BOOK(S) REVIEW! MUTT & JEFF GIANT-SIZE STANDARD COLOR EDITION, VOLS. ONE AND THREE (Retro Comic Reprints)

Hardly a man is now alive who can remember when MUTT & JEFF was hotcha potatoes in the world of newspaper comic stripdom. Beginning in 1907, this once-all over the place cartoon had the distinction of being the first (or at least one of 'em) to appear on weekdays, and at one time you just couldn't escape the thing what with animated films and products based on the strip permeating just about every aspect of one's life the way PEANUTS would forty years later. This comic even affected various other realms of life---f'r example "Mutt and Jeff" became a common police term to describe a pair of suspects with drastically opposite features. Creator Bud Fisher was also one of the first celebrity comic strip artists even if, for the most part, the guy hired out all his work as time went on but eh, he sure coulda afforded it given the dinero being raked in!

As anyone would prob'ly expect MUTT & JEFF eventually fizzed out as time went on, and during its final days it became a daily groaner for many a comic strip hound on the search for a good badgag. In no way could the thing survive in today's comic strip world --- had it somehow lived on it would have gone through, like NANCY, some heavy "updates" that would have made it agonizingly unrecognizable from the original form. But then again, had it lasted into the present day perhaps the public would have protested loudly to any slight change in style in the same fashion that fans got into an uproar when the news that the BLONDIE strip was gonna creep into the present day what with new decor, hairstyles and even a spiffy new suit for Dagwood --- now THAT was something for one to grab the pitchforks and get riled up about if you ask me!

One interesting thing about MUTT & JEFF was that for quite a spell the two were part of Max Gaines' All American branch of the DC publishing empire. Yes, before they headed out for the somewhat less green pastures of Harvey Comics the duo's old newspaper strips were being recycled for perhaps thee premier comics line of the day and sheesh, at times you could see the two of 'em on some comic book cover appearing right next to such luminaries as the Flash and Green Lantern which I gotta admit does give 'em some class, at least by association. Unfortunately they had about as much of a chance to join up with the Justice Society of America the same way that Dennis the Menace had joining the Avengers during his brief stint at Marvel, But sheesh, the thought of it does make for a kinda/sorta funny brief moment in this agony we call life now, doesn't it?

And yet another comic book publisher of past triumphs, namely, Retro Comic Reprints, have gathered these now PD titles for present day consumption, volumes one and three which were graciously zoomed my way by none other than Bill Shute.

Not being too familiar with MUTT & JEFF other'n when I would pour through old comic histories, out of town newspapers or especially MAD spoofs, I will admit that this pair of books were a refreshing high dive to the strip. And after all of these comics presented to me in overdose fashion I will admit that MUTT & JEFF was a groaner true, but a groaner in a good way when a bad gag is needed in one's life just to give it a break from the mundaneness of sophistication and class. Like I said over and over again, bad gags can be done up right as they often were in the Bob Montana-era ARCHIE strips or they could flop about as a cursory look into any cheap comedy-oriented title of the fifties will attest to. 

The jokes you see in MUTT & JEFF work out like --- OK. Some of them hit you right in the funnybone while others miss by a mile, but that don't always matter because the artwork is grand in that old style where it seemed as if the artists had some sort of craft about themselves and bothered to add things like detail and style into their work. Things that are in quite short supply if my recent glances at the comics page are any indication. Not only that but the characters are well formed, what with Mutt being more of the stupid yet in charge Bud Abbot of the two and Jeff a naive simp worth the punchline you know that he's eventually gonna deliver on.

Also included in these comic books were other efforts related to MUTT & JEFF or not for that matter. Strip "topper" CICERO'S CAT (Cicero just happens to be Mutt's son and rarely even appeared in these strips) rates well with all of the other pussy comics that were appearing at the time and heck, sometimes even Mutt or Jeff show up in these in supporting roles. However, I thought SIMP O'DILL didn't have a thing going for it, coming off like the kind of har har filler you say in more'n just a few Golden Age titles of the forties. Funny thing is, this strip must have been somewhat popular since there was at least one Tijuana Bible featuring the guy.

With all of the original ads and text kept in place, these are a nice bunch of book that are gosh awful handy to have around when the cravings for an antique joke just needs to hit'cha. And hey, MUTT & JEFF was even educational for me because, even after years of reading and collecting 'em, I never knew that for a spell Gaines's All American line had its own logo, a slug with "AA" in the center almost identical to the long-running DC one I'm sure some of you remember from your early comic book scarfing days! When Gaines sold out and started EC the familiar DC logo was finally used on the covers but for the life of me I never did come across an "AA" in my born days! And given how this logo features curved letters aligning themselves to the edge of the inner circle I was reminded that, when I first discovered 'em, I once actually thought that EC comics were part of the DC empire because of the similarity in their ID! (Don Fellman thought I was a stoop for thinking this and given the people he's had to encounter in his life he should know!) Not only that but the inside front covers of the AA and EC books, what with their listing of available titles and "Editorial Advisory" list, are nearly identical (even the print!) which does make for a big "now how about that!" at least in my life!

Of course given the difference 'tween DC/AA and EC regarding content not to mention their cover schemes etc., these companies just weren't alike one iota. But sheesh, given how Gaines manned both AA and EC and the stark similarities in their circle within a circle slug logo perhaps the truth was a heck of a lot whole lot closer to what I had originally thought in my not quite formed twelve-year-old brain! In the "you learn something new every day" department this one really was a biggie!

WHAT DO ALL THESE CREATURES HAVE IN COMMON?

Well, besides taking what was totally freaked out and exciting in the seventies and making it boring in the twenties it should be obvious. NONE of 'em have ever read an issue of BLACK TO COMM in their entire bloomin' lives! That and the fact that they look like they might be closely   related to Dave Lang but that's another story...anyway, if they did read it do you think they would be stupid enough to look like this considering just how much shock has turned to flop these past fortysome years? 

Anyway, if you don't wanna end up like any of these woof-woofs howzbout buyin' one (or three, or ten, or a millyun for all I care!) old copies of this essential (to my bank account) fanzine before they're all gobbled up by the landfill! Prices are up due to inflation, and if you're outside of the USA forget it because the postage will kill you! (But if you're a rich kinda guy well...open up your bank account!) Two ways you can get 'em. One is to leave a message in the comments section (I will not publish it!) with your email and I will get back to you with more detailed information. Or you can send me the cash (check or money order suggested because some doofs have claimed to have sent me moolah in their orders though I have no record of 'em having done so!) to Christopher Stigliano (checks payable to him!) at 701 North Hermitage Road, Suite 23, Hermitage PA 16148 USA; just like you used to do in the old days.

 

PHFUDD! #11-Still have a few copies of this once-gone and forgotten issue featuring Mirrors (complete with the usual rare photos and flyers and ads and esoterica like that), Von Lmo photos taken at Max's Kansas City with Lou Rone mugging it up for the camera (plus a Rudolph Grey chronology!), Sonny Sharrock, Jeff Dahl and Powertrip, a live Styrenes photo taken by ME (which accounts for its fuzziness!), Birdhouse (remember them?), the Standells and some live Rocket From the Tombs snaps with lyrics that should cause your heart to be racing by now. Also included is the enticing article entitled "Is There No End To Those Pesky Chuck Eddy Rumors?" which, as we know, is still as relevant today as it was in April/May 1988 when this issue originally came out. Since this is a rarity, I'm asking $25.00 each, and no frowning! 

BLACK TO COMM #14-Early 1989. Featuring part one of the Ron Asheton interview, a nice though could be much better given all the information discovered since piece on the Deviants, an article on Peter Laughner's Cinderella Backstreet, the Seeds and Charlemagne Palestine. $15.00 and if that's too expensive just try getting hold of one on ebay at that price!

BLACK TO COMM #16-From summer 1989. This one has the Rudolph Grey interview, some reprints of various Peter Laughner things I copped out of old issues of ZEPPELIN and elsewhere, more Electric Eels lyrics with a pic that's been reprinted all to heck, Laughing Hyenas and of course tributes to the recently departed Lucille Ball and Jim Backus. The first, cruddy version can be had for $7.00, the other for $8.00 or maybe I'll just send you whatever I come upon first! 

