BLOG TO COMM

It's Corpulent Chris again dishing out the transgressive newz that'z newz to youze, plus a whole buncha record and other sundry forms of sound reproduction reviews that you might be able to ooze some snooze over. Nice enough batch here which includes one effort that I was inspired to pick up thanks to some comments via Alvin Bishop and Bob Forward. Who sez I don't pay attention to what my minions think 'n feel even if I am superior in every which way to ALL of 'em!

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Hey, we're in the middle of "Pride Month" and yeah, I guess this is the time when a whole slew of us everyday fanablas can be proud! I sure am --- I'm sure as shit smells proud of my record, cassette, Cee-Dee,  book, midgie car, fanzine, comic paperback and other sundry collections that populate the various home and storage spaces in which they reside. I'm also proud of some of my life accomplishments including (but not limited to) publishing a certain crudzine which I'll admit had more'n just a "few" moments of brilliance and downright fun 'n jamz in 'em. I'm also have deep pride in the the fact that I write about the sounds in my life that have captured a whole lot of my inner spirit or whatever hippie jargon you can come up with and that I talked to and have even met face-to-face some of my under-the-underground favorites o'er these past few decades! Who knows, I just might continue to meet up with as time roars on. 

I even harbor a tad bit of personal satisfaction knowing that, no matter how under-the-radar and unknown my many writing and publishing efforts have been and remain to this day (something I used to care about deeply but NOT ANYMORE considering just what a shitpile of hack 'n hype "rock criticism" has become these last fortysome years), that I have influenced a very small yet significant enough to me cadre of people who fortunately now look upon rock 'n roll and other forms of musical expression as something akin to a soundtrack for one's existence rather'n backdrop to doobie doings or cheap pickup trysts. 

OH WAIT --- when they mention "pride" these days it has something to do with rump wrangling hijinx or tongue-in-groove Sapphic superiority, right? Well if that's the case, I AM definitely proud (and GLAAD-er than you can imagine), that I was never sexually molested by my father or any "funny" relatives that I thankfully did not have to encounter because there WEREN'T any! If I had, who knows how many jock straps stuffed with feathers I woulda worn out marching down many a city street! Frankly, an occurrence along the lines of molestation woulda been something that might have done a li'l loafer lightenin' in my life, that's for sure! Happy Father's Day, Dad!

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A li'l aside, but as of late I've been doing some funtime research on the original (and a few might say "better") edition of the Mothers of Invention and came across some heretofore unknown facts that I thought I'd pass on to you. Now this newz for yewz may be old turd but boy was I thrown for a loop --- like f'rinstance, didja know that the cover of BURNT WEENIE SANDWICH was originally intended for an Eric Dolphy album? Which one I do not know but I sure kinda/sorta wonder if this project was to have appeared under the auspices of Bizarre/Straight records even though for the life of me I can't locate any information indicating whether or not a Dolphy album was scheduled for that Frank Zappa tax loss effort! Any Mother People out there in onna whole tale behind this project (if it indeed was in the making) that woulda made for a pretty snazzy effort?

On a way less pleasing note, I just found out about the sick case of original Mothers bass guitarist Roy Estrada who is now serving time in the Big Hoosegow (and is unlikely to get out alive) for child molestation! His second offense as well, and although maybe I shoulda guessed that he woulda been somewhat less-than-straight 'n narrow hanging out with Zappa 'n all I never woulda been led to believe that the man was THAT off the scales of what everyday people out there used to call basic decency! Yeah, I know that there's another sicko who ain't walkin' the streets now which is fine and dandy by me, but from now on whenever I listen to "Prelude to an Afternoon of a Sexually-Aroused Gas Mask" I'm gonna think about how that guy howling away used to diddle way-way-way underaged girls! If yer a fan, send him a carton of cigarettes which might just ease his problems if only a tad.

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REST-IN-SOMETHINGOROTHER Frank Bonner, the guy who played the sleazy salesman Herb Tarleck on WKRP IN CINCINNATTI. I liked him better in EQUINOX.

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LAST MINUTE ADDENDUM! A reg'lar reader just wrote in to me to say that the real reason we should celebrate "Juneteenth" is because on that day in 1953 we fried Julius and Ethel Rosenberg (or as he says, "Rosenratzen")!

