Thursday, November 23, 2006

A TRUE TESTIMONIAL!

(EDITOR'S NOTE: this following unsolicited manuscript [for wont of a better term] was sent me via the old-fashioned mails by a longtime BLACK/BLOG TO COMM contributor/fan whose name may be revealed in the future if he gives me the green light to do so. Actually, he doesn't even know that I'm making this letter available via the world-wide ghetto of a zillion sites competing against each other, but I'm sure he really doesn't mind. And besides, I get so little fan mail these days that I thought showering you faithful readers with an example of true BLOG TO COMM devotion wouldn't be a bad thing, and might inspire you to do the same! Not only that, but its great getting freebie material to help PAD THINGS OUT here on the blog! You think I wanna write everything here myself when I can get some ultra-cheap labor my way???)

The last few discs of a CD nature along with LP's that this humble scribe purchased before osmosing a heaping helping of xeroxed BLOG TO COMM pages amounted to about as much as a silent fart aimed into the Grand Canyon. Irritated at the poor quality of these acquisitions I had no choice but to leave my apartment in search of succor in the form of convival meetings with my fellow humans. But this took the for such droll assignments usually take - I end up hearing about the plight of local sports teams or the sad details of Joe Sixpack's crummy job. The movies - eh! We all know there is nothing out there that can top the 1972 home movie of my Uncle Jimmy unscrewing two Oreo cookies and placing them over his bare nipples at one of my family's reunions. Not only didn't it beat anything in the so called "comedy" coming out of Tinseltown these days, the off camera showdown with my Aunt Fran (his usually nonplussed wife) a few hours and a six pack later in the day beat any drama from the last couple of decades! But I'm here to tell you I'm a happy hermit again after studying BLOG TO COMM and picking up the following - The Magik Markers, the 1968 repress Brute Force LP, The Music Revelation Ensemble NO WAVE CD and the SSM LP on Alive (so tasty I'll even forgive the drum machine tracks - to an extent). Now when I hear a knock at the door I just smile, ignore it, and turn the stereo up a notch or five! NO more being so desperate for company the Mormons run away the second I turn my back to take a whizz! I don't care if I see another human being until my next BLOG TO COMM dispatch points me towards more stellar wares to fill my ears with the finest untamed sounds from the past and present! Yes, that's right - those critics who told you Bob Dylan's latest was a five star masterpiece and you went out and bought it only to wish you had spent the money on - well, ANYTHING ELSE, even plastic hangers for your closet, or novelty salt and pepper shakers, or those blue cakes you put in the toilet tank really are selling you an empty bill of goods. Admit it! Log on to BLOG TO COMM and let Chris put the pizazz back into your stereo system! There is no contract to sign, and you cannot be turned down for any reason! So log on today - you'll be glad you did!

Whoa! didn't mean to go over the top on the salespitch - perhaps its my tribute to the guy who started local icon business American Plumbing and Heating whose obit I saw recently - hey, that's an easy epitaph - "Who can? AMER - I - CAN!" as recited by former Pittsburgh Pirate Pie Traynor during Studio Wrestling telecasts as Ringside Rosie tried to mug for the camera inna background. My grandfathter would always point out who the old man doing the schpiel was and I'd just wonder how anyone got the name "Pie."

Couldn't get the Magik Markers disc on Gulcher, (still kicking myself for passing on it in the used bin - had I known what label it was on I'd have bought it not knowing a thing about it!) found some Frog import for a pricey 15 bucks. 4 songs studio/live starts off like industrial beddybye snoozer time, just when I start to worry here comes the drum spazz plus some chick seemingly talking/chanting to herself, a definite upturn in the proceedings! Filtered through the live tracks is the sort of canned M.O.R. muzak that they used to use on early 70's porn movies, which is kinda creepy, at least that's what it sounded like to me, but I couldn't turn the disc up too loud as the landlord was below! BRUTE FORCE side one a bit too Tower of Power for me, but side two, the long one and the pretty one rounding things out sure are fine, and did I ever tell you about this guy I knew in high school who loved B.O.C., Hawkwind and the Dictators (he even did a novella that was a takeoff of the insipid JAMES AT 15 called ROLF AT 15, and had a character named Borneo Jimmy in it!) but also was a Tower of Power fan and would go to their concerts by himself. I saw they were just in town, probably one or two original members type deal, but for a band that flew as far under the radar as they did they sure have outlasted the competition - don't know how much support black radio even gave them then, though I'm sure it's zero now.

SSM, yeah a bit alterna-land in spots, but the cheese ball organ and general "kitchen sink" songwriting takes me back to the early 80's and The Scientific Americans and other goofball bands that seemed logical at the time before everything went kerplooey. I'll tell you one thing - they sound better to me than the much hyped Pittsburgh band the Modey Lemon - who work somewhat of the same parameters.

Music Revelation Ensemble was probably the best of the bunch, and that's saying something so thanks for the research! I was in such a groove snapping up stuff from your posts I even lost my head for a sec and asked about the Roxy Music FIRST KISS boot only to be poo-pooed "no boots here." To which I could only fondly remember when the place was Jim's Records, and the boots (talking white sleeve/xerox insert days) were in plain sight BY THE FRONT DOOR!

Also wanted to pick up the Slits PEEL SESSIONS - which I have an old tape of and think are better than their recorded work proper - twunny bux! That's probably more than they spent on their instruments at the time! And sure more than they spent on lessons! The ragged old tape will have to do!

P.S.-I'd be remiss not to mention that it was Eddie Flowers' Magik Markers review that really got the old beanie spinning.

P.P.S.-Every time I hit that store I try to remember which Robert Wyatt disc Doug Snyder of Sick Dick rated very highly on his top 20 list you published in BTC. And every time I pick up the wrong one (one day I'll write the proper one down!). This time I got RUTH IS STRANGER THAN RICHARD from 1975 - Frith + Eno guest, nice disc despite typical "overdose on whimsey" moments; last time I got MATCHING MOLE -- when the disc he (Snyder) named is ROCK BOTTOM! When I finally remember one day it'll be out of stock -- then I'll try to remember which Terry Riley discs he ranked way up there!

2 comments:

Aaron Goldberg said...

Chris you deserve a medal! You got Meltzer listening to rock music again!

Collin said...

shameless self-plug: www.totalrockmania.com

also, hey look-a-me, i can writes too just like a white man do:

http://www.lostinthegrooves.com/ian-north-tinkertoy-tomorrow-today