BLACK TO COMM #17-Early '90. The first of the "big" issues has a cover story/interview with Scott Morgan and Gary Rasmussen from the old Scott Morgan band, also inside's an interview with Borbetomagus' Donald Miller as well as one with Maureen Tucker, not to mention pieces on Fish Karma (who I liked until hearing his overly-preachy kiss kiss moosh anti-gun song entitled "God Bless The NRA" which blew Fish's snot-nosed toss off attitude to sanctimonious heck), the Dogs (from Detroit, not the French ones or the Flamin' Groovies for that matter!), Rocket From the Tombs (with loads of old photos and the like, some never seen before or since!), the top 25 of heavy metal, METAL MACHINE MUSIC, a piece on the then-new proto-punk reissues and archival digs of the day and the usual reviews and news. $12.00. 

BLACK TO COMM #19-Just found a few of these niceties with my Miriam Linna interview plus one done with Jeff Clayton of Antiseen, not to mention the Pink Fairies, Czech Underground Rock (Plastic People of the Universe, Umela Hmota...), Lester Bangs (unpublished photos too!), NUGGETS, the Shangs, a history of proto/early punk fanzines, lotsa old TV stuff and of course the regular departments. This is the first ish to really dig into a lotta the anti-youth fascism mentality so popular in rock circles these days, so sissies beware!!! Since this is getting rare you can have one of these soon-to-be collector's items for $15 each if you can believe it! A real steal deal!!! 

BLACK TO COMM #20-Found a few of these featuring tasty articles on the Seeds, MX-80 Sound, Lenny Kaye, Richard Meltzer, the Bowery Boys, DENIM DELINQUENT magazine and a smattering of praise regarding old television programs. Also featured are interviews  with Mick Farren, Roky Erickson, Adny Shernoff and Craig Moore (Gonn), $15 

BLACK TO COMM #21-From November '94. A VON LMO cover story and interview grace this ish, as do interviews with Metal Mike Saunders, Brian McMahon (Electric Eels) and rockabilly star Ronnie Dawson, plus you can read much-desired items on the Trashmen, Velvet Underground and Hawkwind like I knew you would! Not to mention a piece on the infamous TEENAGE WASTELAND GAZETTE fanzine! $15 

BLACK TO COMM #24- From spring 2001. This issue's cover feature's a nice interview with Doug Snyder of DAILY DANCE/Sick Dick and the Volkswagens fame, plus there are interviews with the Dogs (Detroit) and Greg Shaw, a piece on the old CAN'T BUY A THRILL fanzine and the usual feature-length reviews and the like. $15

BLACK TO COMM #25-The latest (December 2003), 162 pages brimming with such goodies as a New York City Scene history (featuring interviews with Max's Kansas City's Peter Crowley and Ruby Lynn Reyner from Ruby and the Rednecks plus pieces on coverboys the New York Dolls and VARIETY scene-booster Fred Kirby), an interview with J. D. King (Coachmen, comix) plus one with guitarist Lou Rone, who would probably be best known to you as leader of the early CBGB-era band Cross as well as one-time guitarist for both Kongress and VON LMO, the Screamin' Mee-Mees, CRETINOUS CONTENTIONS, Simply Saucer rare photos, family tree and gigography, rare fanzines of the Golden Age (and more), tons of book and record reviews (which make up the bulk of this ish!), plus a CD with live Simply Saucer 1975, the Coachmen, The Battleship, Ethel with David Nelson Byers and Ruby and the Rednecks. $20 

If you would like, I can slip in a Cee-Dee that came with the now dead and buried #22 for free with your order. Also, I am sorry to say that my previous offer to photocopy long-gone issues has been rescinded if only because the masters are so old they are deteriorating right before my very eyes. Well, ya shoulda bought 'em back when they were up and about, sweetheart!

Got more'n just a little bit to blab about this time and I better warn you that it might be rather mind boggling for some, so if I were you I'd take a little bit of this now and save the rest for some other time, all in nice little pieces that you can digest and enjoy at your own pace. I've been writing up this post o'er the past month or so adding little thingies here and removing big hunks there (you should see the stuff I remove---really caustic and scabrous material which sometimes remain much to the dismay of some of you more weak-stomached readers) which is why this entry into the canon pretty much tops the blowhard-y meter. Of course if you're one of the true blue dyed in the wool BLOG TO COMM lovers out there (of which there are two) I think you'll wanna swallow it all in one big Linda Lovelace gulp and like, who's stopping you anyway other'n your conscience which I thought you tossed out the window ages ago?

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You know how much I like to talk about myself not to mention spew out my various deep thoughts and opines which is but one of a gorillion reasons why this blog is in existence. Well, if you're the kind of guy who gets his jollies living vicariously through me like I've lived vicariously through the actions of various musicians and even writers over the years here's yet another bit of autobiographical goo that I'm sure will sate your utmost desires. That is, if you truly are into Chris Worship and who in their right mind wouldn't be? 

So here it is, Sunshine...as to what has been goin' on 'round here well, believe it or leave it but I actually got called for jury doody, like for the fourth time in this existence of mine which I gotta say really burns the britches off my thighs considering that there are way too many of you yahoos out there who never got called even once! Eh, that's what I get for registering to vote so maybe I shouldn't complain though given the way I vote YOU would. 

Anyway, I was really miffed because frankly I had much better things to be doing (like making a living, honest or not) and in no way did I wanna be pulled away from my livelihood in order to sit around and pass judgement on someone I probably couldn't give two hoots about! But then again as far as passing judgement goes you all know just how much I like sticking it to people I just don't like and who knows, the guy that's up for trial just might be the one who's perfect for a little wrath on my part!

But as far as for getting out of it I had it all planned, like taking a rope and practicing my noose knots and carrying around a biography of George Lincoln Rockwell, but then I thought I might get myself in some trouble that I just don't need during this time in whatever's left of my life. Thankfully the judge sent about 150 of us seething and downright throbbing potential jurors home because all of the cases on the dock were settled out of court behind closed doors and in a fashion I'm sure Charlie Rich wouldn't have cared for. Fine enough with me, but why couldn't they've done all that before we peons hadda be called in just sittin' around doing nothing just waiting for somethingorother to happen without anything to keep us otherwise occupied! Sheesh, they coulda at least shown us some THREE STOOGES shorts!!!

Besides the indignity of jury duty I have been keeping myself occupied considering that idle hands are the devil's rec room or something like that. Basically with this thing they call "work" as well as with this other thing called "lumping in front of the television set during the evening hours because you're exhausted and depressed by that other thing taking up your life". When I have the chance I pour through my old books, usually during turd time when I have to get my mind off of this disgusting necessity in my life. When I have an entire afternoon to kill maybe I'll crack open a box of old fanzines or whatnot, the whatnot usually being the reams of articles I copies off of Rocksbackpages back when I decided to splurge on a month's subscription and gobble up everything I deemed necessary that they had up for my approval. A nice endeavor true, but they seem to be lacking in a whole lot, like more articles by the likes of the late-seventies SOUNDS crowd (Goldman, Dadomo, Suck, Ingham...) and other oft forgotten or downright neglected English scribes whose writings hardly made their way over to my neck (or more accurately, asshole) of the woods. Even some Amerigan ones too! As if I had money and various other earthly goods handed to me on a silver platter just like all you rich kids reading this thing sneering at me for my abject poverty.

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Like clockwork or at least tax time, an issue of FAUX WOOD PANELING has once again made its way to our doors. Or at least mine but anyway what else can I say about perhaps the bestest of best fanzines being produced today, at least as far as I know of considering that I'm not exactly raking in the mags these days. Custom made for the Meltzer type of aesthetic, FAUX WOOD PANELING's latest has an interview with Gregg Turner, a quite interesting piece on Dion (with a Meltzer twist!), Pittsburgh's I think they're supposed to be legendary the Puke, Cecil Taylor (!), Lisa "Suckdog" Carver (?), River Trash Records and even reviews of a couple of Japanese anime things that might be hentai but I'm not askin'! There's loadsa stuff in this thick issue that'll satisfy the hidden brat that lingers within all of us, and I don't hafta tell you how to get it now, do I? (Hint hint hint---look at the column on the left under "Faux Wood Paneling" and who knows, the answers to at least some of your prayers just might come true!).

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No posts on the DENIM DELINQUENT facebook page lately. I hope that Jymn Parrett isn't sick if not worse!