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Nice buncha record reviews ya got ther Chris, wouldn't want anything to happen to 'em, eh? Hefty Beanie Beastie hoo-ha's to Paul, Bob, Bill, Guerssen and the rest of the guys at the corral for their freebee donations to an effort that I'm sure nobody will know about 500 years from now but wha' th' hey...

Noah-BRAIN SUCK CD (Guerssen Records, Spain)

The release of this obscure platter by a Salem Ohio band of some local notoriety (but unfortunately not that much) has been promised for years, and thankfully while we all have our wits about us it has been issued in a nice li'l package that is accustomed to these Guerssen platters that bring a li'l joy into my life once in a blue moon. Noah's hard-edged heavy rock fits perfectly the spirit of the very early seventies what with its doom organ straight outta Ken Hensley mixed with an early heavy metal ooze that recalls acts like early Black Sabbath and Deep Purple at their scrankiest. I will admit that it's a whole lot more heavy metal (in that original, uncompromising fashion) than the sissified version of the sound many of you idiots prefer. Has the drive, nerve-twist and pure energy that one wants in their early-seventies hard rock 'n it's a shame that this thing hadda be held up for so long because hey, it woulda made a great flea market find 'round '76 way.

Also included are some boffo demos and single sides not only from Noah proper but their predecessor, mainly the Sound Barrier whose "My Baby's Gone" was one of the many wonders that popped up on the ever-lovin' PEBBLES VOLUME 8 along with such hearty company as the Chocolate Watchband, Lollipop Shoppe, ? and the Mysterians and of course the Human Beinz from nearby Youngstown.  That and its equally fuzztoned flipster are on here along with some demos that start to show the more Noah-esque "intricacies" and they're all right up the expansive alleys of crazed fans who've been thumbing through boxes of garage sale singles ever since they were teenbos and now they're ninety-five!

Especially interesting is the inclusion of the elusive to me second Sound Barrier single featuring covers of the Who faverave "I Can't Explain" and the Jefferson Airplane's "Greasy Heart" featuring the pipes of new femme vocalist Pat Pshsniak, a gal who comes off like a Grace Slick who at least had the good sense to keep her suckems covered up in public. Interesting factoid, I was trying to wrangle an interview with Pshsniak for my crudzine way back when in an attempt to get to the bottom of the Sound Barrier story, an effort which was rather stillborn but just think of what woulda happed if only... A nice li'l addition to a spinner that was pretty boff already and one that's custom made for those remnants of a time when Cat Stevens ruled the racks and riding on them peace trains was the last thing on yer mind!

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Dave Holland-CONFERENCE OF THE BIRDS CD (ECM Records)

Yeah I know that some of you people out there think that all ECM was good for was sterile-sounding neo-gnu age albums featuring musicians with umlauts all over their names. I did too though I still used to spin and adore various easy to find back then efforts from the likes of Circle's THE PARIS CONCERT. Come to think of it this Dave Holland effort (with Anthony Braxton and Barry Altschul) is pretty much Circle with the legendary Sam Rivers replacing soon to be e-metered (and eventually to be dead) Chick Corea long before Return to Forever propelled that guy into jazz-unto-jizz stardom. 

What can I say other'n this 'un still packs that proverbial free punch with that more edge-y sound and style that one got outta that Braxton double set on Arista/Freedom (which also prominently featured Holland and Altschul, not to mention Corea on some rather hot duets come t' think about it). I really like it when they get all regal sounding baroque on "Interception", sounding kinda like something Musica Orbis might worked up for some unsuspecting audience. I do get like that some times.

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The Ohio Express-OHIO EXPRESS/CHEWY CHEWY CD (Wounded Bird Records)

Surprisingly refreshing efforts from one of the groups from the Kasenetz/Katz fambly of fine product that actually got me into listening to top forty seriously back when I was still in the single digits. The bubblegum hits that appear here still register happier memories of them times (I gotta say that I still marvel at the way Jackie Charlson and the Toenails were able to mimic the classic "Yummy Yummy Yummy", especially for being a buncha wood blocks!) while the newer material actually captures the psychedelic sunshine sound with a menacing air. That's probably why various comparisons twixt these sounds and various Lou Reedian efforts were often brought up by various folk who undoubtedly know better than I. CHEWY CHEWY deserves an extra huzzah if only because of the sly Stan Freberg "John and Marsha" spoof.

