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| I'll take the one on the left, and the one on the right as well! |
I also hope you're doin' what I used to do back when the season was upon us by going through the new Sears catalog and circling (originally cutting out and pasting to a laundry shirt cardboard!) all of the hot and new toy items (amongst other things like games and bikes) that you want Santa to drop under yer tree like a fresh reindeer turd. I can still remember myself during those funner 'n fun days clipping out loads of toy cars and games that, not surprisingly, I never did receive once December 25 popped up on the calendar. I also remember clipping out pics of nice looking ladies in underwear which really got the folks upset because they undoubtedly thought I was a fag for doing so. It wasn't until years later that they realized that I didn't want the undergarments these shapelies were wearing, but the wimmen themselves (with or w/o their unmentionable) which only goes to show you just how advanced some of us nursery school types can be ---heheheheh!
***I WAS GONNA IGNORE IT BUT WHA' TH' HEY, I NEED TO PLUMP THIS OTHERWISE SKIMPY POST UP A BIT...funny the kinda things you come up with when you google yer name, and boy did I get the LAFF RIOT OF THE CENTURY w/ this li'l gem! In typical Sidney Harris fashion I was searching the web for something that was totally unrelated, but (you won't believe this!) not only did I discover that longtime bigger 'n big underground rock 'n roll magnate of the eighties GERARD COSLOY is still alive, but he is still an active sorta fella at least to a certain extent because he actually has a blog that deals in music (thought he'd given the music biz up but then again I really haven't been paying much attention).
I ain't gonna give out the name of it because hey, said blog's probably being BOMBARDED with hits and it'll take ya at least a week to get through, but on said blog (and a few weeks ago at that!) the man actually pecked out his own personal reply to my very own THIRTIETH ANNIVERSARY reminiscences where I say a few rather unkind things about him, and given the lack of free publicity BLOG TO COMM gets I must admit---in my own gosh-it-all good natured self way---that am I glad I'm starting to get noticed after all these years of sweat and toil!
Gerard, I know you care about me and all so let me say that the shoulder separation surgery went fine...glad you thought so much about sending your best wishes, but there might have been a few li'l bits 'n feces in your lovely post that I think should be noted if only for pure historical purposes!
To start things off---well---I would say in my own humble opinion for what it's worth 'n all that Cosloy was doing just a little bit more'n "making fun" of me like he claims. Naw, he didn't call me a sissyfag or crack jokes about my schnoz or anything relatively innocent...what he's guilty of is pretty much going all out hog wild casting aspersions upon my "critical" abilities as well as general tastes in a more'n just nyah nyah way! (And at a time when I really coulda used the prop up, not that it's any concern to anyone!) And yeah, what he did say about me was kinda cutting in that typical Cosloy fashion he's been known for for ages, and surely a bruise to this tender soul who cries over broken flowers 'n all. Quit the innocent bit, huh? But all kidding aside, the words that were being spewed by Mr. C weren't exactly nicey-nice good natured fun but hardcore raves against my entire reason for publishing. Sure didn't know I was that much of a lousy writer, but then again what are my scribings next to a GIANT in the industry as you?
Not that Cosloy is especially creative in his attacks either... I mean, ain't it rather OBVIOUS to drag up comparisons between Adolf Hitler/Archie Bunker and myself??? Couldn't you have done better? Thought you had a little more of an expressive, creative element in your obviously superior beanie Mr. C! Now I would have been flattered if you compared me to such less-known yet vastly superior souls as Wyndham Lewis or George Lincoln Rockwell...that'd show a shard of creativity re. the grey matter. But in these days of post-rock screeding I can't expect anyone to add any Wayne McGuire-styled intellect to the form which is a dad-blamed shame. Besides, my opines are far closer to an amalgamation of Pat Buchanan, Ron Paul, Jim Goad, Paul Craig Roberts, Justin Raimondo and Andy Nowicki than they are to Hitler/Bunker but yeah, who in your socio-political circle knows who most of 'em are anyway? Or can tell the difference for that matter! And for some strange reason I think any one 'em could make mince outta your personal fave far left crybaby commentators in a fair debate which come to think of it would be a rather easy task.
(And please note that I do include the uber-left COUNTERPUNCH site on my linkroll, if only because many of the opinions expressed there are worthy of perusal and even agreement at times [can't argue that much with at least a portion of what Ralph Nader has to say anymore], and besides its one of the few places where the works of such vastly superior forms of life as Roberts as well as Sheldon Richman are being promoted anywhere on the web.)