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Another AI exclusive! A true-to-life photographic rendition of Andy Warhol shooting
Valerie Solanis in retaliation for all of the grief she's given him (yeah, the one on the right looks nada like the real Solanis, but ya gotta admit that AI is still in its infancy and these rather amusing misfires and downright gaffes are just as fun as had something more realistic been conjured up!).

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THINGS WATCHED ON TEE-VEE AS OF LATE: As hinted at a few paragraphs above, I've been eyeballing a whole lot more tee-vee these days than I have these past two or three decades, and if you must know or really care for that matter I am PROUD of the fact. Strange but true, I've actually discovered that there is some television out there that is finally worth my time and satellite dish money, and none of it is any of them Lifetime For Women tee-vee mooms or flashy updates on the old Ted Mack Amateur Hour talent shows either. Naw, the programming that I'm front and center for speaks to the raw core of my eternal being, transcending a whole load of barriers and searches inside whatever it is that's left of my soul appealing to me on a multi-dimension level I doubt any of you readers will ever fathom. Television that speaks to me as a throbbing, living individual 'stead of as the wimpass follower of hognose ring-yanking trends and fancies. Entertainment that, once again, proves that I am a better man than most all of you will ever be. Here is some important cathode crashing that I have done or am doing as of late, and of course you would be wise to seek out these various programs and episodes in order to better your somewhat kukkied up life:

GUNSMOKE : "ISLAND IN THE DESERT PART ONE AND CONCLUSION" (originally airing on CBS December 2 and December 9, 1974) - I've written enough about this program these past few yeas but anyway, here's my overall opinion regarding the twenty-year run of this by-now infamous, legendary and other accolades that mean nada to you western tee-vee series. The first three or so seasons are the best, the rest of the half hour episodes are very good, the hour long black and white-era ones can at times get somewhat spotty and the color ones ain't worth the time. At least I thought that the color ones were snoozerinos for a longer period than I can imagine, probably due to me actually trying to watch some of those later ones back during my pre-pubesprout days and finding them too lacking in a whole load of the bared-wire intensity and general hard-edged power that I thought was exactly what drove all of my uncles to their tee-vee sets in the first place. 

Throwing caution to the gutwinds I tuned into this last-season (1974-1975) two-parter if only for the presence of Strother Martin making his last (and only color-era) GUNSMOKE appearance and gotta say that I'm sure glad I decided to stay up past my usual eight o'clock bedtime. Repeato-riff me has also gotta say that most all of the guy's other appearances in this series were what made those particular episodes highlights of the show's history...his second pop up as some retarded guy named Cooter who is goaded by a gambler into trying to kill Marshal Dillon rates in my top ten of GUNSMOKEs, while his role a few seasons later as the equally addled Dooley who thinks he killed a fellow buffalo skinner is equally powerful, especially in the final scene which might even make you want to do a little throat lumping yourself. Another favorite of mine is this mid-sixties hour-long one where Martin's the brutal victim of not only an amoral and ultra-violent clan (led by Denver Pyle playing it extremely and uncharacteristically sadistic) but some Slim Jims that pack a particularly potent punch.

However this last-season two-parter's an equally power-pumping piece of television viewing and undoubtedly a couple of THE BEST COLOR ERA GUNSMOKES THAT I EVER LAID EYES UPON. Starts out with Marshal Dillon and his grubbier than you would have liked deputy Festus delivering a vicious murderer to a sheriff's office where a hanging is in the immediate offering and Festus is sticking around just for the festivities so-to-speak. After Dillon skedaddles the bad boy grabs a letter opener, kills the sheriff and escapes with Dillon's deputy in hot pursuit, at least until the ol' skudder gets grazed by the escapee's close enough rifle shot smack dab in the middle of the desert and left for "crow's bait" in the killer's own taunting words. Miraculously enough Festus is saved by Martin playing desert hermit Ben Snow, a guy who has been lost for what must've seemed like ages and is so whacked from the loneliness that he even has a pet rattlesnake to keep him company. Snow's got his own ideas as far as getting out of the place in order to exact some well-deserved revenge on the guy who not only shot him in the leg and abandoned him but ran off with his gold, and after swiping Festus' gun the coot's actually got the deputy by the prairie oysters as he forces him to take a ten mile hike through the desert. Destination: the town of Ten Strike where justice is gonna be rendered in a way only that Snow could really appreciate --- mainly humiliation!

Once again Martin plays it so believable that you'll undoubtedly be rooting for and against him at the same time. It's that old "he's s'posed to be the bad guy but you kinda wonder if he really is that bad" (maybe good-bad but not evil) scenario. You can't blame him for his built-up hostilities considering his mental screwedupness and the well-deserved poetic justice he has been longing for lo them many years. Ain't gonna tell you any more but the story gets weirder and more intense as it goes on, with the last ten minutes or so turning into one big gnarl on your very own spirit as you see things coming to the conclusion you kinda/sorta thought would happen but hoped wouldn't. But hey, even real life turns out in sad and sorry ways and I should know.

This 'un shoulda won some awards and if it were packaged as a feature length moom pitcher I'd rush to see it. I really can't get it through my chromebus domebus just how believable and gosh darn pity inducing Martin is as he was in his other GUNSMOKE appearances, while William Watson as the escaped murderer's so irritating and downright evil that you just can't wait for him to get his just desserts (and boy does he get 'em!). Even Ken Curtis plays the best Festus I've ever seen, somewhat different than his usual inbred sorta self and in fact quite wiry. I used to be of the same mind as my mother that Festus was nothing but a walking turdburger and that Chester was the perfect character to play the deputy role, but Curtis should have gotten some sorta huzzahs for his performance, or at least a raise. It's that good and I gotta say that even one day after viewing I am still somewhat razzled by the whole thing. If you ain't of the same mind as me well, you can always go back to your Vanessa Del Rio films 'n I won't tell anyone.

WARNER BROTHERS CARTOONS - Boomerang really is bugging me what with their re- and rereREpeating the same rather limited set of Warner Brothers 'toons during their evening hours. I don't mind the Depatie-Freling mid/late-sixties ones most people seem to loathe (even though most of those featured the Daffy Duck/Speedy Gonzales team-ups of which only one seems to be in circulation given the kibosh that has been placed on Speedy these past few years) but the "revival" 'toons made in the eighties and beyond are so self-referential they make me wanna puke. The best've always been the classic forties-era efforts with the detailed animation, vivid color that for once makes me glad that color tee-vee was invented, and the general World War II-era feeling that sure brings back memories of just how long that debacle stuck in the minds of the people who surrounded me...they just couldn't stop talking about the thing until their dying days! 's funny, but I remember my cyster saying how much she liked those early forties Warners cartoons that would start off our Saturday tee-vee viewing when compared with the ABC BUGS BUNNY SHOW ones which appeared at noon, and contrarily enough I was of the opposite opinion. It took a few years, but I eventually had to admit how right the ol' mule was.

The best of the current 'toons circulating on tee-vee include the late-thirties Porky Pigs that were done up back when an actual stutterer did Porky's voice (I vividly remember watching the Warner Brothers-Seven Arts prints of these on THE BARNEY BEAN SHOW when I was still in the single-digits) and of course the World War II era ones which still churn up those early Saturday AM get outta bed while the folks were still sleeping memories. And sheesh but I gotta tell you that when I watch those early Bugs Bunny 'toons that were made back when Bugs had that rounded-out skull and Elmer Fudd still looked like Arthur Q. Bryan that a smile, a small one but a smile nonetheless, pops up on this old shit's face! I mean, how often have I cracked one of those these past XXXXXXXX years anyway other'n when I'm thinking up thalidomide jokes?

Other faves include Bob Clampett's THE GREAT PIGGY BANK ROBBERY with Daffy Duck as Duck Twacy (I wonder who the gal with the big suckems seen falling outta the closet with the rest of the Dick Tracy-esque villains is s'posed to be----personally I think 'tis one of the animators' ex-wives, the delineator clandestinely letting his feeling be known given the rapid progression of the falling corpses) and the Bugs Bunny/Cecil Turtle races which stand the test of alla them reruns. The Roadrunner ones not so much given how many times those have been aired but I do enjoy the Fred and Ralph sheepdog and wolf "series" of which only two of 'em seem to be circulating these days, a burning shame as Eno would have put it.