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Jackie-O Motherfucker-CHANGE CD-r burn (originally on Ecstatic Peace Records)

 'n with a name like that y'all wonder why I've been trying to avoid this group lo these many years! Well, I finally pulled out a burn that was sent my way ages back and although I think I DID spin this somewhere down the line it sure seemed like a total newie to me. Sorta this strange mix of folk and new jazz with certain abstract splotches here and there --- not exactly my cup of sassafras but still interesting enough for those of you who have followed the under-the-underground experimental sound scrapers ever since mags like SOUND CHOICE exposed homespun jagoffs to more'n a few cassette culture types. I'd probably enjoy this one a whole lot better if it only didn't have a name like that --- at least Josef Vondruska's Laser Fuckers seemed like a more enticing aggregation given the pedigree of that particular act!

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FIRE IN THE BOATHOUSE CD (Accurate Records, PO Box 390115, Cambridge, MA 02139, USA)

I first chanced upon these guys' moniker back in the mid-oh-ohs and thought that perhaps this was the legendary Fire In The Kitchen under a new name. That ain't true, though when I recently discovered that these guys shared a CB's 313 Gallery bill with current metallic faves Kleiner's Kabalah Syringe I just hadda get hold of this Cee-Dee if only to see if any of the decadent hard rock roar of Kleiner had rubbed off on this group...

...and of course it didn't, but these Boathouse guys are still a rather interesting enough country/rock amalgamation which might please a few of you readers with their neo-Neil Young approach. Y'know, that kinda music that sounds like the early-seventies back to nature music that was preferred by more whole wheat kids than one can imagine, only this has more of a gritty backbone and enough later-on amerunderground moves to dissuade most yammering world-saver bleats from buying it. Not quite my type of platter, but not bad either and worth a few spins in this lifetime of mind.

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SOUND CEREMONY CD-r burn (originally on Celestial Sound Records, Canada)

Paul McGarry sez that Sound Ceremony "sounds like a jacked up mix of Modern Lovers if they were football hooligans and a British Velvet Underground". Gee thanks Paul, now I don't hafta listen to the album!

All kidding aside, Paul's opinions are pretty spot on in some respects, though their style reminds me more of some trash mid-Amerigan (or in this case Canadian) outta nowheres who hadda get their records via mail and hung onto every wordlettercommaandperiod that was written on every obscure unheralded under-the-underground group of the day with a strong passion! 

Sorta like me, though since I thought I was the only fanabla within miles who knew about the kinda stuff I liked I did feel kinda on my own. Great outta toon vocals mixed with basic $29.95 guitar chords and sell twenny-five boxes and get this drum kit playing. 

Yeah I know, you'd opt out for the talking doll, and maybe you'd be RIGHT.

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JUNK RAGA cassette

Inneresting concept. A tape loop cassette which plays the same rattatattatata over and over again for people who like the same sound and like the same sound NOW! First side comes off like a college dorm tape experiment made by some really forward-thinking hygiene majors 'round 1984 way (like I said above, they read SOUND CHOICE!) while the other kinda reminds me of a player piano playing a roll of extra-ply Bounty. To whoever it was that created this thing...have you tried macramé? 

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Various Artists-SWEATIN' HOOTENANNY MUSICSHIP CD-r burn (Bill Shute)

Yeah it's a goodun, what with the great Ray Gee and the Counts doing a spiffy rockahoola on one side and a driving early-sixties-styled instrumental on the other, and that's not counting the Montereys' surf twangons either. Then there's the soulful garage approach of the Lost Souls and the Malibus pre-Bastille and vicey-versey getting even backer into the grave than one could imagine Best thing about this 'un's not the music but the cover featuring an ad sporting the likeness of none other'n that all 'round bad as Hitler and not good as Stalin type Donald Trump peddling steaks! Sheesh, I can just now see the reams of rendered garments from alla you precious petunias clutching pearls or gonads depending on what your own personal case may be having to gaze upon his visage. Sure made my day, even though I know none of you more sanctimonious than thou types out there would never be willing to let on just how upset you are now, eh?

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Didja manage to make it through the eighties, nineties and oh-oh's less than, shall we say, intact? If not, it was probably because you didn't get as much BLACK TO COMM into your system as you shoulda. It's still not too late to get some of these still-available back issues which contain the secret ingredient FANABLASOL, a life enhancing carcinogenic yet zany chemical which can only be found within the pages of this rather unique publication. Definitely worth more than just a casual perusal and who knows, maybe these maGS can keep you from getting laid --- by a snotty hairy-pitted bitch with a thousand face piercings that is.