom. Who knows, that also might be Beefheart playing the other guitar making me wonder where Alice and Tim are.

The following three are movie posters for the Don Fellman classic A NUMBER LIKE N:

The following are two covers for the unreleased third Velvet Underground (excuse me, "Ublased Oovndgorund" or is it "Veet: Siveer Andougiriand"???) album with John Cale featuring "Sweet Sister Ray" --- hmmm, that second one looks like a good candidate for an actual Velvets bootleg!

AI really screwed up the pic I wanted here! I guess I better learn how to give better descriptions of what I'm looking for.

Here's a pic that reminds me of a late-thirties vintage Salvador Dali/Norman Rockwell flub-a-dub. I especially like the way that extra calf extends from the blonde's left leg similar to the male pant leg emanating from the teacher above. And that fellow seen in the center of the pic is supposed to be Spanky McFarland.

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Have a few winners in here that you might feel like swiping next time you go to the record shop --- that is if there just happens to be a record shop in your neck of the area and you didn't ditch your oversized raincoat. Paul McGarry is to be thanked and is certainly not one on my ever-growing shit list.

Les Rallizes Denudes-STUDIO SESSIONS 1972 & 1980 LP (Take It Acid Is Records, Italy)

Side one's got that previously ish'd 23-minute instrumental rave which reminds me of Dave Allen and the Arrows taken to even more gear-grinding extremes. Well, it's a good excuse for me to hear it again considering I dunno where in my collection I can find the original. "A Tale of Love" which starts off the second side takes the pressure down a few notches but still delivers on some prime blast while yet another version of "Field of Artificial Flowers" caps the thing off sounding quite late-sixties Amerigan garage band stoic! These might be available on one of the many Denudes quickie Cee Dee burns that cluttered up ebay a good two decades back so if you missed out on the carnage the first time you have a chance to redeem your sorry self.

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15-60-75-20 CD (Reedurban Records, PO Box 80007, Canton, OH 44708)

Nobody that I know seems to remember this early oughts collection chock fulla Numbers Band recordings from '74 up until the mid-eighties, and to this NE Ohio camp follower that is a dang ol' shame. 

Robert Kidney is, as you'd expect given his pronounced passion and energy, at the top of his form doing alla them things those "rock poets" we oh so admired way back when were famed for. Given the lack of "look at me" pretension perhaps he did it even better. The band, as you would've expected all these years later, delivers on what Laughner called "voodoo music" making most if not all of those other white r/b acts sound particularly stilted in comparison. 

The Numbers do come off a little more rock 'n roll than usual (at least on the eighties-vintage numbers) which surprises but doesn't bother me one iota and man, after listening to all of the down-to-it that the group delivers it sure is a mystery why this band didn't break through like BIG. (Knew a guy who saw 'em ca. '74 and he was stymied they didn't overtake the entire sphere!) "Stolen Cadillac", the oldest track in the batch, was produced by fames Ann Arbor somethingorother John Sinclair which should count for some musically significant brownie points. 

Dunno if the address above is still valid but if you want it, you'll try as hard as you can to obtain. (TRUE STORY: I played "Not Fade Away" for my cyster and she thought it was Elvis! Reminds me of the time when I was watching the Music Machine on television and my mother thought they were the Beatles which proves that some things happily do not change!)

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The Nude Party-MIDNIGHT MANOR CD-r burn (originally on New West Records)

I was once invited to a nude party but didn't go because I didn't have anything to wear! Now that I got my bad gag joke outta the way lemme just say that this is an interesting item, a fairly good effort even though it's something that (as usual) I probably wouldn't listen to again. It has a nice tinge of late-sixties pop to it and the cuts that sound like Todd's "I Saw The Light" were something I didn't hafta struggle through. Somehow I get the idea that this, had it actually come out 'round the turn of them decades (sixties unto seventies), would have made a great flea market find a good ten or so years later.

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F.U.2.-PUNK ROCK CD-r burn (originally on Beat Records, England)

This punk rock cash-in recorded by the Downliners Sect really does a lot, not only for punk bandwagon jumping but for the cause of punk rock itself. Actually surpasses its kitsch bargain bin trappings to become a legit contender to the realm what with it (almost) coming off like what an actual Raw Records Sect album woulda had someone thought of slapping one together. (I think one was recorded --- 's been so long I can't remember.) Now if someone'd only reissue that punk exploito platter where various Sect members along with future Pretender James Honeyman-Scott slapped out some more of these cash-in punk classics complete with a Standells cover (and perhaps even more NUGGET-y treats) tossed in!

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Polygraph Lounge-THE EP CD (Polygraph Lounge Records) 

I've wanted to know about these multi-instrumentalists ever since I tuned into a CB's 313 Gallery cybercast only to see the two of 'em packing up a massive amount of gear that even made the Art Ensemble of Chicago's barrage look scant. Fifteen or so years later I finally got the opportunity to hear 'em and like, I am somewhat impressed. The PDQ Bach and Spike Jones angle does not appeal to me and the country spoof might be a bit too obvious, but Polygraph Lounge do deliver on some interesting soundsqualls and parody that doesn't make you think this is some nauseating Ray Stevens "take off" not even worth a listen. The live re-do of "The Nutcracker" actually hit a positive nerve in the grey room and would make for a bright Christmas track to spin on my own podcast if I only had one. A once-in-awhile effort that I hope I'll be able to find in my massive collection when I do want to hear it again. 

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Johnny Dowd-HOMEMADE PIE CD-r burn (originally on Mother Jinx Records)

Like a lotta these new country twang unto rock recordings this becomes tiresome and perhaps even trite within a few cuts. Since I never did cozy up to the Dwight Yoakum type of giddyap perhaps I shouldn't be reviewing this, but given I'm in a particularly angry mood (wrote this after I did that opening schpiel) I feel it safer to do my venting via this here writeup rather than go out and sock some ol' granny inna jaw. One of those recordings that some nimnul out there will think I gave an unfair review to and that I should have listened to it about fifty times in order to absorb its nuances and that I'm such a horrible writer anyway so take that along with your run on sentences and who cares what you think anyway even though I did go out of my way to deliver this hatescreed to you etc. and so forth. Sheesh, if I could only PICK my readership!

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I used to get really frothing at the mouth mad back when various pundits would PURPOSEFULLY spew misinformation about my fanzine for whatever not-so-occult purposes they may have so desired. Well, if you want to find out if said scribes were on-target or not with their ideas then you can always latch onto one or hopefully even more back issues by clicking on the highlighted word "fanzine" above. You too might want to see the truth revealed for once, or at least help me get back some needed dollars by buying something that should have been purchased ages back and then you wouldn't have to be reading these pathetic pleads at the end of most of these bigtime posts now, would you?