I can only hope that Boomerang breaks into their vaults because there are more'n just a few of those olde tymey classics that I'd love to see again while I still have eyeballs in my head, like the ones with the little talkative mouse Sniffles (remember "Mutiny in the Nursery"?) and of course there's that intense nerve-grinder TOM THUMB IN TROUBLE which you can betcher booties really got me all worked up back when I was a sensitive thirty-year-old. I'd especially like to once again view the once-legendary HORTON THE ELEPHANT HATCHES THE EGG (NOT the one narrated by Billy Crystal) which surprised me since when I first saw it I didn't even know that Dr. Seuss was up and about that early in the game! And considering just how legendary it is howzbout "The Dover Boys" even though that's been PD for ages and you can espy it just about anywhere, like once again on this very blog:

And since the wraparounds for the original BUGS BUNNY SHOW have finally been located and from what I've heard "restored", how about runnin' those again??? We portable holes need them portable hole 'toons back in our lives I'll tell ya!

THE RIFLEMAN-Chuck Connors always delivered on the ultraviolence that there should be much more of on television, but sheesh those scenes where he rescues son Mark and they start hugging each other really do irritate me! I wouldn't make such a fuss out of it, but there are those stories about Connors that have been going around like that movie with Rock Hudson not to mention some incidents in a New Orleans hotel and a certain haberdashery, and since these tales were told me by three people who have no connection to each other well...when I was a kid I was good at playing "connect the dots" and still am come to think of it! A highlight television series anyway with that Sam Peckinpaugh edge added to it, without the nude Mexican women that is.

And of course I'm front and center for WAGON TRAIN whenever I have a day off or decide to play hooky. They're all good (well, a few clunkers here/there) though I prefer Ward Bond's get up and do it! Major Adams over John McIntyre's subdued Chris Hale (too bad Bond had to be a huge imbiber in alcohol and tobacco [and let co-star Robert Horton's liberal leanings and alleged queer tendencies get the best of him!] or else he may have made his way through the entire series) while ex-stuntmen Terry Wilson as Bill Hawks and Frank McGrath as Charlie Wooster were the glue that kept the show together what with their own breed of not only sly comic relief but underlying intensity that gave this series a unique flavor way better'n the grub that Charlie seemed to dishing up that's for sure!

What really gets to me is the way these immigrants on the train can retain their sense of dignity what with the grueling travel, lack of decent sanitary conditions and rampant disease. Sheesh, every evening they seem to be eating outside on checker cloth-draped tables with fine chinaware keeping up the decorum even under the worst conditions possible. It's also amazing just how much seemingly extraneous items these people can cram into their wagons (pianos, furniture...) not to mention just how roomy they were what with beds and a single lamp lighting up the entire place with lumens galore! Sorta like Snoopy's doghouse with the Picasso and loads of un-cashed soda pop bottles.

The hairstyles always impress me as well. Didn't know that men cut their hair in early-sixties styles way back when, but the fact that women were using hairspray before it was even invented really knocks me for a loop! And keeping it so nice and clean under such circumstances...shows you that when there's a will there's a way!

Eh, why should I be doing the anal-retentive nitpicking anyway? WAGON TRAIN was a top notch series that delivered on action, intriguing stories and well-acted roles from people who had more than just a scrap of talent, and now I can see why everyone from my grandfather (who unfortunately died during the series' first season) to my mother watching the afternoon reruns to a whole load of people I grew up with were front and center for this 'un for more than just a few measly years.

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ANOTHER IN A LONG LINE OF "DON'T SAY I DON'T DO ANYTHING FOR YOU"'S: An Amon Duul II (sounding closer to Amon Duul I!) rarity from '69:

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Hey, got an inordinate amt. of these reviews set up and although it may take you some time to wade through 'em all I'm sure you'll find the wading mighty good. The donations were sent by Paul McGarry and Wade Oberlin, and maybe someday I will pay them back for all their hard work but given how things stand that's gonna be a long long time from now. If I write out a will, I'll remember you'ins.

Dred Scott-AN INSTRUMENTAL ACCIDENT BY... LP (D.S. Records)

I heard this way back in the Pre-Cambrian Era and thought it was nothing but stoned guy jagoffs trying to be hot stuff in the rec room, but in the here and now it sounds just like the kinda racket I woulda hoped that noisy group from down the street (the one mom always wondered why Mrs. Fafoofnik didn't march her son down to the barber shop and like RIGHT NOW!!!) woulda cooked up 'stead of their rehashing of Bloodrock riffs. 

Starts off with a jam which meanders at times true, but right when you're ready to head out for some Dr. Pepper it all coalesces in ways where you don't even need mental stimulants to appreciate the thing. Best of all, it all ends with a great version of "Waiting For My Man" which for some odd reason reminds me of that one the Riot Squad recorded even before the first Velvet Underground album came out! Maybe if I had heard some group playing this in their rec room when I was six my life would have changed all for the better. And if it's anything that'll make you wanna jump for joy Dred Scott's drummer was Stan Moore, who I have been told is the same Stan Moore who used to be in the Texas psychedelic band Zachary Thaks!  A reissue with the usual bonuses (like a 1983 single recorded after Moore left the group) would most certainly be appreciated.    

Oh, 'n by the way I read one on-line review of this where the writer-upper said that he was surprised that no one in the group was names Dred Scott, which only goes to show you just how vapid the educational system is in these here United States! And considering the concentration on dredging up all of the nasty things that happened at the expense of the nation's better attributes you'd think that Scott's name would be on the lips and tongues of every student who has to go through twelve-plus years of shame and guilt if only because of a dearth of melanin!                                                                            

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Brinsley Schwarz-IT'S ALL OVER NOW CD-r burn (originally on Mega Dodo Records)

I guess this is the final and long-unreleased until 2017 Brinsley Schwarz album, one that was thankfully recorded with commercial success in mind thus lacking in some of the more hippified moments of the group's earlier pump-outs. Too bad this remained hidden for so long because any number of tracks here just might have made good mid-seventies summertime AM transistor radio little boys watching neighborhood girls sunbathe in skimp swim suits hit material. 

I could envision not only Greg Shaw yelling "it's all coming back" over and over after giving this a spin but the fluttering of hearts of all of those pimple thighed gals who usually bought Bo Donaldson singles. Sheesh, but the title track coulda been one of those hit seventies re-dos like the kind Donny Osmond and David Cassidy usedta rake in the bucks with! 

Only a few clunkers here...overall a platter that brightened my day only now I just gotta slip on some Throbbing Gristle to DARKEN it!

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The Queers-GROW UP CD-r burn (originally on Lookout Records)

I usedta believe that the whole neo-Ramonesian influence on punk pre-punque fizzled out with the advent of hardcore, but I've made a few slight misjudgments in this vein some time in my long and unstoried life. Then again, maybe I wasn't thinking given the heaps of local singles coming out well into the mid-eighties that still bore the melodic hard pop of the Ramones if any cursory listen to some of my old Max R/R radio show tapes are any indication. If these guys weren't part and parcel to any of those shows then I guess Tim Yohannon had worse tastes in music than any of his naysays would have ever believed.  Whaddava, it's sure grand listening to some punk rock recorded in the eighties that wasn't all rebranded hippie politix. I should have paid more attention, really. I should have had an unlimited amount of money, reallyreallyREALLY...

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Maria Minerva-TALLIAN AT DAWN CD-r burn (originally a cassette on what I assume is on the artiste's own label and of Estonian extraction)

One of the many sent me by Mr. Oberlin and I gotta say that this is one electronic dance whatever effort that I really couldn't wrap around that thing they used to call a psyche. Heard enough (if you put it all end-to-end about a good ten year's hunk outta my life) electronic mix stuff to give me a good idea of what detention woulda been like in Estonia, where this recording emanated from. Some nice swirl here/there but mostly snoozeroonie if you ask me.

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Mike Shank-SONGS I KNOW CD-r burn (originally on the artist's label, meaning none in particular)

Know nada about this guy other than he was in some indie moom pitcher entitled AN AMERICAN FILM which I hope wasn't this nation's answer to A SERBIAN FILM! But whatever the case may be, Shank put out a pretty good album before croaking awhile back. Starts off with some pretty nice acoustic thingies sounding like John Fahey before he got it all down pat, then the vocals come in and you get to hear the guy's gruff groan with a primitive romp to it considering the guy's singing and playing and well, it is hard to do both at the same time. The vocals are somewhat guttural and semi squonked which I guess only adds to the overall gunchiness of it all. The final track which sows a hard rock group romping through some instrumental might not be part of the original program, but only Shank and dubber Wade Oberlin will be able to tell me. And one's dead and the other prob'ly mum's da woid so I'll have to go to my shallow grave never knowing the truth!

