Wednesday, October 16, 2013


Still milking the BIG SCREEN BOMBSHELLS Dee-Vee-Dee set for all its worth, and surprise surprise today's double header was a pretty hotcha if botcha one if I do say so myself. First on the bill's THE STEPMOTHER, a "melodrama" (that's what I think they call 'em) starring none other than Alejandro Rey of FLYING NUN fame in the lead as this hot-headed and jealous to the nth architect who not only kills a client who has been doodling his wife, but accidentally (or so I think) pushes his best friend and business partner off the roof of a partway-completed structure. Considering the friend was played by none other than Larry Linville of M*A*S*H fame you could say that I've been waiting for a scene like this for quite a long time!

THE STEPMOTHER reeks early-seventies gloss and flash even when you consider its grimy deca-suburban (considering everybody is either talking about doing the dirty deed or doing it with everyone else) feel. In many ways it comes of like an NBC MYSTERY MOVIE with tits. And hey, that's what makes it so interesting because when you get bored with the police work scenes there are always some areola bound to pop up on the screen to keep your mind occupied for at least a few seconds.

'n hey, if does make for a good round of entertainment even if your mind isn't focused on mams 'n paps, because the pace is pumped up enough that you don't have to do much if any fast forwarding like I have to at least when I get to some filler (walks through the park, strolls through the zoo...) that exist only to pad an hour's worth of material into a solid feature length. Just don't let the arty "freeze frame" effects get to you. (If you are an epileptic you might wanna steer clear of this one.)

I hadda do more than my share of fast-forwarding with THE SISTER-IN-LAW, a '74 effort starring future youth-appeal actor John Savage as a young fanabla returning home after trying to "find himself," where he's not only seduced by his brother's oft-overexposed  wife, but bro's mistress who bears a bit of a resemblance to the wife so like, why the switch? Actually this 'un is a good enough drama in itself (especially when it comes to the underworld elements who are more'n anxious for brother to deliver a certain package to Canada, and it ain't Paul McGarry's Christmas gift!), though some of it does tend to drag like the dickens. Especially the scenes where we see Savage and bro's whore driving through the countryside followed by a pair of comedic baddies making sure that they do their doody, and maybe get shot right afterwards...I mean, if they just cut those down to proper lengths and maybe added a few more boob shots you wouldn't be hitting the ol' refrigerator so often now, would you?

Actually you can't really go wrong with these drive-in creepers that I'm sure woulda been worth your while seeing back when they were hitting the projectors, though I get the idea that if you were to trek down to the local outdoor theatre when any of these classics were being run the only thing you'd be seeing would be some gal's legs up inna air in the car ahead of you. Well, as they used to say, there was probably more action going on in the cars than on the screen, and after all of these years I finally realize why my mother would always tell me to look straight ahead when we'd drive to the Reynolds to go see SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARVES or BAMBI...well, at least the entertainment that was being provided was rated "G" unlike everything else that was happening around me!

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