Thursday, October 07, 2004

CHRIS' ALL-TIME TOTALLY OBJECTIVE (HAH!) "BEST OF" LIST TO PUT ALL THE OTHER "BEST OF" LISTS YOU'VE SEEN OVER THE PAST TWENTY YEARS TO SHAME!!!

BEST ROCK & ROLL GROUP (fifties division)-Link Wray and his Raymen

BEST ROCK & ROLL GROUP (sixties division)-Velvet Underground

BEST ROCK & ROLL GROUP (seventies division)-Stooges

BEST ROCK & ROLL GROUP (eighties division)-MX-80 Sound

BEST MALE VOCALIST (fifties division)-Elvis Presley

BEST MALE VOCALIST (sixties division)-Gerry Roslie

BEST MALE VOCALIST (seventies division)-Iggy

BEST MALE VOCALIST (eighties division)-Von Lmo

BEST FEMALE VOCALIST (fifties division)-Janis Martin

BEST FEMALE VOCALIST (sixties division)-Yoko Ono

BEST FEMALE VOCALIST (seventies division)-Annisette

BEST FEMALE VOCALIST (eighties division)-Iolsa Hatt

BEST GUITARIST (fifties division)-Link Wray

BEST GUITARIST (sixties division)-Lou Reed

BEST GUITARIST (seventies division)-Bruce Anderson

BEST GUITARIST (eighties division)-Von Lmo

BEST ROCK & ROLL ALBUM (fifties division)-THE FABULOUS WAILERS

BEST ROCK & ROLL ALBUM (sixties division)-THE VELVET UNDERGROUND AND NICO

BEST ROCK & ROLL ALBUM (seventies division)-NO NEW YORK

BEST ROCK & ROLL ALBUM (eighties division)-Von Lmo-FUTURE LANGUAGE

BEST ROCK & ROLL SINGLE (fifties division)-Link Wray-"Rumble"/"The Swag"

BEST ROCK & ROLL SINGLE (sixties division)-MC5-"Looking At You"/"Borderline"

BEST ROCK & ROLL SINGLE (seventies division)-Pere Ubu-"Heart of Darkness"/"Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo"

BEST ROCK & ROLL SINGLE (eighties division)-any Halo of Flies (you can see my obvious disgust growing as the high-energy seventies morph into the dull and staid eighties/nineties/oh-ohs...still, Halo of Flies were the kings of the eighties underground rock singles bands!)

BEST ROCK & ROLL WRITER (sixties division)-Wayne McGuire

BEST ROCK & ROLL WRITER (seventies division)-Miriam Linna

BEST ROCK & ROLL WRITER (eighties division)-Byron Coley

BEST ROCK & ROLL WRITER (nineties division)-Tim Ellison

BEST ROCK & ROLL FANZINE (seventies division)-DENIM DELINQUENT

BEST ROCK & ROLL FANZINE (eighties division)-KICKS

BEST ROCK & ROLL FANZINE (nineties division)-BREAKFAST WITHOUT MEAT*

BEST ROCK & ROLL FANZINE-CIRCUIT WRITER (seventies division)-Kenne Highland

BEST ROCK & ROLL FANZINE-CIRCUIT WRITER (eighties division)-Bill Shute

BEST ROCK & ROLL FANZINE-CIRCUIT WRITER (nineties division)-Grady Runyan

BEST ROCK & ROLL MANAGER-Danny Fields

BEST ROCK & ROLL RENAISSANCE MAN-Lenny Kaye

BEST ROCK & ROLL BOOK (sixties division)-THE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF ROCK-Lillian Roxon

BEST ROCK & ROLL BOOK (seventies division)-THE AESTHETICS OF ROCK-Richard Meltzer

BEST ROCK & ROLL BOOK (eighties division)-LIPSTICK TRACES-Greil Marcus**

BEST ROCK & ROLL BOOK (nineties division)-ROCK AND THE POP NARCOTIC-Joe Carducci

BEST ROCK & ROLL AESTHETE-Eno pre-1976

BEST ROCK & ROLL INTELLECTUAL-Russell Desmond

BEST ROCK & ROLL RADICAL-Mick Farren

BEST ROCK & ROLL SAVANT-Wild Man Fisher

BEST ROCK & ROLL SELF-PROMOTER-Eddie Flowers

BEST BLOG-CLICK HERE FOR THE ANSWER (fooled you, didn't I?)

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*OK, this, like some other entries here, might be considered on the cusp of various decade-ish trends and not really indicative of the entire ten-year nineties timespan per se, but considering how the nineties were a pretty lean era as far as rock & roll fanzines go (despite being a decade where fanzines of all stripes began to proliferate and even be acknowledge as important to their causes by mainstream writers), there weren't that many of 'em on the market, sad to say. Still, I would call BREAKFAST WITHOUT MEAT the most, if not one of the most important nineties fanzines even though it, like eighties winner KICKS, was pretty much a 1980's baby!

**This is obviously a joke...frankly, I can't think of any good rock & roll books to have come out of that sorry decade!


4 comments:

tim ellison said...

Chris, who is Iolsa Hatt?

Anonymous said...

Stig, that's the most heart-warming 'best of' list I've ever seen ... As the Handsome One would say, "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke", 'Holy Grail' Marcus sucks a weenie ... Luv ya! Joss

Christopher said...

Iolsa Hatt was the vocalist for Kongress between Geofrey Krozier and Marilyn who can be heard on the Von Lmo's Refrigerator track on the TRANCEFORMER album. Again, given the qiantity and quality of underground music coming out of the eighties, the choice of Hatt as best female vocalist was fitting...she's the only one with any dynamism that I could think of! I've been told that besides being Lmo's girlfriend at the time she was hanging around the NYC scene, Hatt was also Amish!

Christopher said...

That's "quantity."