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T. Rex-BOLAN BOOGIE CD (Castle Classics Records, England)

Every so often I dig out my Tyrannosaurus/T. Rex platters and reintro-ooze myself to the genius that was this group. Here's one (of many) T. Rex items that I missed out on the first time 'round, this one being a once-familiar import bin stuffer featuring the best of Marc 'n the rest during their Fly Records period. It was released right around the time when T. Rextasy was getting into full swing even though over here in the US of Duh it seemed as if I was the only one in the area who cared, and who'd listen to a pre-pubesprout tub like me inna first place? 

It has them tracks whitcha'd expect would've appeared like "Bang a Gong" and "Ride a White Swan" as well as the usual rarities and b-sides they use to pad these things out with. Thankfully there are even a few morsels here that never managed to pass my ears so I'm all the better for it. Each 'n every one of these tunes is a beaut and gathering 'em all in one place really does make for yet another long-playing T. Rex effort that holds up even more'n John Holmes' truss. 

Y'know, after all these years I still wonder how these guys ever did make it big...I mean, they're too good to have had 14-year-old girls with pimples on their inner thighs screamin' their lungs out over music as hard-edged as these 55-year-old winners remain long after the fact!

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Mohammed "Jimmy" Mohammed-TAKKABEL CD-r burn (originally on Terp Records, Holland)

Those of you who miss the heyday of blind black singers will definitely go for this guy. Hokay, Mohammed ain't exactly of the Negro persuasion since he's Ethiopian but I guess he's close enough for us dumb Amerigans. The guy plays what sounds like an electric clavinet while his band strum along on an Ethiopian harp and percussive things making for one of those world music hotcha items that got phony intellectuals all excited ever since the days ot the MUSIC OF BULGARIA album. Kinda jive jazzy music that might fit in with your own assuring of your One World Brotherliness 'n all, but I'll take Group Inerane over this guy anyway.

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Various Somethingorothers-NOW MIX 1, 2, and 3 CD-r burns

A Wade Oberlin collection containing a buncha Joe Carducci-approved trackage of kraut origin that ranges from somewhat good to what was THAT??? Oberlin gives the lowdown between tracks just like they do on college radio stations only the guy's voice is sped up to chipmunkese making it about as hard for me to understand as I'm sure it was for David Seville. It's a jumble of things that are somewhat listenable even if I doubt I'll be playing any of this again. Sheesh, Germany used to be known for some nerve-grating and bared-wire music---wha' app'd?

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Amon Duul I and II-VARIOUS THINGIES CD-r burn

Speaking of krauts, maybe they shoulda won the war if only so's that the USA woulda been INUNDATED with this kind of music! Here're a few Amon Duul thingies copped off Youtube including the clip seen above not to mention "Eye Shaking King" and "Surrounded by the Stars" taken from Kraut tee-vee. I'd say that all of these tracks are pretty snat even if the later one from '75 shows plenty (not so good) signs of the group's punk rock loose ends tightening up. Topping it off is a brief yet potent excerpt from the 1968 Essen gig that I embedded on this blog sometime back. It has some (well, at least me) begging for more, at least to the point where I actually played this track on "repeat" for a good sixty minutes straight its that repeato riff good. A Youtube comment on that 'un simply reads "German Velvet" and I'm not gonna argue with the man one bit! Another quipped "the poor man's Velvet Underground" which might come in for a little tete a tete...

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The Rolling Stones-BRIDGES TO  BABYLON CD-r burn (originally on Virgin Records)

Yeah I know, why do people still care. But there are some respected souls whose opinions I cherish who say that the Rolling Degenerates still cranked it out years after most braincell-packed people like myself dismissed them so like, why not give this the ol' go anyway. Frankly it's not bad, but it's not good either what with Mick sounding nothing like his old spiritually blackface self and the musical backing being smooth to the point where you can appreciate those early BBC sides in their raw state all the more. I thought the bonus jam echoed the old and bluesy Stones somewhat but eh, these guys shoulda scrambooched to the old folks home long ago!

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Dusty Springfield-"DUSTY" THE SILVER COLLECTION CD-r burn (originally on Philips Records)

She's one of them singers that I grew up thinking was for the older kids (I was but a zygote at the time) so I never paid her no mind. I will admit that the big 'uns of hers (the hits that is) were OK enough to the point where it wasn't worth the time and effort to get up and change the station. I still have that "grown up music" attitude towards her but only a dyed in the wool former rock critic would deny that each and every track here beats any of that slutty gal singer stuff that's been crammed down more'n a few throats for so long I've stopped counting. 

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The Clash-THE CLASH ; GIVE 'EM ENOUGH ROPE CD-r burns (originally on Epic Records)

Wouldja believe that I never reviewed a Clash album in lo my born days (Big Audio Dynamite don't count)? Well, to make up for it here are not just one but two of 'em, mainly the group's first coupla longplaying efforts done back when music like this was considered downright evil next to the usual swill that was overcoming the teenbo minds of this here nation (and given how them kids turned out it's no wonder that the various Generations X, Y and Z think the Boomers are nothing but a buncha self-centered myopic turds! And y'know what...I feel that way too).

THE CLASH just don't cut it with me. Well, the singles work because I get them brief spurt of Clashdom which quickly sate but when it's gathered all in one place I'm bogged down by it all. Anyway when you compare this spinner next to a good portion of the music falling under the "vague rubric of new wave" (copyright 1986 Robert Christgau) around the same time this just doesn't rate next to the likes of the things that various other acts on either a big label, a self-produced single or even nothing at all to document 'em were able to crank out. 

GIVE 'EM ENOUGH ROPE fares much better, perhaps because Sandy Pearlman's presence makes me think Dictators 'r something. Harder and fuller than the first, although knowing that Greil Marcus went whole hog for this does damper any enthusiasm I might have quite a bit. Anyway, when you boil everything down to the bones does this music really mean that much when (once again) compared with a good hunk of the competition? I'll take the 101ers over this any day of the week.

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Y'know, sometimes I get these sad and downright curl up 'n die feelings knowing that my fanzine, something which at one point of my life was my pride, joy and sole reason for existing, has never gotten its well-deserved dues. Nor has it been praised (either at the time or in retrospect) for the fine work it was with all of the diligence and scrutiny (despite the primitive equipment at hand to rely on, the lack of funds making me resort to some extreme penny-pinching and scrap selling, and lack of facts having to rely on the fuzzy memories of the subjects at hand and even downright lying and rumors). Then there were the general hassles regarding distribution and "the conspiracy of silence" while lesser efforts unfortunately got the bigtime huzzahs. Then I take some medication and, thankfully enough, the feeling goes away. You might want to see what all of the fuss really was about way back when things like home-produced (on the kitchen table!) efforts were like in those pre-technowhiz days, and if you are the kind of person who really does want to find out you know what to do now, eh? Outside the USA, ferget it since if you're reading this you certainly cannot be rich.

COMIC BOOK REVIEW! CREATURES ON THE LOOSE #11, MAY 1971 ISSUE (Marvel Comics Group)

If you're won'drin why I had any nerve-digging interest in this particular issue of Marvel's long-running monster reprint title (a subject of which I went whole hog full depth into in the 22nd issue of my crudzine, and just try finding a copy), it is because of the Mighty Marvel Checklist mention that can be seen directly to your right, or to your left, or below or somewhere thereabout depending on your browser. Well, it's on this page somewhere and you can't miss it, and you can't miss just why I wanted to latch this 'un up for quite some time! For a suburban slob like myself who was diving whole hog into the comic book realm and found out about the underground comix not only via a variety of magazines but that chapter in the infamous Les Daniels COMIX history well, you can just bet that I was searching through piles of flea market and garage sale stacks trying to find this elusive issue with visions of the Checkered Demon violating Angelfood McSpade while Nard 'n Pat watched as they engaged in the act of self-abuse dancing in my head. Well, what were you expect to be dancing there anyway...SUGAR PLUMS???

