Thursday, March 03, 2016


Famed ex-mountain climber Hargitay stars in this Eyetalian sword 'n sweat film set during the final days of the Roman Empire, a film where he not only shows off his muscles for those inclined to look at such things but plays a gladiator who's the son of a general defending Rome against the oncoming hordes. He has this thing for the daughter of the decadent emperor but it seems that, if only to help secure the throne, so does the son of the oncoming Vandals whose father kinda looks like John Astin trying out for the Plasmatics. And in a film that goes from hotcha action to slow snoozarama you gotta keep alert, for when it gets to the quiet parts your mind starts wanderin' then alla a sudden BAM! it's back to those great long fight scenes which always got me up and excited ever since my stocking feet suburban slob nothing to do on Sunday afternoon days!

Actually it's not a bad film and in fact if Eddie Haskell were to see it I doubt he'd find much in it that was historically inaccurate. (Heck, there's even the usual upstart Christianity subplot weaved in just like every other Roman-era period film that was coming out those days.) Hargitay puts on a good show as the star (and of course his voice is dubbed so we don't get to hear his natural Hungarian accent) while the rest, from the emperor to the general and naturally the leader of the bad boys, ain't your typical sleepwalkers going from one zilch-grade film to the next. Coulda used some pepping up in spots but then again considering the dross Hollywood's been cranking out ever since the big stars of the Golden Age have died off what film or tee-vee show out there doesn't?

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