Sheesh, where in the world did I wish cancer upon you in this writeup? Death sure...I mean I sure could use a laugh, can't we ALL??? But then again for you an agonizing death would undoubtedly be caused by discovering a 10% drop in your stock portfolio! How you have changed---I sure remember some of your vitriolic CONFLICT tirades where you'd dish out the patently adolescent spew such as the time you told Mike Saunders to go back across the room and stick Eddie Flowers' dick back in his mouth (whatever the hell that meant), or sneer on about how you wished certain people you weren't so hot on would die while engaged in sexual asphyxiation. Maybe that was the Angry Young Cosloy speaking, but still them wuz mighty fightin' words! I also remember your own pal Patrick Amory writing an article in his own rag entitled "Death to Stigliano" which I guess expressed sentiments you're 100% copasetic with! Sure got a lot of blowback (sorry!) from that one! Sheesh, I'm only carrying on a fine and upstanding "'zine" tradition with my opines, and maybe you should be proud if only in the slightest for helping to get the ball rolling. But really, I do like your "play innocent" act---wish I could borrow it sometimes!
I also remember you pullin' the ol' ageism game on me...y'know, you're so young and I'm so old as a dyslexic Paul Anka mighta sang it. Yeah, I should be writin' my personal memoirs regarding the signing of the Magna Carta and all 'stead of about rock 'n roll but anyway, how does it feel to be among the geriatric now, Cos?
Back to the post! I know how HUMBLE you are but it ain't no big MYSTERY why the sales of my mag took a drop right when you, a pretty powerful cog in the '80s underground machine (you don't have to be so modest about the power you wielded!), started up your li'l infantile rants against me and my (ahem!) writing abilities and tastes! Ain't no mere coincidence like you say, chum. Of course you were one who at first praised the mag tellin' your readership about how you first read about the Silver Apples in issue #6 after hearing 'em on the radio wonderin' who they were (and writing me some downright pleasant notes as well!) before turning on me based on certain patches of information I've put together from different sources that still make little if any sense (though you'll come up with a few nice li'l reasons as to why). Sheesh, give yourself a little credit for being a shifty human being now, willya???
(By the way, outside of an old FORCED EXPOSURE ad I've never heard of Wishes and Water in my life! And who in heck are these Lewis Largent and Dino Costa fellows you mention in your post anyway, next door neighbors? And people think I'M being obscure with my references!)
I am surprised how you got that notion that a "cabal" of Pee-Cee "Thought Police" has been created to lead to my very downfall and loss of riches and all that. Must be my suspicious mind looking for bigshot En Why rockcrit/underground suckerfish hiding under the bed again! You wouldn't know, but my slow if ever-coagulating move towards the (ahem) "right" didn't really come to total fruition until the v. late-eighties at which time the disturbing if not disgusting actions of certain people you love (those who can easily have their core beliefs easily shred by observers greater than myself, and for that matter have) really became too much for this straight arrow to take. And frankly, I still don't know who was worse, the rampaging fags, feminist blowhards, NEA money grubbing trash artists or the limo lib lackeys (a category in which you more or less fit in) who were defending it all. But I keep forgetting---small city suburban hourly wage workers who are anywhere to the right of Stalin have no rights. The destructive actions of these fine upstanding citizens made me an even straighter soul so maybe I do have you to thank for my transformation, at least in part. Of course ya wouldn't know any of this because hey, for years you weren't READING the mag but I can forgive you (hah!) for getting all of your timelines tangled up.
And (naturally) I really can tell that you're speaking out the
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| "Why can't you be NORMAL like us, Chris?" |
Of course we also all know Hinman still has it in for me despite his equally innocent pose because hey, why would someone (him??? didn't read it) in the first ish of his new mag (forget title---this is all second hand info anyway!) print an article listing the best rock writers of the last few decades and mention Bill Shute (probably one of the few who deserves the praise!) but not the mag he did a whole slew of scribin' for! Y'know, something along the lines of "Bill Shute was also a great writer for some magazine move on nothing to see here" as if the name of my read would soil the punky pleasures that were to be found within the pages of his delicate publication! Well, I guess it's nice to see that Bill ain't exactly the "Inner Mystique stooge" anymore! Grow some 'nads willya Jay, and I guess maybe your funeral isn't my party after all. I couldn't care less if you lived or died.
(An aside...back when I was on twitter which I eventually discontinued because there were more people I didn't want to get in touch with in this sick world of ours than I did, Hinman even requested that I buddy up with him which you can imagine surprised me to no end! Well he was one of those sick people I didn't want to get in touch with but that's beside the point. I mean, haven't I already gotten enough abuse from that ubermoosh w/o asking for more???)