Actually the idea of an underground comic, even in the pages of a reprint title such as CREATURES ON THE LOOSE, ain't that far fetched considering just how much Marvel kingpin Stan Lee himself used to show off his intellectual acumen bragging about how much he admired 'em because they could get away with anything, in my opinion an attempt just to look hipper to the more lovenpeace members of the comic book audience. Some of you (not me though) might remember Marvel's own venture into bringing the undergrounds to the mainstream entitled COMIX BOOK which I get the sneakin' suspicion wasn't as hotcha as the run of ARCADEs that followed but at least they got Richard Meltzer to contribute to an issue. However as to this particular CREATURES ON THE LOOSE well...for years my guess was that Stan Lee actually hired one of the undergrounders to contribute at least the artwork to some story, one that would conform to the standards and norms that you'd expect from a comic title that was best known for rerunning those pre-superhero stories with titles like "Gagoom" and "Fanabla". Perhaps someone like Greg Irons who very well would have been able to handle a Code-approved horror comic as long as he held the reins in. In '71 a stunt like that woulda been a coup for Lee, who had already defied the CCA once with those Spiderman anti-drug comics making him hip enough to the point where a whole load of "youth-oriented" mags were giving the ol' braggart a whole load of free publicity.

Otherwise CREATURES ON The LOOSE #11 comes off like your typical early-seventies Marvel monster reprint title what with cover story "Moomba" who was one of those oversized pre-hero Marvel monsters that most of the fans (I assume) thought were total cornballus but the suburban slob ranch house kiddies like me sure knew different! In yet another Jack Kirby penciled story set in Africa we find that typically patented everyday Marvel somewhat faceless character traipsing across the Dark Continent looking for exquisite native carvings to sell to the artsy types back home. While in the wilds, Our Hero comes across a huge wooden statue, one which the ol' stroonad actually believes will rake in the much-desired greenbacks and if you believe that this statue is gonna let the man get away with it you got another think comin'!

As for the underground comic that appears, the one that I've held a curiosity about for ages on end ever since I was a young turd well, who sez that Lee wasn't the P.T. Barnum of his day? The comic in question is titled "The Underground Gambit" and it is about as underground as a King Family television show with a few Lawrence Welk audiences thrown in. HULK artist Herb Trimpe drew this 'un about some hack working away on an underground strip entitled "Peter of the People" (which as you would expect comes off exactly like some square's idea of what an underground comic is supposed to look like) while longing for a bigger piece of the comic industry pie. This budding John Romita who goes by the typically Marvel-ish name of "Roger Krass" even has to keep up an image with the Greenwich Village locals by putting on an Afro wig and a vest actually fooling the obvious doofs if you can believe it. Anyway Roger gets a gig with a publisher who is really into the concept of what "underground" is s'posed to be, and if you don't think this one's gonna have one of those typical weak-tea takes on a Stan Lee idea of some sorta O. Henry surprise ending I don't think you haven't been reading these comic books long enough!

Yeah I like it in its own way. Marvel's various early-seventies horror titles like CHAMBER OF DARKNESS were trying to capture something of an EC feeling as much as they could get away with even if most of the time these stories veered closer to one of those old MAD satires of the old days like "Outer Sanctum"*. Dunno if those stories have ever been collected into one nice 'n title book but the idea sure seems like a funzy enough one a good fiftysome years down the line, don't it?

_________________________________________________________________________

*...and speaking of "Outer Sanctum" I remember when I was a pre-pubesprout and my father, so fed up with the then-current hippoid trend that was overtaking things at the time, was whole hog into the thirties/forties nostalgia trip that you just couldn't escape back then. Anyway, amongst the junk mail and various nostalgia-based fliers he received in the mail was one for some company that was hawking recordings of old radio programs including one with the once-popular INNER SANCTUM only (now get this) the opening panel from the EC spoof was actually used as a come-on illustration for that particular item! Naturally I was surprised to see this and even recall mentioning this interesting fact to my father, who didn't seem to be surprised or care at all for that matter.

SINGLES GOING---WELL, YOU KNOW---STROONAD...

Here are twenty more writeups, or perhaps even screwups for that matter, of  various singles, EP's etc. that I might have blabbed about in past issues of my not-so-celebrated crudzine, but since you probably haven't read those (as the dismal sales of BLACK TO COMM back issues would suggest) I can get away with scribbling about 'em again without fear of contradicting my original opinions and having you turds chastise me for it. Some of these entries might have even been mentioned on this very blog but since it has become hard for me to keep track of what I have written here and what I haven't well --- I do hope you'll understand.

Patti Smith Group-"Ask The Angels"/"Time is On My Side" (Arista Records, Franee)

Gosh how I used to marvel over import singles such as this 'un when I would traipse around in some Cleveland record shop espying a whole load of sound recordings that just weren't available in the tri-county area. Non-LP b-sides and interesting pic sleeves ne'er before seen by these eyes were to be found, and although I was subsisting on depression-era wages at the time at least it was grand just to pour through the racks before heading to the cheapo cassette cutout bin which was more up my financial alley.

At the time I never woulda guessed that I'd ever be in possession of this 'un, but I have and for well over thirtysome years at that! On the hit single side Patti and group tear through a track from their underrated RADIO ETHIOPIA platter, sounding commercial yet exciting enough in a way that woulda dragged in a few metallic music fans to the Smith cause (and I guess a few did cross over if the pages of BACK DOOR MAN and RAW POWER are to be trusted). 

The live in France flip has Patti tackling the old Stones "chestnut" as they say doing a more'n adequate job of it for a crowd that was part and parcel of the whole ROCK NEWS/Open Market/Skydog fan base. 's funny, but for years people said that France was a horrible place for rock music but in fact the place was hepper'n hep to the Big Beat more'n any locale 'round here could ever be. And if you don't get chills at the end when Patti proudly bursts out "The MC5!" well, I guess you don't get chills.

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The Pinheads-"Break On Through", "Have Love, Will Travel"/"Pushin' Too Hard" EP (blank label, undoubtedly of Swedish origin)

Throughout the eighties there were more'n just a few of these "sixties garage revival bands" popping up all over the globe, and although you never would have known it if you got all your musical news from the by then-gelded CREEM they were sure making their presence known in more'n just a few hidden locales. 

These Swedes were but one of the thousands of young upstarts who were doing their best to bring back the high energy in a world that was doused beyond belief. Thankfully enough they sure did a pretty good job of keeping the rhythm goin' on. More'n just "adequate" covers of the Doors, Sonics and Seeds appear here, and they sure come off a whole lot gutsier'n many of those groups did once the movement began petering out and fans began looking for another underground trend to latch onto. 

A fairly good 'un that reminds me of just how important the Disques du Monde catalog was in my life, at least before I began emptying my bank account to zilch for records such as these.

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The Cricketones-"The 3 Billy Goats Gruff"/"Tortoise and the Hare" (Cricket Records)

Y'know, I do feel kinda sorry for the turdlers today who aren't subject to these old kiddie tales that thrilled a generation of diaper dumpers. As always its their (grand)parents' fault. After all, the children who were told these fables and given some of the best toys on the market and didn't have to beg for the bare necessities of life were the same ones who became radical revolutionaries and hippie malcontents who have made life for all purposes worse for alla the younguns that followed! The last generation that really had it good, and they just hadda go and ruin it for everyone else and for reasons that were totally anti-human at that.

A funzie, typically portable kiddie turntable kinda spin here with the Cricketeers singing nice, single-digit ditties based on a coupla olde tymey tales that stood the test of time. Well they did at least until Mother Goose hadda be replaced by Big Mother watching YOU! and you know how al that turned out. Educational too, because I never was told the Billy Goats Gruff saga so it was almost like I was once again crawlin' 'round in my overalls (mom put 'em on so I wouldn't touch myself) listening to this rec for the first time before headin' for the set to glom some real deal suburban slob cartoon entertainment.

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Alice Cooper-"Billion Dollar Babies"/"Halo of Flies" (Warner Brothers Records, Germany)

Alice was the big time king of the freak rock roost when this 'un came out, and "Billion Dollar Babies" sounds even better (even with the intrusion of the otherwise excretable Donovan) a good fifty year down the line. It should sound better because well, have you heard most of the music that has been made since? Heavy metal never had it so good, even if records like this were its last gasps until the advent of Von Lmo. 

