Boy is this film a turdburger! And I'm talking poo-pee-doo as in twelve-thirty inna morn on THE HOULIHAN AND BIG CHUCK SHOW on channel 8 in Cleveland any time inna mid-to-late seventies when the station would run some douchebag of a flick and the hosts would feel all uptight about it (but not as phony as the time they coyly apologized when the previous week's foreign film contained a brief bit of tit rubbing). But EXECUTIONER OF VENICE is a stinking bad one that bored me sillier 'n GIDGET GOES NEUTER featuring Bryan Ferry as a swinging neurosurgeon and that's really saying something!
Hokay, Lex Barker and Guy Madison have seen better days and you could say that better they be in a film like this 'stead of SALO. But sheesh, this 'un combines the usual action 'n intrigue to disgustingly low levels that are so snoozeworthy that I found myself fast-forwarding through the swordfights and gazing out the window during the slow and draggy moments (which were pretty much indistinguishable from the action scenes). The entire plot is dredge-up historical mishmosh and even the cheezoid Eyetalian direction and backlot look couldn't help the thing.
Yeah, a perfect 197X Sunday afternoon moom to watch onna tee-vee to yank you back to your glory days of suburban slob laziness. Watch on a Naugahyde chair for added perspiration stickage, only don't hope that the station will interrupt the broadcast for a more exciting tornado warning because hey, the only place you're gonna see this woofer's on Dee-Vee-Dee!
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