Anyway folk, I must admit that the the fame and notoriety from Cosloy's blog is just making me feel oh so popular and all (even though I never heard about his blog before today and, come to think of it, probably never will hear about it after just like you...). Hey, if I gotta be HATED better it be from a couple of effete stuck ups like these than anyone who'd really matter in this sick game called life. I'm really enjoyin' it! I do mean it!
***Before we get on to today's proceedings let me share with you an article that really made me feel good! In these downright evil bad is good days, it's nice to see the side of right win despite usually impossible odds.
***Anyway, here are some more goodies I'm bringing to the table...CHOW DOWN!!!
The hypesheet (yeah, I really got one with it!) sez that the songs on this platter are the kind that we all dug and blasted during our zit-popping years! No way Hozay...when the type of music that appears on the new Miriam (that's Linna, not Makeba in case you're confused) album was first being broadcast on transistor radios nationwide I was more or less buggin' my mom to help get me a deferment from kindergarten! Still, I can remember hearing hotcha pop sorta like this as a young turd usually in a car filled with other kids or at an appliance store, so when I listen to Miriam plowing her way through some nice 'n tough post-gal group tuneage (with some interesting lineage courtesy Bob Lind, Barry-Greenwich, Beau Brummels and Neil Diamond [don't laugh!]) I'm reminded of those times where I would stare at the rows of tee-vees being sold watching BATMAN while some guy was trying to sell my dad a three-prong adapter. And more or less something akin to this Cee-Dee was blaring in the background making for a cross-media effect that rivaled the best pop art happenings of the day!
Wonderful memories aside, this selection of covers really does go down smoothly in the ear canals of my mind. The production ranges from jangly El Lay folk rock to neo-Spectorian and string fling that might even appeal to your own daddy who perhaps has softened up a bit o'er the years. At least for me it's one big reminder of the fun and underlying intensity of all of those things that mid-sixties teenage kultur stood for, and I was hopin' it would be the same for me when I reached that age but by that time all I got was "Chevy Van".
Miriam has a gal-tough yet tender tone to her that fits not only the rockin' numbers but the dreamers pretty swell, and coupled with the backing band (actually a backing person) DOWN TODAY covers that great mid-sixties gamut that woulda given Greg Shaw unlimited spasms 'o joy back when he was editing the girl group issue of BOMP! Folk rock garage band pounce with a female bent is what I call it, and if you ever held a special somethin' for those days of fun that seemed to change into chaos overnight you'll go for this particular slab of sound plenty! Or at least a whole lot more than you will most if not all of that current girl garage stuff I keep hearing on Sirius Radio. (And really, why doesn't the well-draped Little Steven Underground Garage play Miriam all the time 'stead of plugging the Darlene Love album which I gotta say sounds really slick, overproduced and MODERN???)
And where else, here in the mid-teens, is anyone gonna hear that Small Faces via Flo and Eddie classic "Afterglow" done up in any sorta fashion!
We all know that Miriam is a class act as well as a class human being, and this release really does conjure up all sorta memories that I thought Jann Wenner woulda had suppressed by now. Pick it up, and while you're at it say a prayer or three for Miriam's husband Billy Miller who I'm sure would appreciate it.
***
I wasn't expecting anyone to ever re-release the infamous and terribly obscure (only 750 made) Geofrey Crozier/Generator double set, but lo and behold the maybe not-so but should be famous collectors label Finders Keepers went and put the thing out for us surviving members of the late-seventies underground rock contingent who still wear our Max's Kansas City t-shirts at half mast!
Thankfully this didn't turn out to be the gnu wavey gloppy electronic casiocrap I sorta had the idea it might be...naw, the sounds that emanate from the synths (as well as guitars 'n drum machine...might even be some actual percussion in there!) are played creatively and evoke more of the mid-seventies era of Hawkwind circa HALL OF THE MOUNTAIN GRILL than they do the Human League. I'd throw a li'l Suicide in there as well. Not surprisingly Last Sacrifice's obscure yet potently powerful "Suspended" also comes to mind although the Generator layer their sounds intermingling the old patchcord synthesizer buzz in with fairly expressive guitar lines that make heady backdrop for Crozier's speak-singing which, true, ain't anything special but it sure suits its hidden purpose well.