The big surprise is the flipster featuring the entirety of "Halo of Flies off the KILLER album, and all eight plus minutes of it at that! I didn't know that you could fit a song that long on a seven-inch 45 but I guess it has been done (with minimal if any loss in quality) and if I were a suburban slob ranch house kid back then who saved my pennies up for this 'un well, I sure woulda gotten my moolah's worth now, wouldn't I?

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Fire in the Kitchen-"The Fog"/"Inspector Marais" (Matador Records)

Back when "rock music" (both of an underground and increasingly banal mainstream variety) was going down the poop-chute to Hall of Fame nausea this group was one of a scant that delivered on some mighty straight-ahead and emotional (without the self-reflective pout) music that sure brightened up my oft dismal days. Even now I can hear what the appeal was with this act given their late-seventies influenced drive that reflected more of a suburban Velvet Underground affectation (seventies style) than it did artzy boho chi-chi snob attitude that seemed to be oh-so prevalent back then. But then again in the seventies that artzy bohoness and ranch house musical attitudes often did run in the same directions before boundaries were eventually drawn up. Big kudos for the b-side which uncannily sounds like late-seventies Simply Saucer.

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U.X.A-"1995"/"Visitors" (Posh Boy Records)

This much-praised bunch of seventies San Franciscan punks sound rather pedestrian compared with others of their ilk but that doesn't mean you should dismiss 'em. After all, their appearance on TOOTH AND NAIL was solid enough for anyone's (or at least my own) sense of rockist supremacy.  A more'n just "accurate" Amerigan takes on various English moves which were swiped from Amerigans swiping from the green-toothed ones anyway, and it went back 'n forth for quite a long time. High rating for the kinda lyrics that shoulda been heard in a rock 'n roll setting 'stead of all that "I wandered lonely as a cloud" twaddle that usually appeared.

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Richard Hell + the Voidoids (Part III)-"Don't Die"; "Time (Diff. Mix)"/The Neon Boys-"That's All I Know"; "Love Comes in Spurts" (Overground Records, England)

Hell does fine enough in this version of the Voidoids (the one with ex-Eels Jerry Garcia goin' under the nom de somethingorother of Xavier Sessive on the bass guitar) delivering on his emotive whine to some sold backing which should be expected considering the musicians involved. The Neon Boys roar on beautifully in that primitive basement demo sorta way coming off uncannily similar in approach and sound quality to those pre-Dolls Actress demos, Television's Eno tape and not surprisingly the Primitives/Roughneck/Beachnuts tracks that Lou Reed laid down before hittin' the big time. Sheesh, I sure remember when it was stuff like this that made me glad that I was an OCD rabid music madman who wanted to hear everything that was pertinent to a hard-edged high energy sound...whadda I mean WAS????

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The Cramps-"Hurricane Fighter Plane"/"I'm Cramped" (Famous Lux Records bootleg)

We're talkin' really early Cramps here when Peter Crowley gave these guys ample stage time at Max's Kansas City supporting acts ranging from Suicide and the Brats to Jango Edwards and the Friends Band. And all that time these guys/gals were accruing such a cult that even Hilly Kristel hadda relent and book 'em at CBGB's even after they failed their audition there.  

It's sure funny thinking that such a low-fi act as the Cramps actually covered the Red Crayola but they obviously did, and they did so in typical early pre-chops primitive style at that. You can hear the roots of their rockabilly passion on "I'm Cramped" which thuds on as if humongous gallstones grew inside Eddie Cochran. Another 'un that reminds me of the freshness and creativity of the seventies, and just like with disturbing pornography you could find itif you just knew where to look.

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The Shams-"Only a Dream"/"3:AM" (SOL Records)

I tossed these gals' album out because I thought it was tepid at best (or so I faintly recall), but this early single (featuring NEXT BIG THING heartthrob Amy Rigby) is a better than you would expect bit of acoustic countryified folk that sure sounds waywayWAY better than some of the music that has passed for both country and folk this past half-century. Surprisingly sweet and melodic with pleasing harmonies, a surprise since the Shams came outta NYC and we all know what a turdhole that place turned out to be. If this act played it right they coulda been the McGuire Sisters of the eighties.

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The Mortal Micronotz-"I'm Too Good"; "So Fine"; "It's Alive"/"Cleo", "Dean's Lead" 7-inch 3 rpm EP (Fresh Sounds Records)

If you (like me) miss the sound of hardcore punk rock before the entire concept became hippified beyond belief (the spiritual predecessors to the reams of messed up mental midgies ruining things these days) then you should enjoy the Micronotz. Avid mid-eighties under-the-underground mag readers might remember this group that had been getting some notoriety thanks to not only their legendary neo-Stoogeian approach to sonic bombardment but their label being able to afford plenty of ad space in just about every under-the-underground read in the world 'cept this one. The low fidelity helps as this group screeches through a variety of hotcha trackage that at times even sounds like hoary old sixties garage riffs being thrust into the early-seventies of thud heavy metal. 

Y'know, on one hand I imagined the city of Lawrence to be some sorta college snob town filled with hipper-than-anyone types, the Austin Texas of Kansas in fact. But if the locals were always as wired and hard-edged as these guys well, it's no wonder that Bloody Bill Anderson and his crew leveled the place! 

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The Antidote-THOU SHALL NOT KILL EP (Antidote Records)

It seemed like a fun idea fortysome years back. 

Krishnacore mighta been good for a laff or two, but what did that style of punk unto punque get us anyway? Nothing but splintered off utter nonsense like queercore, christiancore, moslemcore, femcore on down the line, and it was ALL nothing but hippiedippie antijamz set to a moo'ment that had lost any semblance of its original meaning long ago. You know that when mags like NEWSWEEK started to write glowing articles on groups such as these that the jig was up. As Jim Goad said, the concept of punk (in any wayshapeform you can think of) was the antithesis of the wholegrain we are all one people and culture save the world headband and trinkets dreck the survivors of the "revolution" had become in the seventies, but thanks to the likes of Tim Yohannon and Al/Hudley etc. punk became exactly what it set out to destroy---weepy heartfelt cozycomfy feelings that sure make me yearn for the '80/'81 days of hedonistic neo-fascistic (in a good and positive way) high energy!

 Nice enough roar tho.

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The Dehumanizers-KILL LOU GUZZO 33 rpm EP (Subcore Records)

Haw is this a hoot! Seattle sludgemeisters the Dehumanizers tear down local newsblabber and Dixie Lee Ray cohort Lou Guzzo after the fanabla gave an anti-punk rock editorial on local tee-vee back late-eighties way! This record actually resulted in some threatened legal action (probably due to the fact that Guzzo's own daughter was allegedly punkified herself and thus got an honorable mention in the lyrics) but, like with pornographers or even AK47 whose "The Badge Means You Suck" earned the ire of the Houston fuzz, it's kinda tricky to pinpoint exactly who to sue even if you're lucky enough to find out the brains behind the entire outfit!

As far as reactions to the anti-punk hysteria that prevailed throughout the eighties go, "Kill Lou Guzzo" hits the target not only because of the subject matter at hand (I mean, how many times did you [OK---ME] want to beat the living daylights outta some prissy purebred anti-punk progenitor like Anastasia Pantsios anyway?) but because of the great hardgrind metallic punk energy not only this song but the entire EP (filled with perfecto snide in itself) produces. Thankfully this 'un was recorded loooong before alla that ______core (see review directly above) was run into the ground and the concept of "punk" went "punque" making you have to look far and wide for the real deal meal.

Records like this just might have been one of punk rock's last gasps of greatness. The snarkiness of the title track sure is a refreshing relief from those comparatively subdued strums that came out much later, songs that had none of the motion, energy and spark that drew kids to the form in the first place. Music that in many cases was just downright droopy. Maybe you remember way back when a well-to-do preppy jock type murdered some punk kid and got a slap on the wrist, and all that the p-rockers could manage to do was write boo-hoo odes about it all with titles such as "Tears From Heaven" that had oh what an injustice how we miss you sniff blubber lyrics. Sheesh, this modern day William Zanzinger should've been subjected to the Guzzo treatment complete with aspersions upon his ethnicity and beliefs complete with a good doxxing 'stead of all of those crybaby sensitive odes recorded in the poor punk's memory!