Crozier's downright creepy vocal cords can grate on my nerves during a few stretches on these platters, but what better whiny irritable sound for him to express his magic moods to! The live tracks on the last side give a taste of not only the stream-of-madness spontaneity Crozier could spew out but what the Generator were capable of in front of a breathing audience, and between Crozier's free flow prose (reminded me of Patti Smith!) and the neo-kraut sounds of Generator I can only moan over the fact that this stuck in Australia act had no way of really making itself known to the vast reaches of the globe. At least not in 1980, but in this shrinking world now we can all join in on the mystical fun.
A nice li'l surprise to shake up the stirrups, and if Finders Keepers ever gets hold of the various Generator (w/o Crozier) releases I hope they can get those out to an awaiting public (of one?) as well.
***
Can't really find any offhand correlative offerings to compare this particular teaming up with so it's obviously a pretty unique listening experience. In fact its the kind you probably would have loved to have heard back when you were first getting into all of that even-newer-than-the-new-jazz-thing after a few choice scribes dropped hints about it in the pages of CREEM. Harth plays smooth on this one teamed up with "Extended Vibraphone", "Teopyeongso" (a Korean horn) and "Buk" (a Korean drum...guess where this was recorded!) player Bell, and the use of those exotic instruments does lend itself to a "world music" vibe that probably would frighten most fans of the form. If you like Alan Sondheim's various sixties offerings this might be something that'll fit in within the cracks of your already atonally-saturated mind.
***
The Clash-FRIDAYS ABC-TV 25th APRIL 1980 CD-r burn, Joe Strummer-WHEN PIGS FLY SOUNDTRACK LP CD-r burnBy the time FRIDAYS was tryin' their durndest to out-gross SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE I had pretty much given up on the breed of new comedy that was tending to levitate towards political/social sensitivity and the stretching the old boundaries like those protected by law rumpensteins stretch their rectums in lieu of that UNIVERSAL OFFENSIVENESS shows like SNL reveled in. At that time I would say that I had also given up on the Clash, but since I never bought into them like many of my contemporaries had I couldn't say that I'd ever to have been able to drop them outta whatever there was going on in my musical life. However these Clash appearances from the ABC ripoff series don't sound that bad to me. Nothing spectacular, but the tee-vee recording quality gets rid of the studio techwhiz somewhat and the resulting numbers ain't anything that offends me like most modern sounds and creeds tend to.
I never heard of any film called WHEN PIGS FLY (but then again I'm vastly unfamiliar with most cinematic excursions made after American Mutoscope and Biograph went out of business) but I guess there was one and Joe Strummer did the soundtrack for it. Nothing offensive here yet nothing special...'s just more of that early-eighties new wavey stuff that brings back memories of Dexy's Midnight Runners and other vapid MTV fodder that made things like post-Detroit Australian rock and the Raunch Hands so tasty in comparison. When I hear music like this I just can't get people like Kurt Loder or Bob Palmer outta my mind for one strange reason or another, so if you're more in a Bangs/Meltzer mood spin Throbbing Gristle.
***
I remember us havin' this show blarin' on the tee-vee once in awhile, although I can't remember any specific episodes or even the basic gist of what THE GIRL FROM U.N.C.L.E. was about. But the soundtrack music for this series, created by former teenybop singer turned Third Bardo producer Teddy Randazzo, does rumble up some of the old 'n musty memories of single-digit tee-vee kultur (just like Miriam!) back when programs like these were just too wild for the grownup generation yet kinda advanced for the BARNEY BEAN crowd. Good cheapo spy music mixed in with some hotcha e-zy listening that, like I keep telling you, I can sure use after a hard day at the salt mines. So authentic that I actually picked three warts on my knee while listening to this, that's how zoned back to my past this recording got me! (I was gonna say "picked the back of my underwear that was creeping up my crack" or "smeared my snot on the wall" but sheesh, I do that kinda stuff everyday!)
***
A rather low-keyed Cee-Dee-Are you gotcha here Bill. Nice if comparatively softer 'n usual selection of post-Elvis/pre-Beatles local rock that ain't always garage, but at times sweet enough that even your next door neighbor coulda recorded it. Some of it is kinda cheezoid like the 5 Sable Sisters' "Little Wee Lady" and some of it is definitely in the nerdo garage band vein (which proves that, even if the early-sixties, the lowliest goofoid kid in school could rise above it all with his $29.95 Factory Closeout Guitar) but in all this did at least have the benefit of lowering my blood pressure a good twennysome points. Highlights for me include Phil V and his Viscounts doing some '56 neo-Elvis and Johnstown Pee-YAY's Twilights doin' their version of "Guitar Boogie" under the moniker "Running Loose Twist". More fun than playin' spaceship in the back of your dad's 1963 Falcon station wagon!
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