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Pat Boone-"Friendly Persuasion"/"Chains of Love" (Dot Records)

How'd THIS turdburger get into my collection? Gotta think of which cousin out there was doof enough to snatch this 'un up inna first place but eh, if I can review scratched beyond belief old kiddie records and flexidiscs hyping Helen O'Connell-plugged Big Band compilations why not this. 

Not much to say about it, only that even compared to Perry Como Boone comes off like Karen Quinlan, and at this point in time I think I'd prefer listening to her respirator than this slick stuff custom made for the timid of souls amongst us (yesterday's version of the past forty years of pop music pandering to the LCD of Amerigan youth). 

By the way, did you know that (hate to bring her name up again but...) Anastasia Pantsios used to correlate the underground punk rock movers and shaker fans of the 70s/80s cusp with the stodgy old fogey parent types of the fifties who thought people such as Pat were perfect for their progeny while the FM-bred-dolts who were prevalent were clearly the then-present day version of the Elvis Presley-listenin' leather jackets and sideburns kinda cool cats who were up rockin' and boppin'?!?!? Shows that some people should have been kept away from any sort of printing or broadcast media (and placed on a variety of meds that prob'ly weren't around back then) while the true visionaries like myself shoulda been given free range to do all the town crier spreading of the BIG BEAT news that always needed a push given the proliferation of anti-high energy types in this world of ours. Maybe if that had happened we wouldn't have had to put up with Ann Powers.

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Alternative T.V.-"The Force is Blind"/"Lost in Room" (Deptford Fun City Records, England)

This group sure went through their own long and strange journey considering what they sounded like only a good two years earlier. 

The a-side's perhaps too "progressive" for a buncha punks such as these, maybe due to the femme singer and the synth drone coming off like a beauteous mash up of Slapp Happy and Jimmy Page's soundtrack to LUCIFER RISING. 

As for "Lost in Room" it reminds me more or less of all that English "post-punque" musique that might have seemed interesting and artistic when it first came out but just developed into an even more ball-less mess of eighties miasma as time rolled on. Man that breed of sound sure made me almost as ill as all that pseudo heavy metal and ginchy gooch MTV pop that the dolts were gobbling up back during one of the worst times for music ever. Well, at least it was the worst time until the next decade and the one after that on and on and onanism. But since this was done up in 1979 its fine if only because well, who woulda guessed?

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The Child Molesters-"(I'm The) Hillside Strangler"/"Don't Worry Kyoko (Mummy's Only Looking For Her Hand in the Snow" 7-inch 33 rpm single (Ace of Hearts Records)

The Child Molesters certainly owed a whole lot more to the earlier punk rock generation of the late-sixties/early-seventies variety than they did to the late-seventies variation on the form. Their music was hard-edged pounce, recorded in the same style of glorious lo-fi as the Titfield Thunderbolt and Neon Boys and definitely way closer to the Captain Beefheart/Pink Fairies/Alice Cooper taproot than it was the Sex Pistols. Then again, the Pistols were also way way close to that same source of seventies energy so what'm I talking about?

A-side capitalization on local tragedy fits in swell with a solid neo-Stooge ca. RAW POWER approach that sure made me glad that I was up, about and had a heart full of hate (still do). The other side showcases a fine slab of 60s/70s cusp cataclysm music originally performed by Yoko Ono back when she had the makings of a true rocker and didn't yet head out for the sensitive singer-songwriter mode (as if people were gonna like her for any better for that!). I find this 'un badass enough to clump in with various other pre-Clash-era punk spunk recordings for kids who didn't need (once again --- brace yourself!) Anastasia Pantsios to tell 'em what was hip and with it!

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Cinecyde-POSITIVE ACTION 7-inch 33-rpm EP (Tremor Records)

Gotta pity these guys for comin' 'round too late for the sixties Detroit hard rock scene. They might have made somewhat of a dent if they were around during the early-seventies or so, at least as big a one as the Motor City Mutants (BTW...there was a live Mutants recording from '72 floating around quite awhile back---if anyone out there has a copy couldja make a dub for me PLEEEEZZZZEEEE???). Yeah this is definitely a product of the late-seventies breed of punk rock but the hard gnash and general roots are firmly a good decade earlier. Might be somewhat more Dead Boys than Stooges but I don't mind. Raving cover of the Dave Clark Five's "Anyway You Want It"...or was it Journey's???

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Surgery-"Not Going Down"/"Blow Her Face" (Amphetamine Reptile Records)

I haven't played any of them eighties vintage "new era" groups as of late so this Surgery effort was like a big return to those worser than worse days and the hope that somehow the rock 'n roll spirit woulda made itself rather known in a sea of musical mediocrity. It sure didn't but at least records like this gave a good go of it.

This Surgery single sure brought a whole lotta good memories back (as well as bad ones since like, well, that wasn't exactly the best of times for this pampered pooch of a sensitive soul) with its over-the-top brand of hard rock without the big label slick. Thankfully the rock "underground" hadn't devolved as speedily as it did when this effort had hit the mailboxes, what with these hefty metallic shards of energy (which puts alla that Pantsios-hyped examples of cleaned up tinklings that the kids really wanted to utter shame!) drilling holes into a whole lot more than your eardrums.

Lock Andy Secher in a room with this and he'll be crawling up the walls just begging for his Van Halen albums if only to soothe them shattered nerves!

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Jeff Dahl-"Rock & Roll Critic"/"Janine", "I Heard" (Doodley Squat Records)

This goombah made a huge splash in underground hard rock circles during the eighties/nineties what with his Jeff Dahl Group and SONIC IGUANA fanzine (he even got himself a nice and long-windy feature in the 11th issue of my own rag), but on this '77 effort courtesy of White Boy's Mr. Ott Dahl's hair is short and is sporting a denim jacket, looking threatening enough to the point where this sissy feels like hiding under the bed upon once glance of the sleeve! 

This reminds me somewhat of those Nick Kent tracks that appeared on the PUNKS FROM THE UNDERGROUND album as well as various then-contemp tries at a neo-Velvet Underground approach to personal concerns. For some odd reason this even dredges up memories of that Stalingrad Symphony release of late-70s recordings by Eddie Flowers' friend Billy McCarter if only because these minds seem to be dribbling in the same Velvet-y direction. Many people have been trying to do what Dahl has for years with not even half of the success, so maybe trying to give a listen (this should be somewhere in the vast reaches of the internet) would be in at least a few of you readers' best interests.

Hey, while I got you on the line can anyone give me any information on Dahl's seventies fanzine CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT which I assumed was music related although I have seen a horror mag with that title up and about? Of course you won't.

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The Lost-"Who Do You Love"/"It is I" (Stanton Park Records)

Ya gotta give credit to Willie Alexander for having stuck it out in the rock 'n roll arena for as long as as he has, remaining meaningful in that under-the-underground punkified sorta way only the real deal types every could. Here he is at the beginning of that long journey fronting Boston legends the Lost doing a grand enough maracas-shakin' job on the Diddley a-side while oozing that refined '66 Boston-styled smooth rock a la the Rockin' Ramrods/Teddy and the Pandas etc. (it wasn't rough, but it wasn't glop) on the flip. If you want something a little different than the usual (and much necessary) hard-edged sixties rock you've teethed on since your very own beginning you'll probably ooze over this.

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The Wailers-"Scotch on the Rocks", "Snake Pit"/"Dirty Robber", "High Wall" EP (Norton Records)

Yep, these (no doubt about it!) are the original 1958 demos by the act that many "rock historians" claim to be the original garage rock band (something I will deny given earlier chart appearances by the likes of the Royal Teens and Rhythm Rockers)! Recorded around a year before their debut LP, the Wailers actually manage to sound even more primitive than they would on their album with a clankier version of "Tall Cool One" (the original title offending the more Carrie Nation types amongst us) while the rest just oozes everything that was hotcha about the Golden Age of teenbo instrumental rock right around the times the music was beginning to get somewhat slicked up. The sole vocal track "Dirty Robber" with pianist Kent Morrill handling the pipes is the definite beginning point in the vocal as scream method that would later be well used by the likes of Gerry Roslie, Iggy Pop and Greg Prevost. Betcha they never taught you stuff like that in any of them Rolling Stone mag histories now, have they?